Gransnet forums


Selfish I know

(80 Posts)
overthehill Fri 27-Mar-20 16:59:16

One more pleasant aspect for me of the lock down, is I get to chat to my daughter in a more relaxed way and more frequently. Normally calls from her are made whilst rushing from one place to another as she is very busy with work and the kids.

As I say very selfish of me as she, like everyone else in her position, having to work from home and look after children.

MaggieTulliver Sat 28-Mar-20 10:12:47

You’re not being selfish OP, there has to be a silver lining to this dreadful cloud that’s engulfed us. I have my beloved daughter home from uni for the foreseeable. I’m on my own normally and it’s lovely to have her company. We’re relaxing on our separate sofas at the moment, listening to the Beatle’s Double White and chatting.

Sending warm wishes to all of you aching to see your families. This will end and I’m so hoping that the world will be a better place and people will be kinder to eachother when it does.

georgia101 Sat 28-Mar-20 10:13:13

Bookr, can you use this time to teach yourself sign language via the internet? I learnt a form of it myself when I was a carer and it's really easy to pick up. A lot of it is logical when you realise why they use that sign. Good luck.

NannyG123 Sat 28-Mar-20 10:14:22

Bookr, my heart goes out to you. Stay communicating on gransnet. We will be here to help you cope with this. This is a lifeline at the moment to so many people. Sending hugs.

GoldenAge Sat 28-Mar-20 10:18:25

It's absolutely not selfish to cherish every bit of additional communication you get from your daughter or anybody else who's in self-isolation and has that bit more time to make contact. We all need contact and those of us (not me) without a partner in the home need it more, likewise when there are grandchildren who mean something different to us than our own children, it's heart-wrenching to be separated.

RedPanda Sat 28-Mar-20 10:20:36

Bookr I really feel for you. Please stay in touch with us all. Know you are important and we're thinking of you. Keep strong x

Gwenisgreat1 Sat 28-Mar-20 10:20:39

Yesterday I was lucky enough to speak to my little grandson over facetime. He has Downs Syndrome, doesn't often speak, but giggled at me, yet when my husband appeared beside me he shouted P-P, typical! But so lovely to be able to have contact!

Sar53 Sat 28-Mar-20 10:20:51

Bookr please keep communicating with us here on Gransnet. We are very friendly, well most of us smile, and very supportive of each other.
I can imagine feeling isolated and deaf are very hard to deal with. This will end one day but til then we all have to make the best of a horrible situation.
Love and hugs flowers xx

mancgirl Sat 28-Mar-20 10:20:59

I will probably miss the birth of our 3rd grandchild. The plan was that when dil goes into labour I will go to stay with the 2 year old. Not sure what will happen but if I stay well, looks like I will have to go. My adult children have been brilliant, shopping (self isolating as a precaution), sending videos and pictures. We've set up Zoom so can chat as a family. Not the same as giving them a physical hug but I'll wait as long as it takes if we're all OK.
Bookr you don't have to be a grandparent to be on Gransnet. Please join in whenever you want to. Lots of good advice, humour and friendship on hereflowers

Pix5 Sat 28-Mar-20 10:24:04

My first grandchild was born in October. We have seen her 3 times as they are up North. We were meant to have them for Easter, but we have videos instead. I’m positive better times are ahead.

hulahoop Sat 28-Mar-20 10:25:30

Lauren ? Bookr? Stay safe everyone x

Jani Sat 28-Mar-20 10:31:48

Bookr. - yes agree with Rosina about getting a phone to text. If not stay with us - we all have a different story to tell and it’s good to share - so when you feel low just send us a text - there are so many of us we can help you through your lowest time of day - there is a point to your life - perhaps we could set up a separate chat to help you - I feel for you as you sound so sad. We must all pull together and help each other - sending big hugs your way .

