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Coronavirus

New school term, risks for grandparents

(82 Posts)
Speldnan Tue 18-Aug-20 07:52:34

I see my grandchildren at least once a week. I’m worried now that they are soon going back to school (aged 8 and 4) whether it will be safe to still see them regularly. It seems inevitable that there will be outbreaks of coronavirus in schools and if children are asymptomatic it could be even more dangerous to be seeing them. I really don’t know what to do! I’ve been in a bubble with them so we’ve been interacting as normal up until now. What will other grandparents be doing?

harrigran Tue 18-Aug-20 11:12:00

I see in the news that there are new cases of the virus in a Scottish school, they have hardly been back a week. When all the schools are back we will almost certainly see a rise in cases.
I have seen my GC twice in the last six months, once was outside with no touching and the second time they came to my home but I had to feed them as they had been out all day and it was a long drive home.
Teenage GD is seeing friends and I have heard that younger one is allowed to play with her friends in the street so I am not sure about contact when they return from holiday.
Both GC have birthdays in the first week of September and the parents are having parcels delivered here so I am between a rock and a hard place.

Gwenisgreat1 Tue 18-Aug-20 11:25:45

The decision is will you feel emotionally better seeing the GC therefore helping your immune system? I think it's swings and roundabouts.

paddyanne Tue 18-Aug-20 11:36:14

the Scottish school cases are an odd one.The children only went back less than a week ago and some of them hadn't BEEN back at school at all .Obviously been caught not IN school but at home .My GD's schools have rigorous measures in place both in school and for dropping off and collection .The classes are let out at 5 minute intervals starting half an hour early and finishing half an hour later .So my GD starts at 8'45 and finishes at 2.45.Her older sister starts at 9.15 and finishes at at 3'15 and ther is 5 minutes between classes coming out.Parents have been told not to congregate at gates but to stay back or in their cars until their child appears .I just waved at my GD from the car and she walked across to us .

Lucca Tue 18-Aug-20 11:42:05

My British DGC live 70 miles away and I’m in a bubble with them. I hadn’t even considered stopping contact after they return to school. Not sure what I shall do, I don’t think it would do my mental health much good to just give up seeing them altogether for months on end.

SillyNanny321 Tue 18-Aug-20 11:44:09

I have decided that at 75 there is something ‘out there’ with my name on it. Whether it be the virus or something else I cannot just sit hidden away going not very slowly nuts! I have no hope of going back to the Volunteering that I did for 26 years before Lockdown but I am not spending my last few years not seeing my DGC! I have missed so much through Lockdown so will carry on being careful ( social distancing most people & masks) but will see & hug my family while I can! If this sounds selfish it is not it is my decision to see my DGC as much as possible before something with my name on grabs me!

trisher Tue 18-Aug-20 11:53:56

If my DGC passed the virus on to me and I was seriously ill or if I died my DGD woud be so concerned and guilty. She has in the last 4 years lost a much loved GGM and a GD, I wouldn't want her to have any more sorrow. I'm staying away for them as well as for me.

Marydoll Tue 18-Aug-20 11:56:22

Our main problem is not our four year old granddaughter, who has also been sheilding, but the selfish parents who crowd, push and shove at the school gates.

A primary school a couple of miles down the road has the first positive case in months here. That's very worrying.

Luckygirl Tue 18-Aug-20 11:59:28

I have not gone into a bubble with either of my local DDs precisely because their range of outside contacts is large. We see each other lots outside though.

I do think that the problem of spread will be exacerbated by the return to school and that it is wise for grandparents to be cautious in the family contacts once the children return.

Marydoll Tue 18-Aug-20 12:02:06

It appears that it is a pupil who has the virus and a team has gone into school to test everyone.

MayBee70 Tue 18-Aug-20 12:05:57

growstuff: DrJohn Campbell has done a couple of blogs re children and schools recently. His take on it is that children have always been spreaders of cold and flu and he sees no reason why their virus is any different. Also that under fives carry a huge viral load. What he did suggest is that, although children, thankfully don’t, in general suffer as bad with the virus they still, in many cases, show the same symptoms. So, in the morning before children go to school parents should take their temperature and also ask them to smell something eg coffee because children also get anosmia as a symptom. My daughter and her friends are driving their children to school because they don’t think the bus drivers will be able to police mask wearing on the buses. I still won’t be seeing any of my family indoors for the foreseeable future. However, if it was down to one of my children risking redundancy without my help then my maternal instinct would override concerns for my own personal safety. Thus far that hasn’t been the case.

MayBee70 Tue 18-Aug-20 12:06:24

this virus....

Summerstorm Tue 18-Aug-20 12:08:11

I’m in the shielding category, and up until lockdown looked after 2 of my dgc at least once a week after school, and another 3 on an adhoc basis when regular childminder was on holiday. I’ve seen the first 2 on a fairly regular basis (I’ve big garden& they live locally) but my son has made it very clear that I’ve not to think about it now that they are back at school. Maybe very distant garden visit once they see how things are settling at school. Managed to get a wee cuddle from my first great grandchild at the weekend. They live a fair distance and I really appreciated them making the trip with a week old baby to allow that to happen. I’m content to stay put in order to stop my family any extra worry about me getting I’ll. I just wish they could find a vaccine soon. I’m 74, heart problems and, with cancer that has already metastasised from bowels, to liver, and gall bladder. All dealt with successfully with various ops, and very strong chemo but it’s possibly raised its ugly head again. Dealing with that is bad enough without Covid on top

Kalu Tue 18-Aug-20 12:29:06

Exactly my thoughts re exacerbation Lucky. Also, DD and GDs telling us they couldn’t live with the guilt, possibly asymptotic and passing it on to us. Both 70 and DH is high risk

Another factor is the importance of getting children back into full time education, a priority for all to consider.

