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Visiting my grandson

(69 Posts)
weeshamrock Wed 23-Sep-20 14:35:53

Am due to visit my 11month old grandson tomorrow and stay for a few days. Have only seen him once this year. My daughter rang this morning to say he has a cold. The drive takes four hours. She wanted me to have the choice of wether to go or not as it is only a cold. My husband and I stay at home mostly and are both well with no health conditions. I am a quandry and would be grateful for other peoples ideas and thoughts.

Oldbat1 Thu 24-Sep-20 10:13:35

My GP neighbour couldn’t tell if their 3yr old daughter had a cold or COVID. They managed to eventually after two days to get a test in Scotland but live in England. It was 100miles round trip. So even medics can’t say what is a cold and what is COVID as children present differently. Test came back as negative the next day.

MrsRochester Thu 24-Sep-20 10:14:33


Saw this today. Could be useful, but not definitive!

Doesn’t apply to young children unfortunately . They have a huge array of symptoms that adults don’t suffer.

Danma Thu 24-Sep-20 10:19:22

If you’re not normally frightened of catching a cold, then go. It might be your last opportunity for a while.

Enjoy your visit

Matelda Thu 24-Sep-20 10:19:27

Matt Hancock said on Sky News this morning that if you have an established contact in England and no extra restrictions you can see them in their house. I think he was referring to lovers, but I assume it also applies to people already sharing a support bubble. People living alone are going to find this a long hard winter if they cannot enter other people's houses at all.

Nannan2 Thu 24-Sep-20 10:37:25

My daughter got tests for them when my GD had developed a cough&cold after being back at school a couple of wks, as she said, theres no rule to say someone can't have a cold virus AND a covid virus at the same time- quite true, but i hadn't considered that before.?

Craftycat Thu 24-Sep-20 10:42:30

It's a cold. Kids get them a lot. Go & meet your new Grandson but if it makes you feel better wear a mask. At that age he won't even notice.

nipsmum Thu 24-Sep-20 10:49:42

So many ifs, ands and buts. Make up your own mind what's important. Covid is going to be around for a while. Do you want or need to put your life on hold for the next year or more. You decide.

GrannyLondon Thu 24-Sep-20 10:55:49

Why don't you wait until he is better and then go? I don't think wearing a mask will protect you, but will protect him & your daughter's family.

Mollygo Thu 24-Sep-20 11:04:38

In the end you’ll make up your own mind, but since you’ve asked, don’t go. 4 hours away. Will you go by car? Will you need to stop? How would you feel if your family or yourselves become ill with Covid soon after your visit? What are the rules near where they or you live?

Cs783 Thu 24-Sep-20 11:19:55

weeshamrock glad you’ve decided on your way forward and what a lovely response you’ve given to posters here. All the best.

Venus Thu 24-Sep-20 11:24:16

Of course go. It's unlikely that you have covid and all you risk is catching your grandson's cold. This virus situation could go on easily for a further year, so if you have a chance of seeing your family, then I would.

Just be careful on the journey. Maybe take sandwiches and drink with you so you don't need to stop off. Toilet facilities are another matter but perhaps chose a nice hotel to visit for that and not a motorway stop off?

JulieK59 Thu 24-Sep-20 11:31:40

If you're not under local lockdown ( as we are in Birmingham at the moment ) then it's fine. Do it while you can!!

Greyjoy1953 Thu 24-Sep-20 11:36:23

I agree go, if you feel awkward wear a mask. My grandchildren have gone back to school and needless to say I have had the COLD, along with most other grandparents and parents. there is a big difference and you never know when you will get to see them again, so in my opinion I would go. Have a great time while you can

GoldenAge Thu 24-Sep-20 11:41:29

I would go - there are lots of colds going around right now - you may not see him for years at this rate - of course it’s up to you but you can do the drive sensibly with your own picnic and a toilet stop without touching anything at all in the loos - this is perfectly doable - mental health is at rock bottom in the nation right now and I’d you have a glimmer of enjoyment through family contact carefully organised it makes more sense to opt for that in my opinion. You can still have your cleaner in your home even though there might be six people in it st the same time - the cleaner is working and allowed to do that and does not have to displace on sixth of the family members - we all need to be sensible here and use our brains.

kevincharley Thu 24-Sep-20 11:41:53

No. If more people keep themselves away from others the more chance we have of the country opening up again.
So many people are looking for excuses to break the advice of staying away from other people as much as possible.
Even if the child only has a cold the parents may be carriers. People who have visited their home may be carriers.
Do you want to take the risk? Do you really want to be one of the people in a chain that may cause a death?
Stay home.

polnan Thu 24-Sep-20 12:19:20

the four hour drive would decide me.

looking at the comparative list earlier, seems "fever" is the main sympton to be aware of..

I remain confused as to what we can do and what we can`t do!

I am not good in the "panic" department, living alone for the first time in my life I am having to learn to change/adjust..
not a good place,, and then , of course, I am of an age... but then of course, it is about others , not about ourselves...

so many ifs and buts, and whatevers....

apologies, of course, we all have to make our own decisions

sandelf Thu 24-Sep-20 12:45:32

Have you isolated for the past couple of weeks? It's not you I'd worry about it's him and them.

Illte Thu 24-Sep-20 12:57:46

I think the OP has made a good decision. Covid in young children can present as just a cold.

The virus spreads through contact. That's the bottom line. Yes people will make their own decisions on their own risk. It's spreading the risk that they don't seem to understand.

Stop off at a nice hotel? Use the toilet there. Spread the risk to all the people in the hotel. Off they go, back home to work and family and shopping.

Is infection spread so hard to understand ?

WOODMOUSE49 Thu 24-Sep-20 13:08:51


Well not much sleep tonight 3.30am. Miss my little grandson only seen him once this year. However had a long chat with my daughter this evening and we both decided to leave it for a few days see how little man is doing. When he is better we will visit and watch that his mum and dad dont catch his cold. My daughter is wise like me she wont risk anything. I thank all of you for the good company and wise words just what I needed today. There is a lot if good people too in the world keep safe. Love and light thankyou for your responses xxx

Very wise decision weeshamrock

Someone's comment here is "Life is too short. Go for it." In your situation, I wouldn't go for it. Why shorten your life by possibly picking up the virus.

You deserve lots of visits to see your grandson not just the one.

Susieq62 Thu 24-Sep-20 13:39:59

Can you go but stay in a local hotel ? We are not allowed in anyone’s house or garden apart from my daughter who is in our bubble. A cold is one thing but it could debilitate you in terms of immunity and coping with other issues.
It is so hard when we miss seeing family. Stay safe

Sillyoldfool Thu 24-Sep-20 14:04:07

Covid is not going to disappear any time soon. You can run but you can’t hide from it. See your grandson.

Mohum Thu 24-Sep-20 14:10:42

I went when mine had colds and caught a stinker then passed it to my husband who is really suffering. It was worth it though and I can still go to provide essential childcare when required.

Sadgrandma Thu 24-Sep-20 14:19:33

Children get lots of colds in their early years so this will be the first of many. I would go as I fear we may be in for another lockdown and you may not get another chance for a long time.

Pollypa Thu 24-Sep-20 14:31:11

We live in Scotland and we were

to have our 2 1/2 year old greatgrandson this weekend for a few days whom we haven't seen for 7 months. Today we have weighed up the 'risks' etc. and concluded that after shielding for many months and not seeing anyone, the risk will be worth it. Spring ( if things do indeed sattle down by then) is a long way off and a lot can happen in between. After all we are not getting any younger.

Pollypa Thu 24-Sep-20 14:35:44

That is exactly what we have concluded.