Feeling really low

Lizbethann I do sympathise, I seem to be tearful every morning when I wake up. Memories and sadnesses keep flooding back to me. I do start to feel sorry for myself I know. Cant imagine when I will be able to see grandchildren and family in USA, went this time last year and children are growing up so fast. Son in England is struggling with lockdown as wife has dementia and doesn't understand. I cant stop thinking of the suffering of late husband and of my mother...I thought I had moved on from this. Lots of time for reflection isn't all good !!!

I think it’s because we are all existing rather than living. x

Lizbethann55

Thank you for sharing. I had a big birthday (70) the other week and it has hit me with such force. Up until now, I have enjoyed every minute of retirement but hitting 70 as floored me and I am now thinking 'Is this it? I am putting it down to the Lockdown and having my wings clipped and not being out and socialising in my hobby groups. Tearful I am.

This time will pass and it will for you too. I have found retirement the best time of my Whole life. No worries about job security. Mortgage free. Good health and just waking up without the shrill of an alarm clock.

*Lizbethann55 *I could have written that myself!
I felt just the same and in a similar situation.

Petitfromage I’m so sorry to read about your husband’s illness. You really are going through an exceptionally tough time and my heart goes out to you both.

Your husband’s wonderfully positive attitude will stand him in good stead to fight this cruel illness.

You have my utmost admiration for coping as you do ??

(And I’m ashamed of myself for grumbling. I’m going to give myself a good kick in the backside today)

Elizabethan and ThefrugalPiggy
I understand as I have some dark days where I can barely move from the phone and sofa and other days seem better. I too sold my house before lockdown and it fell though a week ago due to this virus and the guy lost his job. I do try to find little things to enjoy but some days are better than others as my future plans are all on hold.
I cling to the motto " this too will pass" and hope it won't be too long

Oh PetitFromage, I wish you and your DH well. It’s so hard for you watching him being ‘brave and determined’ and fighting the odds.
I wish you strength and courage.

I understand what you are going through,my husband has been diagnosed with cancer and needs chemotherapy, we were going away with the family for a little break before lockdown that had to be cancelled and had lots of trips before the chemo, it looks like we will be very limited to what we can do once chemo starts ,like you I feel like is passing us by ,is this all there is?
I do try to keep positive ,but still have dark down days . Take care

I'm so sorry for anyone who feels this way. So far, I haven't, apart from feeling quite frightened in the first couple of weeks of the crisis. Mainly because I'm an organiser (some might say control freak) and this is something I can't organise or control. We are getting through it by having a timetable. Not suggesting that's what anyone else should do but it really works for us. Last night, Tuesday, for example is for watching a crime series on TV (currently Harrow series 2 on Drama). While we watch, I am doing my big crochet project. Tonight, Wednesday, we read to each other. He reads me poetry and I read him a chapter or two of a funny novel. etc. etc. I've no idea what I'd do if I were living alone but I imagine some sort of timetable would still suit me.

I live alone in an isolated area so no neighbours to see or clap with on Thursdays. Am used to being alone but would love to he a le to just get in the car and drive somewhere. Am lucky to see GD now Uni is in lockdown, as she does my shopping. Beginning to fear going out and about in case I pick up the virus (I am in the older age bracket) as have 2 dogs and cats at home who need me.
Still feel lucky that I have plenty of space, fresh air and nature around me.

Sending virtual hugs ( & I’m not a demonstrative person) I’ve been there, many, many times and one thing I’ve learnt is that to berate yourself because you have a nice house, etc etc etc only serves to give power to the depressive thoughts, which in turn makes it harder to climb back out from the hole (metaphorically)
Healthier to accept those feelings, wallow for a while even, do something nice for yourself ( soak in bubble bath, buy a new book for your Kindle, plan a gardening project and that can be as simple as a Supermarket pot plant to nurture) take some regular exercise ( maybe just a walk in your garden slowly smelling the roses) for your mind or body.
Retirement can mean the end of lots of things but also new beginnings.
Please don’t think I’m being glib, I’m not, I’ve been severely depressed several times and it’s only in the past couple of years that I’ve learnt to just roll with it, initially easier said than done but like most things it gets easier with practice.
To you and all the gransnet community Be Kind ( to yourselves first)

So it’s not just me then! Utterly fed up, furloughed from my beloved charity job and likely to be made redundant, plus lost another job totally. DH still working very hard to make up financial shortfall-all I do is cook, clean, walk dogs etc. Feel as if rug has been pulled out from under me as cannot be a daughter (Mum with Alzheimer’s in care home, no visiting) or a grandma to beloved grandson 15 miles away. On antidepressants anyway but struggling to be honest. Only thing that helps a tiny bit is it’s sunny and the summer’s on it’s way-if this goes on till the autumn, I really will be desperate.

Lizbethann55, I read an article back in March which I still have on my desktop and read if I'm feeling down. It was on th fb page of The Barn and was posted on March 25th. It very simply explains the physical reasons for us feeling so bad. I don't know how to post links but if you can't find it and think it might be useful please pm me and I'll try and get my technical expert (my son) to help me post the link.

Lizbethann we all seem to have a wobbly here and there; unsurprising given that most of us don't like uncertainty coupled with fear, and we've all had enough I'm sure. Today I read that there will likely be no more virus deaths in a month or so. Currently my life doesn't hold any complications like impending moves or job worries, so I am a lucky individual but even so I fret about what life will be and think back to the simplest of adventurews, taken so much for granted, when I would walk into town on market day and meet my friend for a coffee. I suspect the small coffee shop will be a casualty. I wish I could say something clever and cheeering, but all I can say is you are not alone in how you feel, and we will survive.

