Feeling really low

so helpful to know I'm not alone in feeling low - thanks for speaking out

We are all allowed to have rubbish moods from time to time.
It will pass, maybe not immediately, but it will pass.
And whilst you are waiting for that passing, why not purchase a punchbag, get the hubby to mount it onto the garage ceiling, then really get stuck in and beat the hell out of it!!
Much needed exercise and a black mood reliever.....

Please do not apologise as you are certainly not alone. I said to DH the other night that we are missing the best time of the year. Two holidays have been cancelled and it will be the bloody dark nights before we are let out of this cage called home. He just laughed and said that it was better than being dead! Also he said that things might not change for a long time as a antidote has still not be found. The thought of it made me cry and I felt down all night. DH said to pick out the positives and try and run with them. At least the weather isn’t cold and wet - not yet! We are free to walk about - but its scary. I’m usually a half full person but lately I have been taken over by aliens. We just have to try and stay safe and strong. Sending you all love and hugs as we are in this together - how long - I dont know.

Why do people focus on all the things that they can't do right now? No wonder they feel miserable.

Why not concentrate on everything that's still available instead, make the most of it - and plan for a few year's time. We are relatively safe, we have food and shelter, so it's really not that bad.

Lizbethann, my middle son went through a communist stage when he was seventeen. We called him our Resident Red. However, when he found out that not only the USA but Singapore, where we have family, take an extremely dim view of communism, he took the pragmatic view of family coming before ideals and the red started to fade in colour. He is in his twenties now and l have no idea what his political views are now but Karl Marx no longer seems to be part of it.

Couldn’t even be ar**d to get out of bed yesterday, never been that low before. Life seems to have just....stopped.

Also, I am sure I would be happier if only I had a garden! Or even à balcony! I live in a ground floor one bedroom apartment and just have my buddy Shadow (my cat) for company.

Anne107, I would willingly share my garden with you. It was designed to be low maintenance but two flash floods in three years cleared out all the perennials I had planted. The trees and shrubs are flourishing and I am working on getting more small shrubs with all-year interest. Meanwhile, who needs a parasol when there's a large red maple giving some shade at any time of day?

You'll have to forgive me but I don't understand the initials: DH; DD; and others - so perhaps someone will explain them to me.
I'm 70 this year and have been identified as vulnerable, so I'm on a 12-week lockdown, where I'm not allowed to leave my house under any circumstances. And it does look likely, that for those of us in this category, the 12 weeks will be extended to indefinitely.
I have a partner but we don't live together and we saw each other every day so this lockdown has affected us deeply because other than once a week when he brings my shopping over, we don't see each other.
I am a writer, so I spend a lot of time writing. Writing down your thoughts and fears (much like you're doing on here) can be very therapeutic because once you see the words written down, you can begin to make sense of them.
A lot of people feel that their lives are no longer their own and this is probably the reason why so many people feel so depressed. We have 'government' telling us what to do (for our own good - whether we agree with it or not) and so - as adults - we don't like other people to be in charge of how we live our lives. If we can tell ourselves that this will pass - maybe in a few more weeks, possibly a couple of months - then that is the first step to regaining control.
Another thing to try is to look beyond what is happening now and start planning something to look forward to NEXT year; like a fantastic holiday or a make over in the house or garden if holidays are off-limits; none of us are spending much, if any money, which means that all of us should be in a better position when life does return to normal.
It's easy to feel sorry for oneself during these times, but try - if possible - to look on the bright side of life (I didn't mean to type that, but as I did, The Life of Brian popped into my head and then the song!!)

Lizbethann, I sympathise with your feelings and hope they'll soon pass. I had both my legs badly smashed when a car drove over them while I was training for a half marathon 19 years ago. I survived. Now have other health problems as well, but keep going.
Please see this as an opportunity to embrace new things and ideas. Please ask DS to explain his political views and LISTEN, try to see his point of view.
For instance, do you think it's ok that Jeff Besoz is approaching Trillion dollar status, while his workers in the USA are not entitled to health care or days off when they are ill. Also he will remove the 2 Dollar extra pay he allowed them in June.
Luckily in Europe workers have more rights.
But does it not leave you angry, that our government is now negotiating with the USA in secret, who knows what our laws and conditions will be like after that and leaving the EU.
And with Trumps environmental policies our young people may not have 20 or 30 years left on this planet.
Please, open your heart and your mind. Take care.

