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Who would you let into the house

(76 Posts)
morethan2 Tue 03-Nov-20 13:45:58

Last week in the late evening my son knocked on my door in distressed state. We let him in. An hour later a neighbour who been in a equally distressed state since his wife died last year knocked on the door very upset. So we invited him in. We’d told him if he ever needed us to knock but he never had until that night. When they left my husband turned to me and said “ I think we might have broken the rules” At the time I’d never even given this lockdown a thought. I was just worried about both of them. Honestly I don’t think even if I’d have remembered the rules I could have turned either of them away. It’s yet another dilemma. The possibility is that it could happen again. (Hopefully not two people crying on the same night)
What would you do?

Esspee Tue 03-Nov-20 13:51:18

Again may I suggest the mantra “What would Dominic Cummings do.”

Personally I would never turn away anyone in distress.

NfkDumpling Tue 03-Nov-20 13:58:27

Exactly Esspee.

MissAdventure Tue 03-Nov-20 14:04:57

I'd let in anyone who genuinely needed help, or a chat.
I catch the bus almost every day with all and sundry, half of whom must be exempt from wearing a mask, so the more the merrier, I suppose.
I'm resigned to the idea that I'll get corona at some point.

BlueBelle Tue 03-Nov-20 14:10:18

Their mental health would come first you did the right thing what if you turned your neighbour away then you heard he’d harmed himself you d never be able to live with that would you ?
missadventure you and me both I use the bus regularly I m in a shop with people wanting items or information

silverlining48 Tue 03-Nov-20 14:14:28

Morethan you could have done nothing else and I would have done the same. flowers
Miss A please take care. shamrock

Chewbacca Tue 03-Nov-20 14:17:53

Humanity and empathy is more important now than ever morethan2; I believe you did what any compassionate human being would have done.

LauraNorder Tue 03-Nov-20 14:21:33

It would be impossible to turn away anyone in distress but particularly a son and a close neighbour. You did what any compassionate human being would do. The sad thing is that we then would wait 14 days before knowing if an act of kindness has given us the virus.
I suppose the only way to protect ourselves and others from the virus in this situation would be to always answer the door wearing a mask with a spare one in hand for the caller, Distance would be difficult if they need a hug but as long as no face to face closeness it would be safer to then step back and keep some distance. Afterwards wash hands and disinfect door handles and other areas.
This all sounds very mercenary but we do need to be aware that the virus doesn’t care who is distressed or who is trying to comfort.
In my opinion you did the right thing, hope you did take precautions but if not you’ll be better prepared another time.
Hope your son is okay now.

MissAdventure Tue 03-Nov-20 14:22:58

Believe me, I'm taking all the care I can, silverlining.
It ain't me; it's the others! smile

Teetime Tue 03-Nov-20 14:23:36

Yes I would have done the same. In the first lockdown my neighbour came rushing across the road to me with a chocking child in her arms I pulled them both in turned the child upside down and 'thumped' her back. Didn't think twice its a natural response to help others in need unless you normally 'pass by on the other side' I suppose.

Woodmouse Tue 03-Nov-20 14:26:41

Someone in emotional distress would definitely be let into my home. I would never put the Lockdown rules before helping someone who genuinely needed help. You did the right thing.

allium Tue 03-Nov-20 14:28:22

I would have done the same.

Oopsadaisy4 Tue 03-Nov-20 15:51:41

We did it recently, our very distressed elderly neighbour came to the door crying, he had become confused, thought it was morning and had dressed himself, realised what he had done tried to get undressed but he couldn’t get the tight jumper over his head, poor old thing it was really stuck, brought him indoors gave him a drink and helped him to get it off, it was extremely tight.
Then I took him back home.
Shouldn’t have done it as he had so many carers in and out, and no mask but what else could I do?

MissAdventure Tue 03-Nov-20 15:57:35

I have stopped my neighbours from popping into mine to tell me what their budgies have been doing, and every detail of their grandchildren"s stays.

Now they've teamed up together, so they can get on each others' wicks.

welbeck Tue 03-Nov-20 15:59:31

alternatively have gone for a walk with the neighbour and left son inside with husband, or vice versa.
maybe go get a take away coffee if near enough and open. or just walk round block and back to his house. arrange to go for walk next day. keep in touch.

petra Tue 03-Nov-20 16:00:12

I've been supporting a very vunarable neighbour with mental health issues from day one. I will continue to do so including having her for Sunday roast every week.
And if my daughter has a melt down as she did in March I will be at her house as well.
Bring on the covid police ?

AGAA4 Tue 03-Nov-20 16:04:51

Anyone in distress needs looking after. I hope we never become a nation that turns people away because of rules. How callous that would be.

Barmeyoldbat Tue 03-Nov-20 16:12:36

I would have done the same, how on earth can you turn a distressed person away.

DiscoDancer1975 Tue 03-Nov-20 16:51:27

We’re only tier one until Thursday. I’m assuming you’re three? I’d definitely not have turned my child away. I might have talked at a distance on the doorstep with the neighbour. Our neighbour opposite lost his wife last year. He’s on his own, and never seems to go out. His son has been round periodically. I would probably have asked him in because he’s already very isolated. Difficult to know for sure until faced with it.

sodapop Tue 03-Nov-20 17:04:26

Definitely agree with your comment AGAA4

petra Tue 03-Nov-20 17:07:57

You may as well not bother talked at a distance on doorstep
When all they need is a hug and to hug in return.
Jesus. What have we come to when people think this is an ok way to comfort people in distress.

M0nica Tue 03-Nov-20 17:13:16

You are allowed to break the rules to help someone in need of care or support.

Kittye Tue 03-Nov-20 17:34:22

morethan I would have done the same. There’s no way I could have turned them away

Franbern Tue 03-Nov-20 17:44:47

Absolutely - as most on here have said humanity and compassion must always come first.

Many years back - long before mobile phones, one summer Sunday evening about 9.30 pm, I was sort of alone in the house (five small children all asleep in bed) my hubbie had gone out to drive my parents back home. ring at front door bell.
On my porch two young boys/men) maybe 16/17 yrs old both taller and bigger than me. Asked if they could use our phone to contact one of their parents. They claimed they had been chased by a gang and were terrified.
All thoughts chased through my mind - I could visualise myself telling the police that I had let these two men into my house, then I thought if it were true and it was one mine in some future date. Anyway, I made them stay on the porch and took the phone number from them and went inside and rang it. And, it was all true -they had not told their parents where they were going, got a bus and as they a got off at the terminal locally, which was close to forestland, this gang had chased them. They had run down the nearest road, very frightened, ringing bells of anywhere they saw with a light on. However that road mainly had very nice flats occupied by older folk who did not answer their doors at that time of night. They had turned into my road and I was the first door that had been answered.
The parents drove over to pick them up and to tell them off. By that time my hubbie was back home = but I am so grateful that I did responds to them.

varian Tue 03-Nov-20 17:47:42

Most folk are decent folk, but in that instance you were right to be suspicious Franbern