Bamm, I agree . I try to limit my time that I devote to sad thoughts.

I think we all got our really low moments- some days are good and other days not so good. For the last couple of days I have felt really low. I keep telling myself over and over there are hundreds of people worse off than me - most days it works for me and I able to count my blessings but other days I just want to scream!

I think we have to accept that this is what it is going to be like for a long time ahead. Restrictions will ease, then there will be another surge in cases. Hopefully our leaders will have ensured that NHS and social care have enough resources to cope with more surges. No point pinning hopes on a vaccine, although I am sure one will be developed and made available. Lots of hard choices for all of us, but lets hope that some good will come out of it e.g. tackling how we care for an ageing population.

I think moods have up and down swings and the moods we feel over CV are no different. I am already retired but feel many good bits of my retirement are currently being 'stolen' from me. I think also that summer starting is normally a great milestone with lots of summer activities, festivals, holidays etc to look forward to but this year that milestone is just flat, with none of the things we normally can look forward to enjoying. I have down days, and all the internal telling off about how much better off I am than others doesn't do anything to change my feelings, so just accept it for what it is, ie a bad day, and usually the next day feel better. However I could have bawled my eyes out on Monday - went into Tesco to get a 30th birthday card for my son, and an anniversary card for my sister (as no card shops open). Neither type of card to be had, and feel I've let my son down - he's having a pretty non event today for a significant birthday. I've printed off 30 mph speed limit signs from the Internet and made banners out of them, we'll get a takeaway for dinner and we've bought him a crate of beer, but it all feels like we've not been able to give him a proper celebration. And before anyone starts up about him visiting us, he still lives with us!

Yes I'm feeling it too. I havent got to tearful yet - I've always had an optimistic nature which keeps me looking forward. But now after 10 weeks of semi-isolation I'm getting very restless. My family are in England and I'm in Scotland so I cant make any arrangements for visits yet. I doubt I will be able to travel for a long time yet. I spend hours going through old photos and videos which gives me a great lift. But I do think our world will never be the same, our grandchildren will not know life as we have done. So we must look at how things are likely to change and be adaptable and flexible. I am so thankful for our good health. I constantly think of so many people who are really suffering on so many levels just now, dealing with loss, fear, anxiety, uncertainty. Big virtual hugs to everyone. We are all in this storm together. There will be good times again. Nothing lasts forever.

I understand how you feel but must also say that I do feel very sorry for the young.

If I was a young person, I'd be very worried about my financial, housing and employment prospects perhaps or my children's schooling.

Luluaugust .Thank you I will get in the sun today. I was having a moment early this morning, as someone said upthread it is a rollercoaster and I want to get off !

I had a bout of clinical depression some years ago and I felt very guilty as I hadn’t any good reason. Finally, I went to see my doctor and he identified that it was ‘clinical’ that is, caused by the chemicals in your brain and nothing to do with outside circumstances. It can happen to anyone and often does.

There is medication which boosts the Seratonin in your brain. It takes a few weeks to kick in, but when it does, you can feel it.

My doctor also recommended the company of others, sunshine and dark chocolate. Not easy to get adequate amounts these days. I would have liked him to prescribe a handsome Frenchman and a month in the South of France but alas.....

Anyway, I just wanted to say that although your circumstances may not alter very quickly, it may not be those circumstances entirely, that are causing you depression.

Hope this helps. ((((((Hugs))))))

I could have written more or less exactly what you've said Lizbethann55, thank you!!!! I now know that I'm not alone in thinking all these things!! My emotions are like a huge rollercoaster, feeling dire one day, then quite positive and upbeat the next!!! I don't know how many times I've given myself a talking to, as there is nothing coming over myself and my husband, lovely garden, lovely walks near home too! Miss our family they live in USA and probably won't see them until there's a vaccine and I find that very depressing!!!! Anyway take good care, In a way this is a small price to pay to stay safe and alive really!! Fingers crossed we will gradually get our lives back! (We live in Scotland). So things are going a bit slower here! Stay safe and well.

You do not know how lucky you are, my husband died 30 years ago so I live on my own. Have one son working in Cambridge and the other in Oz. I live in London so don’t see my grandsons or DIL but I have good friends. We can now meet (one at a time) for a walk and chat together. I do an online keep fit class twice a week and have been machining
for NHS. It’s hard for everyone but harder for people on there own whatever the age. As you can see I am a senior nearer to 80 than 79.
Be positive and count your blessings

So sorry to hear you are feeling this way Lizbethann, I am certain you are not alone, I think most of us have a bit of a wobble from time to time, I agree that it does sometimes feel like time passing by when we could be doing so much. Slowly things are easing, this lockdown time has made me realise how the small things matter so much, the freedom to go for coffee with friends, have a little wander round the shops etc ... all things I had taken for granted. Don’t feel ashamed at all if you have a bad day,sometimes, if I feel like that I just hunker down, do whatever I feel like ( maybe nothing) give up on trying to be positive just for that day and then start again the next day, hopefully feeling a bit cheerier. Everything does come to an end eventually , including this really difficult time we are all in. Be kind to yourself and know that you are not alone xx.