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Kissing as a standard social greeting. I hate it. Am I strange?

(95 Posts)
Frankie51 Mon 07-Sep-20 10:41:10

Am I the only person who is relieved not to have to greet complete strangers with a continental type greeting of hugs and air kisses as we now practice social distancing? .
I love to hug and kiss my family and my closest friends, but have never been comfortable kissing after business meetings or social events when I don't really know someone. I hate it. Am I too uptight?, My husband loves hugging and kidding everybody and can't understand my feelings. If I pull away and try to shake hands instead people tease me or act as if I am being rude. I met someone at a social event just before lock down who went to the same school as I did and we got chatting. When we left for home she and her partner both gave me big hugs and kisses, and she said, "thank goodness you're a hugger. I don't trust anyone who won't hug or kiss" I was actually very uncomfortable. I had a normal happy childhood, I'm not shy, I'm very confident and I enjoy company. I hope that kissing disappears after the pandemic as the form of greeting. Any one else feel the same?

henetha Tue 08-Sep-20 10:21:04

I really like hugging, but not kissing. Seems unhygenic to me.

threexnanny Tue 08-Sep-20 14:53:21

OH has a male friend who likes to hug and kiss everybody. He is a widower and it has occurred to me that he likes to do it as that is only time anyone touches him.

PipandFinn Tue 08-Sep-20 17:57:47

Oh God No....Never hug or kiss ? anybody bar friends and family and sometimes that gets too much. My step-father always turns his head at the last second of an embrace and quick peck on the cheek and plants a horrible wet kiss on my lips - Disgusting.. !!!

Floradora9 Tue 08-Sep-20 22:08:54

My son told his wife to stop hugging and kissing us so much as we did not do that. She is from a different culture where three sided kissing in the norm . DH said it was a pity he had asked her to stop as he was enjoying it .

Elrel Tue 08-Sep-20 22:39:21

Namaste is fine although I do miss hugs from my grandchildren.

Mollygo Wed 09-Sep-20 10:00:22

I’ve never really bothered in the UK, though I do follow social customs with friends and relatives abroad. Pam Ayers has this to say about kissing, it sums up how I really feel.

omega1 Wed 09-Sep-20 10:03:41

Thank goodness coronavirus has put a stop to hugging and kissing as I don't like it either, but everybody else seems to or pretends to. I don't think we will go back to hugging and kissing for a long time either, thank goodness

djgmpg Wed 09-Sep-20 10:03:46

Me too! Family and close friends are fine. Love it from them. I particularly hate the ‘double cheek air kiss’. So pretentious and meaningless.

win Wed 09-Sep-20 10:24:03

I am with you too. I totally dislike all the hugging and kissing and thank goodness my partner does too. We are often the only ones people who do not hug and kiss when we attend our groups socially, they can feel we don't like it and of course we never instigate it either. I was brought up to shake everyones hand on entering and leaving a room and used to like that, now best not do any of that either, so just a wave and a hi will have to do for a long time to come.

Yangste1007 Wed 09-Sep-20 10:33:39

I have a Dutch sister in law and in Holland they do 3 sided cheek kisses as a greeting. I have always hated all this kissy kissy stuff and actually put the block on it about 2 years ago. I don't see why I should be made to feel uncomfortable and forced to do this by someone who at every opportunity runs down all things British. My family have never been a kissy and huge family. I have no recollection of my parents cuddling me.

nanasam Wed 09-Sep-20 10:40:10

I'm happy to hug and kiss my family and friends but in the past year or so I've begun to think 'why should I let a total stranger touch or kiss me?' Men don't hug and kiss each other when they are newly introduced so why should a stranger think he has the right to kiss me? When I'm introduced to a new person I straight away swerve to the side and hold out my hand for a handshake. It feels as if feminism has kicked in, after 72 years!

Beachwriter Wed 09-Sep-20 10:41:34

I suspect it came from american tv, along with OMG and Happy Dances. Americans can be quite emotional and sentimental in some ways and absolutely ruthless in others. I prefer the British style of only giving away the subtlest hints of what is felt. Those who can read me like a book. And I am much more relaxed not having to pretend affection when I ‘ve only just found out someone’s name.

sandelf Wed 09-Sep-20 11:00:39

ABSOLUTLY! Never was at ease with it - and the number of so called friends who have overdone it and thrown in a bit of a grope too!!! Its OK if I know you really well and it is a Very Significant Occasion - otherwise a little wave and smile will do fine.

Nagmad2016 Wed 09-Sep-20 11:00:46

I think a lot of British people are more reserved about who they hug and kiss. In our parents day, it was rarely done outside (or inside for that matter) the family. Since my bi-lateral mastectomy I have been wearing prosthetic breasts and I am very conscious of someone hugging me and feeling the prostheses, so I avoid tight hugging and more often than not just give a pat on the shoulder, like my horses!!

Kartush Wed 09-Sep-20 11:16:10

I dont like people Not of my choosing in my personal Space so random hugging is not my thing.

grandtanteJE65 Wed 09-Sep-20 11:42:26

As far as I remember kissing on the cheek came in in the 1970s, hugging was mid-1980s, I think.

Having spent a lot of time in Spain I don't mind kissing on the cheeks, but am less keen on hugging.

Before the mid 1970s Danes shook hands ALL THE TIME, not just when you were introduced but going home from a party, saying good night, thank you for a present or congratulating people or saying thank you for a meal.

Boys bowed when shaking hands, girls curtsied until they were out of school. A lot of men bowed when shaking hands with a woman.

All that went out when kissing came in, along with the formal pronoun. Much regretted by me, I don't care to be on informal terms with my gynaecologist, dentist, etc.

leeds22 Wed 09-Sep-20 12:05:28

Really hated all the kissing and hugging business. At least one good thing to come out of the epidemic. Hope the craze has died for good now. I understand from French twinning friends that even they don't like having to do the morning hugging and kissing palaver with everyone - including people they don't really like.

Jaye53 Wed 09-Sep-20 12:11:21

silly nonsense all that kissing and hugging strangers and so glad Covid has put a stop to it.

mumstheword86 Wed 09-Sep-20 12:14:23

I think the banging of elbows does just nicely now am very happy this has become the norm xx

Saggi Wed 09-Sep-20 12:44:58

100% hate it! Where did it all come from? And look at the results...illness. I too had normal loving , cuddly upringing but it’s now got ridiculous... expected to hug people you’ve only just met. I hope we’ve all learnt our lessons.

Saggi Wed 09-Sep-20 12:48:54

...and, Nanasam...never too late to practice feminism.

Blossoming Wed 09-Sep-20 12:50:39

I don’t know anybody that does this. I’m obviously too working class grin

Cumnock Wed 09-Sep-20 13:01:41

When I was a child my mother did not agree with us giving kisses to relatives when they were going home as her sister had diphtheria as a child . However when someone is very ill or distressed a hug can say so much more than words.

Carol70 Wed 09-Sep-20 14:20:24

I have been retired for 15 years but in my working days it used to really annoy me when a male colleague would greet me with a hug when a male would have been greeted with a handshake. That would have been my preferred greeting. Lockdown has been a great release from unwanted hugs - except with my family, I share lots of hugs with them.

Greciangirl Wed 09-Sep-20 14:47:09

I feel uncomfortable kissing and hugging anyone, including my own family.

I put it down to a lack of affection and love during my childhood. So it doesn’t come naturally to me.