Nanna58 I forced myself to shower an hour ago. Helps.

Sending big hugs to everyone feeling low.

So sorry you're feeling down Lizbethann55 but I agree with Alexa that it could also be health-related. If you're walking in the day and watching hedgehogs all night it seems you're not sleeping well. That could be a cause of your upset or a symptom but if you can get more sleep that might help. Having said that, it's not at all surprising you are upset sometimes, just got to accept it and go with it sometimes and, as others have said, treat yourself kindly.

To coin the current phrase ;Me too;....yes I hate it ...I bought a retirement flat when I came back from France ...so that I could leave it and travel knowing it was being looked at and not having to bother someone to look after a house ...HATE IT ..feels like a care home (even though it is for independent living over 55;s ... it is not what I hoped it would be !) SO I bought a caravan to escape to ...in March ...I haven't even been allowed inside it yet, let alone the holiday Park it is on ! I have had three holidays cancelled and its not looking like I will be going anywhere anytime soon ! SO difficult isn't it ...I just keep my fingers crossed I will be allowed to travel as soon as this is over...but at 73 by then, travel insurance is going to be hard to find (have an annual policy now, but not sure what the wording will be on renewal !)…….mind you, one ray of light yesterday M & S foodhall was open AND they had an arrangement of clothing which has been put on the ground floor next to it !! blissssssssss….found two lovely dresses but one was too short and one not in my size ….oh well, it was lovely to feel almost human again !!!!! stay safe ...luckily I live on the coast so I can get to walk along the beach and get a coffee from the little van and hopefully the mounted police won't stop me....not sure exactly how many people will be here at the weekend though ...my friends are coming tomorrow for a socially distanced coffee on the sea front (no one is allowed into the flats !!)

Alexa I wasnt knocking your advice about health etc and in normal times I d endorse it but now there are hundreds of us feeling the same way, it’s the situation not our health at this point

Took my nearly 88 year old Dad to rob the bank this morning. His third trip in 8 weeks. He would murder a pint ? Like he said, doesn't take a rocket scientist to do social distancing .

Hi and you start your post by saying you don’t know why you feel so down and later explain exactly why. The way you’re feeling is completely valid and although comments about appreciating the small things are well meaning, I personally don’t think they’re that helpful actually. It is only when we fully experience our feelings, can we begin to see how to change things. By acknowledging that you want more from life (and I’m with you there!) , I think you will start to see the way forward. It’s true that some things and experiences may not be possible now...or in the near future...but you may be able to make plans for a couple of years time. As like me, you’re approaching retirement, I think it’s likely we have some life ahead of us yet! And although our previous plans may have to change, there is lots I'm sure, that we can do. We can still make memories, so don’t give up yet! Think of some things you want to do -maybe for next spring or summer-and the interim time will be easier to handle. Be creative in your ideas and don’t talk yourself into premature old age! The sun is out here today and I hope you can find some small way of enjoying it.?

I felt like that yesterday. I live on my own and was miserable all day. Gave myself a talking too, had an early night and felt far more positive this morning. We are in a very strange situation and it’s not easy to be cheerful all the time.

Lizbethann. How brave you are to open up like this. Sorry that you are feeling so down. But, just look at all these posts? At least you know that you are not the only one who is sick and tired of feeling that there may not be much of a future.

At the beginning of lockdown here in France, I was panicking. I have stopped having crazy dreams now, no nightmares, no lying awake feeling desperate and being fearful for the future.

Nothing has really helped change this other than some things I have read over and over. The first is not to bother too much with "news" of all kinds. I could sit in front of the t.v. and just howl all day and all night at the sadness and desperation illustrated there. I can't change any of it, so I need to accept that and stop feeling desperate that I should be doing something. 10 minutes a day is enough for me, thanks.

Don't just wallow and do nothing. If you really don't need to lie in bed and sleep, then sometimes, all it takes to shift a mood is get on with something: a lovely bath or a long shower, a different outfit, a phone call, some time spent doing almost anything you want around the house and garden.

Don't forgo exercise. The actual rhythm of walking, stopping to look at the views, smelling the fresh air and feeling the wind and sun on your face can be just enough to stop the "blues" spiralling down into black moods and depression. Not always, but you have to give yourself that chance.

Look after something, really care for it, whether that's your garden, your window box, your cat, dog, hamster, goldfish, or your other half.

