Gransnet forums


Selfish I know

(80 Posts)
overthehill Fri 27-Mar-20 16:59:16

One more pleasant aspect for me of the lock down, is I get to chat to my daughter in a more relaxed way and more frequently. Normally calls from her are made whilst rushing from one place to another as she is very busy with work and the kids.

As I say very selfish of me as she, like everyone else in her position, having to work from home and look after children.

sodapop Sat 28-Mar-20 12:23:09

Everyone here seems to be trying to make the best of things which is really all we can do.
My grandchildren are grown up now so we can keep in touch with Whatsapp etc. I sympathise with those posters who have new babies in the family its hard not being able to cuddle them.
Bookr that was a good idea someone had earlier about using this time to learn some sign language. I'm sure there will be other deaf people on t'internet willing to help.

rosenoir Sat 28-Mar-20 12:39:59

Bookr hope you keep chatting on

demi55 Sat 28-Mar-20 12:42:45

Ref to Bookr

have sent you a PM, check your inbox

Best Wishes


undecided Sat 28-Mar-20 12:51:30

Bookr. So sorry to hear your situation but please do keep going and keep on checking in to Granset as you will always find someone to listen and offer you with advice, some you can take and some you can leave. Are there no on line sites to help people who are hard of hearing?

GreenGran78 Sat 28-Mar-20 13:00:27

There must be many people in the same situation. My son’s first baby is due, in Australia, mid May. Obviously my trip over has had to be postponed indefinitely, and I’m very sad about it. This virus has a lot to answer for.
In the grand scheme of things, though, it’s not that important. We will, hopefully, see our new babies eventually. Many people won’t ever see their relations and friends again, even to say Goodbye to them.
Best wishes to all the mums about to give birth. Right now is an extra-scary time to do so. I was born 6 weeks before the war started. I often wonder how it must have been for my mum, with a small boy and a new baby, wondering what the future held.

Bluecat Sat 28-Mar-20 13:08:36

Laurensnan, I am very sorry for your loss.

As for grandkids, it is hard. Our new granddaughter was born on Tuesday and all we have had is a glimpse of her from the end of the drive, as they daren't come any closer. However, there has been photos, videos and talks on WhatsApp, so that is a blessing. We have to see baby's 2 big sisters - 8 and 10 - that way, though they used to spend lots of time with us and sleep over at our house. We miss them.

We are used to seeing our other grandkids online, as they are in the USA. It is our eldest grandson that I worry about. The younger 3 are safely at home with mum and dad but he lives with his girlfriend. I wonder how careful he is being about the virus. He promises me he is taking care, but you know what young men are like. They think they are invincible.

Feelingmyage55 Sat 28-Mar-20 13:09:03

Bookr. Welcome. Why don’t you look the the gentle threads 1. Good morning (day). Every day opened by Michael/Mick. And also soop’s kitchen which is very friendly. There is another supportive thread called “the black dog gang”.
Do you do anything crafty/creative?

Ladychaplin19 Sat 28-Mar-20 13:09:38

It is important to know we are not alone, andcin the main, we can all think of someone worse off than us. Keep strong out there, and knowing we are all in this together helps. Let's hope our day bring us something to hold on to.?

Merryweather Sat 28-Mar-20 13:27:30

Our baby is due in 8 days. My partner isn’t permitted to even be present during the section or after the birth. I know we will be in the hospital for at least three days due to my medical conditions. Grandparents will not be able to visit until after the lockdown as they live hours away and or have medical conditions which puts them at risk.
I’m terrified to be quite honest. I want my partners help post surgery as being disabled every time baby needs feeding I will have to call the staff to pass him to me so I can breastfeed. That’s not likely to happen in a full ward where staff are limited but I will have no choice. I can’t get up or out of bed as the epidural has to remain in situ for three days at least.
My partner is being robbed of seeing his one and only child being born. It’s awful. My obstetrician is in isolation to so instead of the friendly face I’ve grown t know and trust I have someone completely different wanting to do everything differently too. My girls were both born early and by emcs so this birth will be just as bad if not worse.

Emptynester Sat 28-Mar-20 13:44:25

@Carolanne557 We have a new grandson joining the family on Thursday (planned caesarean), but as they are over 200 miles away - I have no idea how long it will be before we get to meet him. For their previous son we stayed up there and I believe we were helpful even if it was just keeping food arriving at regular intervals. The fact we can do nothing to help this time hurts a lot but in the grand scheme of things, it is what it is. We will be on Skype etc and I know our DS will keep us up to date and will. provide us with plenty of photos. They are currently healthy and please god that continues as they have been isolating for 2 weeks now knowing this was coming soon. Every best wish for your family and I will be thinking of you.

Narnia Sat 28-Mar-20 15:17:58

We have a community group set up on Facebook in my area and they are all so lovely helping each other out etc. Maybe there is similar in you area?
My mum is 80 and deaf and alone so I worry about her so much. I take her shopping and we chat from a distance. I've set up some online games for her on a tablet... All new to her but she's giving it a go!
She knits for charity and finds that rewarding.
It's so hard and I do totally feel for you. Try to reach out to the local community x

Conni7 Sat 28-Mar-20 16:21:40

I have been wondering how all the people whose houses were flooded are coping with this. I haven't seen any reference on the news.