Nitpick48 Tue 18-Aug-20 12:31:25

We have two 4 year old GC and they totally accept that there are germs that can make granny and grandpa sick so they can’t get too near. We explained if they forget and get too near, we can just hold our hand up and that means “remember not to get too near”. They think it’s a great game seeing how near they can get before the hand goes up but they never sneak up.

EllanVannin Tue 18-Aug-20 12:35:29

It means that I won't be seeing my GGC---again. They'll be forgetting who I am !
Not only that, how long do ministers think we who are " older " are going to live ? I'm not saying I'm on borrowed time but you never know the minute.

Dancinggran Tue 18-Aug-20 12:57:55

I will continue to see my grandchildren as I look after them if mum is working in an evening, she is a single parent. I am in my '60's have worked full-time throughout the pandemic and am, fortunately, in good health.

growstuff Tue 18-Aug-20 13:06:28

Luckygirl and Maybee I don't have grandchildren, but if I did, I wouldn't go near them until we know how the situation works out and then I'd weigh up the risks. I did see one of the John Campbell videos about children. I've also watched the Independent Sage videos and read the DELVE report.

There are over 8 million school children who are due to go back to school in September. Up to now, they've been in limited circulation. Yes, I know some of them have been mixing, but not in groups of 30 cooped up together for five hours without social distancing in poorly ventilated rooms. Those are precisely the conditions people are told to avoid.

The test and track system is still not working efficiently, so there could be widespread transmission before anybody is even aware.

We just have no experience or accurate data on what will happen. It would be absolutely fantastic if transmission rates don't rise, but there are no guarantees.

Thisismyname1953 Tue 18-Aug-20 13:07:06

I’ve been having my dgd for 4 weeks of the summer holidays and I will also be having her as and when needed after her return to school . I have type 2 diabetes so should be shielding but life goes on. I’m at just as much risk by living with my daughter who is a nurse working with covid patients. Saying that there are less than 10 of them in the hospital at the moment .

growstuff Tue 18-Aug-20 13:11:06

EllanVannin

It means that I won't be seeing my GGC---again. They'll be forgetting who I am !
Not only that, how long do ministers think we who are " older " are going to live ? I'm not saying I'm on borrowed time but you never know the minute.

I don't take that much notice of what the government "tells" me to do.

However, I do take notice of real risks. If there's a chance I'm going to be in close contact with anybody if whatever age, I think very carefully about the chances that they could already be infected and be asymptomatic. I wouldn't trust all parents to check their children before school and not to send them, if it meant that they might have to lose a day's pay.

growstuff Tue 18-Aug-20 13:13:44

Thisismyname1953

I’ve been having my dgd for 4 weeks of the summer holidays and I will also be having her as and when needed after her return to school . I have type 2 diabetes so should be shielding but life goes on. I’m at just as much risk by living with my daughter who is a nurse working with covid patients. Saying that there are less than 10 of them in the hospital at the moment .

I'm a Type 2 diabetic with a history of heart disease and I was never told to shield - I was never on any official government list. Nevertheless, I chose to keep social contact to an absolute minimum (and still do).

BonnieBlooming Tue 18-Aug-20 13:23:09

One of my grandchildren is a ferry and 100 mile drive away and we have not seen him since December. He has just started school. I'm so conflicted about going to see them. We would be staying separately as they dont have room for us, and were we stay has plenty of outside space and is near beaches and forest walks. The other problem is the unpredictable weather! Our other grandchild is only 15 months and we see him indoors.

Taliya Tue 18-Aug-20 14:26:13

Children are asymptomatic and also they don't seem to pass the virus on. Its children who are teenagers that are more likely to pass the virus on to others not children under 11 apparently.

notgoneyet Tue 18-Aug-20 14:49:47

SillyNanny321

I have decided that at 75 there is something ‘out there’ with my name on it. Whether it be the virus or something else I cannot just sit hidden away going not very slowly nuts! I have no hope of going back to the Volunteering that I did for 26 years before Lockdown but I am not spending my last few years not seeing my DGC! I have missed so much through Lockdown so will carry on being careful ( social distancing most people & masks) but will see & hug my family while I can! If this sounds selfish it is not it is my decision to see my DGC as much as possible before something with my name on grabs me!

Totally with you on that Silly Nan. I thought it all over very seriously, and decided that for me, seeing my family including little greatgrandsons was more important to me; it quality of life over quantity.

Marydoll Tue 18-Aug-20 14:51:22

Not all children are asymptomatic.

Sar53 Tue 18-Aug-20 15:07:09

I am of the view that each family must decide for themselves as to how much risk they are prepared to take. This virus is not going anywhere for the foreseeable future so we have to learn to live with our own new normal.
I am going to stay with DD1 and 3 of my granddaughters tomorrow for 5 days. I haven't seen them for 6 months and I doubt I will see them again before Christmas.
I have seen DD2 and my other 2 granddaughters twice in the last 6 months.
DH and I are being sensible, have seen his daughters and grandchildren a few times, usually in the garden but life has to go on and we cannot stay isolated for ever.
Let us all hope that there isn't a second wave this winter.