Who would you let into the house

Harrigan
Your fortunate that you've never been with someone in a severe panic attack. Believe me, the last thing they're thinking about is who to phone.
As my dear neighbour didn't when he was found wandering in the middle of the night and sectioned that day.

I'm probably going to get slain for this - you know, new girl on the block, who does she think she is? etc, but can we stop picking on any one poster, in this case Discodancer, or dissing each others posts because it is not how we think, Petraeus, Hetty.

Writing a post is one-dimensional, we cannot hear the inflections of speech, nor see the body language, so we each interpret it our own way, which may not be the poster's intention. We are not all skilled wordsmiths to get our point across successfully.

By all means we must express our own opinions, but we do not need to slate each others. No one is right, and no one is wrong. The OP wants opinions so that they can weigh up the pros and cons, not so that they find themselves in the middle of an acrimonious exchange.

This applies to many threads, not just this one.

Please let me know my excommunication date!

Sorry, that's Petra not Petraeus

Unigran
You post what you want. As I will carry on doing until HQ tells me otherwise.

Sometimes mental health needs over take Covid

Thank you Unigran, that was very kind. I always try to make allowances for different points of view, and as you say, it is hard on here because even when you know someone, reading text can be misleading. My kids have often said this in regard to texting their friends. Also, at the moment, emotions are understandably strained. Although Hetty gave a completely different view, I found it reassuring, that not everyone feels exactly the same. You sound like a very compassionate person, and I’ve picked that up from one post. Thank you again.

Unigran please don’t go.

In answer to thread title ....Richard Gere.

Ok, how many here if faced with a distressed adult offspring on the doorstep would step outside to chat, keeping a distance from them presumably?

Honestly what nonsense.
If one of mine turned up like that, lockdown or no lockdown, they would be taken inside, given a big hug then I would sit them down to find out what was up.

That should not be a controversial thing to say.

Lucca
Love it ? Giving the question some thought it would be James Martin: lovely to look at and useful. Two for one.

I'd let my heart rule but try to keep my Covid brain in gear as best I could for all concerned. NOT easy.

Absolutely agree with you Unigran4 but unfortunately it goes on all the time. No thread is immune and often kills any discussion dead. Sad really.

I find all these rules complicated. I am 97 live alone, housebound because of mobility problem. My carer/ help comes for an hour each morning. All my shopping is done on line.
Since March my seventy one year son who lives a four hour car journey away and has a heart problem has been able to come on two occasions and take me out for a drive and a walk in my wheelchair. The only other person to enter my home has been the District nurse.
It is a lonely life. I think things would improve if careless young people didn’t break the rules.

25Avalon : still here, but laying low!

King James Version Hebrews 13;2

'*Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.*'

My dear father, himself a very poor man in terms of money, always fed the Homeless man who would wander into our village twice a year. He also tried to help take care of his feet. Others would scoff and look down on them, the 'Vaigrant' and my Father. My Father also helped the annual arrival of the Gypsies move their wagons up the muddy slopes into the field with his tractor. Once, as he did it on the cab-less old tractor of the 1950s, a passing woman said, "I don't know why you help those dirty people stay here." My Father said "Madam, I would rather eat my dinner from the floor of one of these people's caravans than from your dining table, any day." Gypsies are very house proud and clean people, They also have very high morals.

All that said, I hope I could follow St Paul's teaching above. I know that today we must have common sense, not all strangers mean us well. Those, like me who are old and live alone would be unwise to let a total stranger into our home. However, were a person in need to come to my door, I pray that God will guide me to do the right thing and I shall never turn away a brother or sister in need. The covid rules would not be a problem to me, God would find a way.

Bijou.
It's not ideal, is it?

morethan2 knowing what you, your DS and the rest of the family went through this year of course you should have let your DS in, and given him a big hug! I can also relate to what happened with your neighbour as in the first lockdown my elderly neighbour who besides other disabilities is partially blind rang my doorbell very upset. We finally realized her freezer had broken down and all the food in it which she had in defrosted. My OH and I took her back home, cleared up the mess and the next day managed to order her a new freezer online.
Since the first lockdown I have been diagnosed with blood cancer and am now on Chemo which obviously leaves me more vulnerable but with precautions I would still help those in need.

I have a similar dilemma.
My partners brother has split up acrimoniously with his girlfriend and he has invited him to stay with us.
I feel very uneasy what with Covid.

But feel bad if I say no.
Anyway, they are on their way, so too late, but I’m not happy about it.
Don’t mind helping out and would always help someone in need of it.

JenniferEccles I totally agree with your post. I could not stand by and not bring one of my adult children into the house if they appeared on the doorstep very upset. What kind of a mother would I be if I left them standing there? And a hug. We’ve lived without any physical contact with our children or my elderly mother all these months. My son was upset on Saturday, he was upset about the coming lockdown again. The last one we only saw him only on FaceTime for three months, but finally we saw him in the garden - no touching though, and no touching our grandson who was then only seven years old. So on Saturday as he was leaving, and clearly very down in spirits, I hugged him, and kissed the back of his neck, no facial contact. He might be early forties, but he’s my baby. I sent the love of his mother with him as he left, knowing he won’t see us again until December.

You did the right thing. I would have let them in. Sadly many people are becoming COVID police and wanting to (and in some cases do!) report neighbours etc., whereas nobody wants anyone to break the rules, there are exceptions as in your case. We all want nice neighbours which you are one by the sounds of it.

The answer to morethan2 is that you did the right thing. We must never let Covid turn us into selfish people, only caring about ourselves and our own well being. A caring mother would never allow her distressed child to stand on her doorstep and not try to alleviate the pain.

You also did the right thing with your neighbour, please let’s never allow Covid to destroy our humanity.

It’s important not to lose our humanity during the pandemic, so you did exactly the right thing in following your instinct to help and support them.

Self last, others first. That’s how I was brought up.

You are allowed to let tradesmen, electricians, cleaners etc into your house, so, as long as you keep your distance if someone is distressed it may be ok, but hard not to want to hug them, especially your son. If my child came knocking at my door in distress, I would not speak to her on the doorstep, I would let her in and comfort her. Even if it meant we had to self isolate for two weeks afterwards.

Bijou
If by chance you live in the Southend area I'll come and visit you.