Gransnet forums


Kissing as a standard social greeting. I hate it. Am I strange?

(95 Posts)
Frankie51 Mon 07-Sep-20 10:41:10

Am I the only person who is relieved not to have to greet complete strangers with a continental type greeting of hugs and air kisses as we now practice social distancing? .
I love to hug and kiss my family and my closest friends, but have never been comfortable kissing after business meetings or social events when I don't really know someone. I hate it. Am I too uptight?, My husband loves hugging and kidding everybody and can't understand my feelings. If I pull away and try to shake hands instead people tease me or act as if I am being rude. I met someone at a social event just before lock down who went to the same school as I did and we got chatting. When we left for home she and her partner both gave me big hugs and kisses, and she said, "thank goodness you're a hugger. I don't trust anyone who won't hug or kiss" I was actually very uncomfortable. I had a normal happy childhood, I'm not shy, I'm very confident and I enjoy company. I hope that kissing disappears after the pandemic as the form of greeting. Any one else feel the same?

inishowen Wed 09-Sep-20 15:19:08

I grew up with zero hugs or kisses. It wasn't that I wasn't loved, but my parents were very restrained. I find it so hard to let strangers or acquaintances touch me. Family only for me!

Caro57 Wed 09-Sep-20 15:27:42

Have always (Pre Covid) disliked New Year’s Eve parties for that very reason. Just because the clock strikes a certain time on a certain day everyone starts hugging and kissing - ugh!

Calendargirl Wed 09-Sep-20 15:34:31


I’ve never really bothered in the UK, though I do follow social customs with friends and relatives abroad. Pam Ayers has this to say about kissing, it sums up how I really feel.

Just watched this, Pam Ayers has it spot on, as always.

sparklingsilver28 Wed 09-Sep-20 15:35:50

Always been a bit iffy about people waiting to kiss and hug me. Certainly not something in my family growing up. When my grandsons came along, I was very uncomfortable if they attempted to lip kiss - definitely not right for small children to be encouraged to do this. Anyway, they are now 17 and 19 no more kissing but a lovely hug now and then much appreciated.

123kitty Wed 09-Sep-20 16:42:06

I've missed hugs and kisses with my family and friends. I dislike elbow bumps or a bow over prayer hands, they don't feel natural at all

4allweknow Wed 09-Sep-20 16:42:33

I only hug my immediate family members. One DiL deplores PDAs anyway. Perhaps Covid will break the hugging and kissing habit that's crept in.

grannybuy Wed 09-Sep-20 17:11:38

Hate it, except for young DGC. Drives me mad when (if )I watch chat shows and each person comes on and hugs everyone. They've all seen each other just two minutes beforehand!

Msmags Wed 09-Sep-20 19:18:55

I would add that I think kissing is the quick way to pick up the flue etc . I am relieved that it is no longer part of my social life ,one of my friends decided also to adopt the continental 2 cheek kiss I was so surprised our glasses entangled. So I prefer hugs for my lovely family but a friendly smile and attitude means everything to me .

CanadianGran Wed 09-Sep-20 19:43:54

So let's all stop!

4 pages on this thread with only a very few in favour of hugs/kisses!

Let's make a pact once Covid is over or lessened to stick out our hands and shake.

SunnySusie Wed 09-Sep-20 19:50:12

I never mastered hugging and kissing. Couldnt work out when, where or with whom it was appropriate. Invariably I was clumsy and awkward, then embarrassed. Pre-Covid I would give my daughter and her partner a spontaneous and genuine hug. My son is on the autistic spectrum, so I give him a hug and he stands stiff as a board with his hands at his sides! He tolerates it only because he knows I like it. Thats about as far as it goes with me. Not keen for hugging and kissing to be reinstated more widely.

Grandma70s Wed 09-Sep-20 20:03:08

Not much social hugging and kissing between grown-ups in our family. It simply doesn’t come naturally. When I was a little girl my father was quite given to cuddling me, but it stopped as soon as I hit puberty. I don’t remember my mother ever doing it. Yet I always felt loved, and totally secure. It just wasn’t expressed in that way.

Perhaps it won’t return when Covid is over. We can always hope.


Musicgirl Wed 09-Sep-20 22:03:49

I've never really liked hugging and kissing, I'm just not a very tactile person. I have quite a large personal space. It doesn't make me a colder, less passionate person; l express my feelings in other ways.

Kamiso Wed 09-Sep-20 22:53:00

Prior to lockdown a new member joined our coffee/ lunch group. She suddenly gave a beaming smile and said that the thing she liked most was not having to go through the hugging/kissing ritual and then wondering if you’ve hurt someone’s feelings by missing them out!!

I think it started in the 70s/80s. My MIL hated it and would go rigid. The middle DIL is part Italian and very huggy and kissy. Not a good combination!

Frankie51 Thu 10-Sep-20 06:57:52

So glad I'm not the only one. I like the idea of the Namaste greeting. My husband is from an Indian family and they do this. So much nicer. I don't mind hand shaking either. Maybe after the crisis is over we may go back to hand shaking.

Calendargirl Thu 10-Sep-20 07:04:43


So let's all stop!

4 pages on this thread with only a very few in favour of hugs/kisses!

Let's make a pact once Covid is over or lessened to stick out our hands and shake.

Yes, I agree. When all this is over, whenever that may be, ?‍♀️, I am determined to do the 3 s’s, Smile, Shake, Stand Back!

Boris is keen on snappy, three word catchphrases. Should I suggest this to him for future use?

Mamardoit Thu 10-Sep-20 07:19:55

I always hate being put in a situation where I end up hugging or kissing strangers. Now we know how unhealthy it is I will certainly not do it.

Washerwoman Thu 10-Sep-20 08:12:40

I feel just the same.Even my own mum who I love dearly has made me squirm over the years with her sloppy kisses and compulsory hugs.Now she is very old and frail I never leave without giving her a little hug and kissing the top of her head and telling her I love her.I know it means the world to her.But I have never liked anyone suddenly lunging for physical contact,and worse still making me feel I'm weird for not liking it.

Alexa Thu 10-Sep-20 18:43:42

The worst sort of hugging is that dreaded church ceremony when the minister tells everyone to do it. The next worst is when a relative who you know is not much interested in you gives you a big hug at the door when they arrive. One does not know what it means, if anything.

Shelagh6 Thu 10-Sep-20 22:43:22

No. You are not at all strange - Because of the EU, suddenly lots of people decided to behave like Europeans who do these silly things. I’ve seen it done 5/times in France! I prefer a hug with friends and a handshake with others or nothing.