Mixed messages to grandchildren

Think about it. Lead by example. You are doing the 'right thing', even when it is uncomfortable. A valuable lesson for our grandchildren. Apart from the fact of course that they are all walking petri dishes anyway and who in their right mind would put their lives at risk? We all love our grandchildren but common sense must prevail. The hospitals are already struggling, it is selfish to make that situation worse by taking needless risks.

I don't know why you are vulnerable but it might be worth telling your DGC that the bug is worse for some people than for others and it is a great pity but you are among the people for whom it would be worse and it might make you very poorly. Then focus on how the vaccine will make such a difference.
Just before the first lockdown my DGS, aged 7, asked if I could knit some nets to catch the bugs!

Our beautiful little grandsons must be confused as the other grandparents have bent the rules from the start and we haven't! Very worrying as their live-in daughter has just recovered from Covid and they have health problems. Trouble is my son-in-law is also prepared to bend the rules so my daughter doesn't stand a chance. We will not be seeing them at Christmas as they will be mixing with the other grandparents and it's too risky, even though we have no known health issues. My daughter is worried but her husband doesn't think there's much to worry about!

My daughter in law’s family don’t stick to the rules as rigidly as mine. My grandchildren have said they don’t think we care about them because we don’t visit them at home. Nothing could be further from the truth. I pick them up from school if their parents are working and see them for childcare (as I do for my other grandchildren - this is permitted in scotland). It deeply upsets me the psychological damage this pandemic is causing to everyone.

I worry that my grandchildren think I don’t love them as much as family members that have continued to socialise with them throughout the pandemic. We’re just doing everything we can to protect ourselves and others.

annehinkley Bless your DGS, and I hope you've knitted lots of nets by now. I love the logic of children don't you. I will use your advice next time I speak to our grandchildren. Lots of good advice here from everyone so thank you all.

I was very relaxed about everything to do with Covid until my young, fit and healthy daughter caught it at work. She was so ill and my DH and I feared for her life. My GC understand that some grandparents are more vulnerable than others, but they are eight.

Speaking to the GC just emphasise that the advice on Covid is you should not meet up. A 13 year old should certainly be aware and understand all the advice given out about mixing with adults, especially if there are health issues. If possible use technology to keep in touch especially Christmas Day. You have to protect yourself, regardless of what others are doing and saying. Enjoy your Christmas knowing you are doing your best to stay as well as possible.

Lots of things are upsetting nowadays. Understand thats where we are. Many in worse situations. Everyone has their own level of comfort. Fortunately they are expressing a desire to see you. Others are being denied. Express excitement in seeing them soon, not disappointment. Rejection is more painful than doing the rejecting.

I haven't had my 3 grandchildren over to my house since the beginning of the year. We are shielding due to DHs health condition plus he is 10 years older than me so I am trying to protect him. We won't be sharing Christmas with them either. However I have seen them once a week by meeting up in the park outside school wearing a mask and not getting too close. The 2 older boys finish school earlier than their younger sister so I take a flask of hot chocolate and some biscuits and we wait for their mum (DD) to arrive to collect the little one. They also see other family members who are not as strict about the rules as I am. But I'm pleased to say my 2 grandsons do understand the rules despite what their parents do. They told me they listen to the news every day in school and know all about covid. My youngest granddaughter is always pleased to see me and is none the wiser! Your GC may also understand whats going on and even if they don't they won't blame you for not being around as much as other family members, they'll just be happy to see you when they can.

I was thinking about GCs who are aware of all the rules and who will be thinking of how they can best protect you. My 8 year old GD certainly knows there are things you are supposed not to do. I wouldn't worry about them not understanding they are far more likely to question the attitude the others are taking. You will be seen as the people who do the right thing, something children actually appreciate and understand. The parents and other GPs are actually storing up trouble for themselves. You can't break some rules and then tell a thirteen year old they have to stick to others.
Try not to be upset. It is hard not to see them, but I think they will have more love and respect for you because you stuck to the rules.