Make a plan to do something pleasurable every day.....and actually do it. Just being able to end the day feeling that you have achieved (and taken control) of something you really want to do - even if it's just putting fresh flowers in the house or painting the garden shed or making some exotic food to eat.

Try not to think too far ahead. When I start asking "when", "how long" "what if?" I generally start to feel defeated and dispirited. Things will change, they have to, we can't all just be doomed to live out our days in our present situation. We will doubtless get a vaccine which will help.... or the bloody thing will just go away. We don't know. Nobody knows, so there again, no point in worrying ourselves into a heap about it.

Do hold on to the positives in your life. You don't need to think that things could be so much worse, but. you do need to make every day count - even if it's not how you would choose to pass your days at this time.

And don't worry about retirement. Retirement for almost everyone I have known has always resulted in people saying "I'm amazed and I wonder how I EVER had the time to work!" Seriously, you will have a happy retirement - and if you try it and you decide that you don't feel it's enough, you will be able to take your time and find some work to do which will be the answer just for you.

Believe it. All these lovely people on here can't be wrong.
And you'll feel better soon. Hugs from France.

Lizbethanne Sorry to hear you re feeling so down .If it helps to hear you re not alone reading the threads I hope knowing that helps you a bit and everyone else too .It does nt matter what you have or haven’t those feelings are real .
Lock down is surreal everything is magnified.Its mental health week I m sure that everyone is aware of the effect of this on them so ask for support from family and friends even from a distance or video link .Maybe also try to have a video link with your GP you sound to be suffering from depression? Sometimes having someone objective rather than subjective to talk through your feelings could be the answer .The fact that you can’t enjoy everything that’s good points to depression to me even though the situation is the same for us all now .Every surgery has its system but you should be able to start with a phone consultation then hopefully go from there and have some well deserved support and medication if that’s required.Good luck take care you must look after you .
Big hug to all our Grans out there and their families.
We will move somewhere with this eventually.

I know how you feel but my Mum is 88 and I haven’t been able to see her since lockdown as she lives 300 miles away. I phone her every day and when I remark how cheerful she sounds she just tells me that she has no choice but to remain cheerful and optimistic! That puts me in my place! One thing I do recommend is that a couple of weeks ago when I was feeling totally aimless I signed up with ancestry.co.uk and I am finding it fascinating and I am having to restrict myself on the time I spend on it as 2 hours can go by in a flash and every day I find out new interesting facts. Right now I am sunbathing and making the most of the lovely weather. I FaceTime my little Grandson at the same time every evening and as soon as I get up each morning I do an online Pilates class so I think a bit of routine is a good thing. Hope this helps!

Lazy paws it is not the case that simply being 70 means you can’t go out. You have to isolate only if you have received a letter says that you are extremely vulnerable.

I am on my own. It has by made worse in that moved last August I am now regretting it. It is 2.5 miles from where I used to live and I knew everyone. I cannot meet up with my two friends who are on their own like me. In fact I have seen s house back were I lived and am viewing it today. Just want to go back to what I know.

I get totally what the lady means. We know that we are grateful for what we have bu sometimes underlying worries come out when our support system isn’t as in tact. That can be our hobbies and especially family and friends. My depression has come back terribly, I was fine pre lockdown and have had counselling last year and turned a huge corner.

I agree what she said about younger people looking back on this. We cut the grass and spruced up the house for selling up and hopefully this week it goes up for sale, maybe a stupid time to do it but I don’t want to waste time where I live, I hate it and lockdown has made me realise more so.

I’m up and down though too, x

Sending warm wishes - it WILL get better, but I totally understand your feeling this way. I am 62 next week and feel this is MY time for enjoying life, and don't want to be cooped up any more.
We are in Israel where things are opening up quite fast now, I am sure you will be getting there soon.
Take care
P60

We all have wobbles, even in normal times: some days are better than others. I think it is eminently understandable that feel as you do.

As others have said, try to accept the situation as it is now (we can't change it, much 'though we would love to) and take one day at a time.

There will be a moment when an announcement is made that the Coronavirus has been beaten and just as there is no longer the Black Death or Spanish 'Flu, we will return to our old lives.

We are humans and we can adapt and modify our behaviour. Perhaps you could write a list of positives and see if there is anything that interests you. Most of us have more time now, so be grateful you can learn that language or paint that picture, all the things that you never had time to do. Most of all, your life can become better.