Dealing with unwanted Christmas gifts

Tanjamaltija

The daughter would have been stupid to give the bag to a charity shop in their area...and also, was it a bespoke designer bag, i.e. the only one of the kind to exist in the whole, wide, world? Isn't it nasty for a mother and daughter to gang up on another daughter, though? The word gift is self-explanatory - no strings attached. I rather think that they felt they were being cute. They weren't.

I agree that this was uncalled for by the mother & one of the daughters who was not the one getting the gift. Out of normal protocol totally.

Ganging up ( bullying ) was nasty on behalf of the mother.

M0nica

wish list

Yep, wish lists are the way to go. We all get what we want that way, no waste.

A friend gave me a gift of toiletries one Christmas. I donated them to a raffle, not thinking the friend would be at the event. Sure enough she won a raffle prize and chose the exact gift she had given me saying "I do love ........ toiletries so much".

Well I received a re-gifted gift from my neighbour this Christmas. You could tell straight away by the wrapping as that was reused too and to top it all she used the same gift bag she was given, with To 'her name' and from her friends on the tag. I did see her said friends visiting a few days prior.

We have decided to only buy for children in the family and not adults. We all have stuff and don’t need more. It is so dis-respectful to rewrap a selected present to pass on to someone else and to not even remove the original tag. I like the idea of all going out for a family meal rather than individual presents.

I do agree that a little list of something we would love to receive is a good idea for close family members. I am always grateful for any gift that someone has taken the time to buy and wrap for me though. Isn’t giving gifts part of the Christmas story?

Is anyone else having problems with thus thread?

No, this thread is just like any other and I can read all the submissions without problem.

Notspaghetti my phone is fine today. Yesterday every thread was as you have shown. Eventually it cleared with no intervention from me.

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Reported

I've stopped giving people "stuff". I realised that most people don't want something someone else has chosen for them. You can let it be known gently, through chit chat etc with family/friends and hope they puck up on it. These days I give edibles/flowers/ money/vouchers depending on the person. I don't give anything I'd expect them to keep long term.

My son simply says he does not want it and returns it so I can get a refund. Much the best way.

I wish Aldi gave gift vouchers.

I can understand that they were upset, OP, but I don’t think I’d ever resort to that!

I’ll usually include a gift receipt with anything similar. But nowadays, unless I know of something specific that adult dds want, we stick to cash - or edibles for older adults. Certainly we older ones do not want any more ‘stuff’, and as for clothes, I’d rather choose for myself.

Though I have resorted (for dh) to leave a page printed from an online catalogue on his desk, with size and colour clearly circled - to save him racking his brains!

This is why in our family we don't give presents unless something is specifically asked for. All of us say we have far too much "stuff".

I am now 81 but when in my mid 70's my sister in law gave me place mats for around 3 consecutive Christmases. She knew I had got rid of my large dining room table and why she thought I did not have any prior is beyond me.

Then she asked me and I said a bar of soap expecting to receive a useable one but no, 4 so tiny I could barely see them. They are still in a drawer.

Greyisnotmycolour

I've stopped giving people "stuff". I realised that most people don't want something someone else has chosen for them. You can let it be known gently, through chit chat etc with family/friends and hope they puck up on it. These days I give edibles/flowers/ money/vouchers depending on the person. I don't give anything I'd expect them to keep long term.

My solution too.
Boxes of chocolate brownies or bottles usually go down well, flavoured vinegars or garlic/chilli oil for “foodies” , luxury soaps especially handmade, or flowers by post are all my “go to”
We all have too much “stuff” and one persons objet d’art is another’s unwanted ornament!

Frenchgalinspain

Tanjamaltija

The daughter would have been stupid to give the bag to a charity shop in their area...and also, was it a bespoke designer bag, i.e. the only one of the kind to exist in the whole, wide, world? Isn't it nasty for a mother and daughter to gang up on another daughter, though? The word gift is self-explanatory - no strings attached. I rather think that they felt they were being cute. They weren't.

I agree that this was uncalled for by the mother & one of the daughters who was not the one getting the gift. Out of normal protocol totally.

Ganging up ( bullying ) was nasty on behalf of the mother.

I agree.

Handbags are a very personal choice anyway.

Just realised this is an old thread but relevant at the moment.

I am not going to buy anyone lovely toiletries made in the UK (or any) because they get sent to the charity shop, so I have just learned. Not that the person who told me that remembered that I gave them to her!

Three birthdays coming up in the next weeks, too - help!

I deal in antiques and vintage and its amazing the amound of goods which were mass produced towards the end of the Victorian era and onwards. I have recognised "models" I sold in my shop on Pinterest (seemingly in other people's shops or collections) but I can never be sure it is exactly the same one. Even high end designer brands are mass produced so the gifters cannot be sure it was their bag unless it was marked in some way.

Why not just give them an Amazon voucher then they can put it towards something they like. It may not be very exciting but at least you know the gift will be useful.

Perhaps give gifts not appreciated to Church - charitable rather than binning. There are always many needs, especially now, in the Church community.

Unwanted nice toiletries could be donated to food banks. It makes a lovely little boost for the recipient to receive anything other than the usual basic fare.

My Mum has given me the same style jumper the last 2 Christmases. Just a different colour, she also gives my husband shower gel sets every year , despite me telling her, he never uses shower gel . Our local charity shop does very well out of it