Pennylucky007 Sat 28-Mar-20 16:30:25

My daughter is due to give birth next week and it is her first child. I was also meant to be birthing partner and she was distraught at first and I was terribly upset. But she now says she would rather I am safe and alive to see baby in a few weeks rather than never. I am still worried about how she will cope, but luckily she has a lovely partner to help when she comes home. It seems so unfair - but thank you for these posts - it makes me feel less alone. Take care everyone x

jdga Sat 28-Mar-20 17:19:33

Bookr & Laurensnan: ((hugs))

sodapop Sat 28-Mar-20 17:38:48

Yes I was wondering that too Conni7 life must be very difficult for them. I hope they are getting the help they need.

Bluecat Sat 28-Mar-20 18:00:57

There is a tornado coming in the area where my eldest DD and her family live. As if they hadn't got enough to content with.

hollie57 Sat 28-Mar-20 18:05:54

Hi overthhill,I am a bit like you my daughter is always very busy works full time so I am getting more calls than usual which is lovely but oh I have had a meltdown today it is my first grandsons 18th birthday I looked after him as a baby and we are very close ,we were all going up to celebrate with him today ,we have always been there for there birthdays but can’t go because of the situation and I am heart broken have FaceTimed and just joined in singing happy birthday thank god for the Internet and I know it is selfish of me to think of myself but I am not like that I am very caring and look after my elderly mum who has dementia so the boys are my release from other problems ,thanks for listening sorry rant over love to everyone hope you are all keeping well.???‍♀️

Roses Sat 28-Mar-20 18:14:18

Bookr, I'm sorry you are feeling so low I hope you can take comfort from your new virtual friends. There are lots of kind people on GN who will give you good advice and try to help with your problems.
I hope you take comfort from the replies you receive x

Grandmafrench Sat 28-Mar-20 18:19:50

Very best of luck to you, Merryweather. You are bound to be unhappy because the control and some choices are being denied you. But, please don’t be terrified, don’t let this vile virus spoil the fact that you are getting a prize, a new little life for you and your partner, and so much celebration, joy and happiness will come out of this. Stay calm, stay well and stay strong. I’m sure it’ll be ok, just try to focus on how happy you’re going to be. We only get to go out for essentials, if we’re lucky. You however get a little human to come home with. Big hugs (( )) from France ??

pengwen Sat 28-Mar-20 19:01:20

I think so many people are isolated and feel alone.
I am sorry for the people who are unable to see grandchildren.
A family friend's funeral was the other day and only 6 people at a short service,sad for the family.
I feel devastated that I can not see DD who only lives 2 miles away,DH is really unwell and on the severely at risk list.
Thanks for all the support you all give us all.
Keep well and happy. You are still loved by family and friends even if you cannot meet in person

Blondie49 Sat 28-Mar-20 21:24:03

How to handle this ?
I’ve known a neighbour ( good friend ) for 15 years. We meet once a week for cinema/meal or chat/drink. We do all our talking face to face and only text to make arrangements and never phone as neighbour says she doesn’t know how to use her phone to call and won’t answer main phone. We have always known she has a dislike/ phobia about ailments etc and that she would never be a support if I was in that situation. Knowing it and experiencing it is now proving a bit shocking to me. Have had broken wrist for 3 weeks, 1st week and a bit she texted and brought in a few bits shopping for me, but since got full cast on, she said you’ll be much better now and have not heard from her. Since lockdown met once at corner shop, where she bought said goodbye and didn’t wait ( can sort of understand that under present circumstances). Would miss meeting up ( when we eventually get through virus ) but can I get over her attitude and just accept everyone isn’t a caring helper when in need.

granbabies123 Sat 28-Mar-20 21:45:55

Congratulations to all of you new and soon to be Grandparents. It sounds from the messages I've read that all the babies are well and I'm sure you are all thrilled by that. Have you all thought about keeping a diary for them. In these unusual times it will be something to go through with them when they are older about how we survived , what we did and what was happening around the world. Save newspapers as well. Hopefully they will be the only generation to start life like this.
Please try and keep your chins up be brave and remember you are thought by your Gransnet friends.

Pap67 Sat 28-Mar-20 21:59:33

Hi Ladies, I’m so sad to read all of you lovely ladies are struggling missing your grandchildren. I decided I’d go and visit my granddaughters ( through the window!) I’m lucky enough to live 25 minutes car ride... and stood in the front garden chatting away to my 4 year old granddaughter who took it all in her stride and knew we couldn’t hug because of the naughty bugs. It helped immensely, but I did cry on the way home! If anyone is feeling lonely, feel free to drop me a message, I’m working nights in a care home looking after wonderful clients with very advanced Dementia, so if I don’t answer right away, I’ll answer during the night! Stay safe everyone ( and no it doesn’t matter if you don’t have grandchildren Bookr, we are all in this together ❤️?❤️

Janette1 Sat 28-Mar-20 22:02:05

Bookr. I'm not a grandparent either! I found a charity online that helps the deaf, you may know of them already. Send them an email
[email protected]
Do keep writing on gransnet, you seem a very nice lady and you're not alone. x

nipsmum Sun 29-Mar-20 13:00:28

My beloved sister is I'll and frail 150 miles away in a Nursing home. I saw her for 10 minutes 2 weeks ago in Hospital and I may not see her again. I'm in pieces just thinking about it.