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Need help untangling lockdown rules

(29 Posts)
Furret Thu 18-Jun-20 08:36:38

Asking for a friend! It’s her son-in-laws birthday next week.

She and her husband have been invited round as part of the ‘6 people can meet up in a garden’ rule.

His mother lives alone and can form a bubble with her son’s family.

They co-grandparent a 3-year old girl.

As the rule stands one grandparent (the bubble one) can cuddle granddaughter, sit close to son and family and go inside their house. My friend has to social distance, not cuddle grandchild and can only go inside to use the loo.

Do I have that right?


vampirequeen Thu 18-Jun-20 09:57:27

I've come to the conclusion that it's all about using your common sense. If you feel ill then isolate. If you're well then live your life. Try to social distance in public but if you want to hug your grandchild then cuddle her. Maintaining your mental health is just as important as your physical health.

janipat Thu 18-Jun-20 11:48:01

Yes Furret, your interpretation of the rules is correct. For that reason, if I was your friend I would decline the invitation and go separately another time. How confusing for a three year old to have all three of their grandparents gathered, but only be allowed to cuddle and have physical contact with one. It will be hard enough when they visit separately.

growstuff Thu 18-Jun-20 13:10:56

I really wish people would stop thinking in terms of "permission" and being denied something.

People are being protected for their own good and to attempt to stop the spread of infection.

In a six person meet up in a garden, there is still supposed to be social distancing. Personally, I can't think of anything worse than having a conversation in a group of people all sitting two metres apart, but each to their own.

If the child is running between all adults, there is a risk that s/he could be a carrier and pass infection on to all of them. I agree with Janipat. I would decline the invitation because it would be too confusing for a three year old.

Furret Thu 18-Jun-20 13:44:18

I’ll pass that on to my friend growstuff but in a slightly less abrasive manner.

BlueBelle Thu 18-Jun-20 13:53:49

Do whatever you want to do having watched Hancock put his arm on a fellow politicians shoulders yesterday and three of them stand shoulder to shoulder until one realised and stepped back I d say do absolutely anything you feel is right for you

Furret Thu 18-Jun-20 21:22:34

You could well be right!

Dollymc2 Thu 18-Jun-20 21:34:49

Hancock described people breaking social distancing as 'very selfish'
Look at him being all unselfish
I think that you have the rules right Furret
What a difficult set of circumstances

Dollymc2 Thu 18-Jun-20 21:37:14

I agree with you Bluebelle
Most of us have done our very best to stick with the rules and then you see this...

Grammaretto Thu 18-Jun-20 21:58:10

I agree it is quite complicated if you stick to the "rules"

Luckily the weather has been dry and warm all through April and May so we are quite used to sitting out in the garden and having lovely long chats with one or two friends and once with DD and DGD.

2 metres isn't very far apart. We have a small table in between and it works fine.

I wondered about the grandparents. When we were told one DGP could be in a bubble. What about the other one!
Recipe for disaster and jealousy.

I hope your friend sees the family but I find it easier not to get too excited and then you won't be disappointed.

Nannapat1 Fri 19-Jun-20 09:51:53

I agree with vampirequeen. Do your own risk assessment and go from there.

Harmonygranny Fri 19-Jun-20 10:04:02

We've witnessed the so called "rule makers" break their own guidelines time and again. Sometimes wonder if they know something we don't or are just arrogant enough to think it couldn't happen to them. I suppose though that Hancock might have antibodies and thinks he's now invincible? ?
As others have said above, it's up to each of us to make our own risk assessments with as much consideration to others as possible.

suttonJ Fri 19-Jun-20 10:15:18

Thinks....what would Dominic Cummings do?
Ah, I see. That's the answer.

Thecatshatontgemat Fri 19-Jun-20 10:17:07

Agree with growstuff.
Just use common sense!

sandelf Fri 19-Jun-20 11:00:55

How much are all these other people mixing? Are they religious hand washers or 'Oh it'll be OK' types? Are you in a high incidence area or very low? How prepared are you to catch covid 19? Here is the dashboard link. You can click on the LTLA tab to see your own locality.

