Seriously unhappy at Santa failure

Of course he should make an effort.
You need to tell him he's lazy and thoughtless and has really upset you .
Goodness me buying his wife a decent present isn't rocket science is it..

Exactly, cocopops. He appears thoughtless.

What is he like in other ways OP?

My DH struggles to buy a "thoughtful" gift but when he manages it, it is always something I would never have thought I'd want but have found absolutely invaluable. Examples of this are my Fireman's Wellies and my Oodie. However, that's probably it in 30 odd years so I just give him a list so I get what I want. Sometimes they are just consumables for my hobbies. They may not be terribly thoughtful but they are useful. To sound completely twee...he is a gift all year round.

My husband and I don't exchange gifts. We have everything we need and if we want anything we buy it ourselves. I certainly wouldn't be annoyed because I got nothing!

Be grateful you have a husband, many of us are widows.

For the past few years we have done "a book and a box of chocs" for each other at Christmas and this works very well.

We don’t buy each other presents anymore as there’s nothing we really need. Present buying stopped the memorable Christmas he bought me a brass letter rack, he said he couldn’t think what to buy me! 😂

Disgraceful!! He could have bought a box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers!!! What a stupid man!!!

Does he have form for taking things literally OP? If so saying nothing was probably a mistake, maybe saying I don't know, just surprise me would be better.

If he doesn't normally taking things literally then he was being very unreasonable/bone idle.

Don't buy him anything next year and i hope he feels hurt

I’m sorry you feel hurt OP and I can understand it. My DH is not the best at presents - we usually give books and something that gets “used up” - but he does try and that’s what counts …

Slightly different in that I recently bought my GD her first house (part of what she would inherit!) but I didn't get a card or a gift at Christmas!! I didn't expect great -'bowing and scaping' but I think a gift would have been nice!!

My late DH was always excellent at present buying for me, he was also the one who came up with great ideas for others. We did say for a couple of years that we wouldn't buy each other Christmas gifts but he still always bought me a little something.
I think you've been married long enough to know you have to spell such things out for your DH. He did what you asked for, no reason to complain, but you'll know for next year.

Quizzer

Thanks for all your thoughts.
DH has never agreed that we shouldn’t bother with presents for each other. He just can’t be bothered with gifts at all. I buy all the presents for his sister, our sons, DILs, grandkids and close friends. I pay for them (we both have an income) I wrap and label them from both of us.
Yes I am upset and I have now decided that any presents will be from me alone as he has nothing to do with them. Yes, I know that’s spiteful but it’s how I feel.

Not spiteful. He shouldn't get any credit for the work - you did it. Quite right to stop being a humble good little woman and take the credit for the fabulous thoughtful gifts you buy for your family - especially since you alone pay for them! Time to shake things up. Start buying yourself a smashing Christmas gift and let your family know exactly what you'd like. DH can whistle.

Just tell him that you aren’t buying him presents any more and just buy your self something nice .

My OH always got it wrong in his previous marriage so he won't buy anything that I haven't specifically asked for. If I said "I dont want anything thank you"........thats exactly what I would get.....nothing.

Graham Norton once put it well.
Men. Are. Hopeless.
I'm not saying there's an excuse, exactly, but is there a reason? Some men are slightly on the autistic spectrum and they just don't 'get' things unless they are spelled out. Personally I would tell him exactly how I felt and tell him PRECISELY what I wanted for my birthday,

I have very low expectations of getting anything I ask for my birthday or Christmas from anyone but myself. I gave up expecting a surprise or even presents long ago as my DH always needs prompting even after 54 years. Unbeknown to DH, I always buy myself a present and leave a wish list on Amazon, just in case. This way I always get presents I want.

Sometimes he surprises me by actually buying me a card or something small. This year he asked my daughter, first time ever, and she showed him the wish list. When I do get a present I am always happy because he remembered me, even if it comes with the remark 'I (him) always wanted one of these'.
Yes, he is totally unreliable and utterly self-centered and selfish but that's men for you.

he is being selfish, there isn't any explanation
buy yourself something nice

It's better really to spell out "a box of chocolates would be better than nothing, I don't like just receiving nothing". People have different levels of emotional intelligence, and it's not their fault any more than lack of academic ability is for those with lower than average IQs. It's not useful to either of you to just store up resentment year after year.

I understand your disappointment, but I do feel it was caused by a breakdown in communication.

Many husbands find it hard to buy presents, mine could sometimes say, "I didn' t know what to get you" even if I had given him a list. This was mainly due to the fact that if I needed something ordinary like tea towels, I wished for them, but he felt that wasn't a present, it was just something you went out and bought if you needed it.

I tried for years to explain that I did not want or need luxury items, but not having to shop for tea towels or pot scrapers was a pleasant change.

We ended on a compromise: he bought me the kind of underwear he wanted to see me in.

He never remembered the actual date of my birthday, so we usually ended up going out shopping for my birthday present on my birthday.

I suggest you find a compromise you both can live with next year, even if it means you buying your present from him, and looking surprised and gratified when you open it.

You won't change him, you know.

TanaMa, I think that is so rude and thoughtless of your GD. I would leave the rest of her "inheritance" to anything/body other than her.

any presents will be from me alone as he has nothing to do with them

I think this is rather childish.
I would say "Next year I'm happy to go on buying the presents if you wrap them".see what he thinks of this.

You can buy the wrapping paper etc and hopefully that way he'll be involved and maybe more invested in what is being given...

I almost said to my husband let's not bother with gifts, as last year's offerings were pretty dismal.I wish I had.
One slippery acrylic scarf with gilt balls hanging from all four corners, half a dozen pairs of itchy trainer socks in lurid colours.
These gifts had been forwarded to my husband as a free thank you gift for buying various cheap items from a Chinese bargain basement site.
There is a bag full of more of these secreted in his wardrobe.
Guess what I'll be getting next Christmas?

People give you what they want. He obviously doesn’t want to do the gift thing. You know him. Is there something in his history that makes him act like this? Next time try giving him a choice of 2 items you want.