Susiewakie Sat 28-Mar-20 10:33:26

I retired 4 weeks ago ! Plus side would have been a key worker so glad not at work.But was awake 2 hours last night crying as missing family and friends so much . Worried sick about my elderly mum alone in Peterborough ? I visited stocked her up and a lady from her church assured me she would get h stuff for her.Yesterday I called her and she had struggled back with some shopping and couldn't manage to get most of it .Feel awful as can't help I'm 3 hours away sorry for rant meant to say it's ok to feel not ok

Ninarosa Sat 28-Mar-20 10:35:02

My four month old granddaughter has just found her voice and is accompanying her wide gummy smiles with a riotous chuckle. My son said there wasn't a dry eye in the house when she first burst forth.Hoping they can catch one on video for me.
Bookr, please carry on being involved with Gransnet, reading and contributing to threads. It's a heartening way to feel as one with people, especially nowadays. To post seems to fulfil some void and to sometimes get a short response feels so rewarding.

pearl79 Sat 28-Mar-20 10:35:53

can someone please direct bookr to instructions to set up her own "question", to get some people writing directly to her?
temporary perhaps, but might feel like a good start.
and bookr, I'm sending you every good wish. [flowers, for the joys and beauty of nature][four leaf clover for luck] . but this may be another up side to cv19. people may slow down and have more time to spend together.
wishing you some peace and pleasure .

Nannan2 Sat 28-Mar-20 10:36:16

Same here Ladychaplin19,have a grandchild due around my birthday time too sad and much longed for by us all due to problems last could even be born early,& i could not still go see her.sad

Hetty58 Sat 28-Mar-20 10:42:03

Bookr, my only advice would be to look after yourself and be patient. This will end and you have to hang on to the hope of good things to come. X

steerp Sat 28-Mar-20 10:43:11

Hi Bookr, just an idea but what about finding some pen-friends to write letters to, the good old fashioned way, I know my Mum has made a lot of friends through pen-friends.

Nannan2 Sat 28-Mar-20 10:56:46

Carolanne557,how awful for your daughter too,i know theyve to minimise the risks,but to be told shes to 'go it alone' sounds very harsh! I hadn't thought of that so ill ring& mention it to my DiL later..i guess a lot of couples expecting would then opt for home birth to be together,but she cant as shes high risk(obstetically not corona related)

Houndi Sat 28-Mar-20 11:00:26

I have just signed up as NHS volunteer so i will be doing click and chat were i will be talking to lonely" vulnerable people
We will talk about everything and i will listen as well.I think this is such a worthwhile thing to do.

Nannan2 Sat 28-Mar-20 11:03:26

Yes,i occasionally have a moan about my 2 youngest boys but at least we're all here together! I miss my older 'kids' though& my grandbabies desperately! sad

Nannan2 Sat 28-Mar-20 11:05:54

Susiewakie,have you thought of doing Houndi is doing instead if you dont want to 'come out' of retirement?

schnackie Sat 28-Mar-20 11:12:25

overthehill my daughter in New York has been calling me too, much more often, and I take every bit of pleasure I can from it!! She is not working at this time, but is home with a 5 year old and 7 year old. I often semi-complain that she doesn't facetime the kids very often but even that has been happening more! I think she is partly worried about me - I had a genuine cold (I'm quite sure) when this all started (10 March) with fever, cough and stuffy sinuses, but I'm much better now. And I think she is also really bored being with the children 24-7. Luckily, her husband works at a grocery store so they have plenty of food, but he has also been working 10+ hour days, without a day off for several weeks. I have this unexpected cousin staying with me, so I'm glad I have company and we are doing quite well.

Barmeyoldbat Sat 28-Mar-20 11:13:13

Hetty I am so sorry about your situation, it must be really hard being at a standstill. Wish you all the best.

Wibblywobbly Sat 28-Mar-20 11:46:08

It is very tough. My first GC was born on 17th March, something I looked forward to with great excitement and now we all have to accept we may not see her for several months. We are trying to make the best of it by sharing photos and support via a Whatsapp group but I worry about my daughter. It is always difficult adjusting to being a new parent but my DD and SIL are missing out on the fun part, showing her off and enjoying people admiring the baby. I keep telling myself that one day we will be able to tell her what the situation was when she was born and it will be a historical event - just as we tell our DD that the Berlin Wall came down when she was born.

NickyNoo Sat 28-Mar-20 12:08:48

We were supposed to be flying to Canada next week to meet our 8 week old grandson. I’m tied to school holidays too so it will be a little while before we can go. We get to see lots of photos and have recently just used the Houseparty app on our phones. Up to 8 family members can join the conversation so you all get a space on the screen to see each other. Much nicer than all trying to crowd around one phone for FaceTime. We sat and cooed over the baby just as if he was in the room with us all. It was very comforting to be together as a family. Just got to hang on a bit for a proper cuddle!