Gingergirl Fri 19-Jun-20 11:06:00

Your interpretation is correct according to government advice. But aside from that, I feel that the no contact thing with very young children is so hard for them to understand so it may be that your friend might like to think again about how best to visit. We haven’t seen our family yet, who aren’t local, for this very reason but have recently come up with an idea that means it may be easier for the four year means we will see them for a short amount of time and not at our house ..,but something is better than nothing.

Lulubelle500 Fri 19-Jun-20 11:26:00

Growstuff: most sensible advice I've read for a while! People do behave as though the guidelines are designed to spoil everybody's fun instead of stop them getting sick themselves, then pass it on to someone very vulnerable. And if I read one more comment about not being able to hug a grandchild I shall begin to wonder if all the effort so many people are making is worth it! This is still a crisis, we have to put aside our own concerns to get through it.

3nanny6 Fri 19-Jun-20 11:26:25

Newest lockdown restrictions are a puzzle to me so I am trying to be sensible. My daughter with 3 grand-children lives alone although she has had difficulties with an ex-partner and has a health support worker. I live alone and my eldest daughter lives alone. Daughter with my grand-children is not coping and so eldest daughter has just recently taken 2 of the children to her home for an overnight sleepover, which the support worker said is good it will give the childrens mum a break. I have not been in daughters house since lockdown but I have been in there since the talk of the social bubble. I was in there this week as my daughter was emotional and not coping well and the support worker was due also. The support worker was there and did not discuss anything about the lockdown and I explained my reasons for being at the house and the worker said yes this is a difficult time for families and it is good your daughter has you as support. I have no contact with anyone coming into my home and still practice all the social distancing when out and about I do not know anything otherwise and will now carry on to be in social bubble of my daughter not sure if right or wrong.

Caro57 Fri 19-Jun-20 12:12:24

Use common sense - Very recently I saw my GCs for first time in ages. GD wanted to cuddle so I checked with DD and we did cuddle but I was careful and made sure our faces were in opposite directions i.e over the other's shoulder

Daftbag1 Fri 19-Jun-20 12:31:22

I've given up trying to make sense of it all. We continue to isolate due to personal choice, and with all the confusion, we will continue to do so until WE feel it right to change.

That said despite living in a close where I must s t be the only person under 70, we are the only household who don't receive non distancing visits from family. In fact we have avoided visits.

We're not at all sure what the best thing to do is.

Jellybean345 Fri 19-Jun-20 14:04:04

An idea !Why not all have the six of you playing game in the garden if that’s feasible ?A treasure hunt for example so that little one is distracted and won’t have chance to run to the other grandparents ?You could always pretend to run away as a game .The bubble family could hide various toys sweets all over the garden beforehand ,a bit like an Easter egg hunt for example, then when s /he had found it then say right we ll all sing a song , dance or say something funny whenever it’s been found.Maybe count to ten ready steady go too .
Then everyone’s happy even though no cuddle ?

Jellybean345 Fri 19-Jun-20 15:09:02

All this at a distance of course !

4allweknow Fri 19-Jun-20 15:57:26

Yes, you have it as at today. Hope the weather behaves for the occasion.

justwokeup Fri 19-Jun-20 16:53:35

Ooh, I've got it wrong then. I thought if other GP is in a bubble with your friend's D, SiL and GC, then your friends shouldn't be there as they are not part of the bubble. I know you can all go a sd walk in the park though so perhaps I'm wrong there. Anyway if one GP can get close to GC, and D and SiL don't want others to do that, I'd go on a different day.

Jellybean345 Fri 19-Jun-20 17:52:36

I read it that the 4 people in the closed bubble can still meet 2 others in another household outside,making it a 4/2 six ,the bubble of 4 can stay close together but distancing from household of the other 2 ,which is why I suggested in an earlier answer ,playing a game outside either in the park or garden ,the ‘bubbles”handling the toys or sweets for a treasure hunt for example,they can keep close together, the other two participating but keeping their distance .All six of you apart outside but interacting with GC keeping to the guidelines. Not the same as a cuddle but you could still have some distancing fun .Still difficult I agree
Yes good weather needed for this .
I hope you can work something out Furret just an idea .