ForeverAutumn - so sorry to hear that.
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Coronavirus Christmas - oops I may have seriously upset SiL!
(156 Posts)Xmas eve DH's, DS turned up with Xmas gifts (and that's another story), she's single, late sixties but still working and because we live close, we are her bubble. Anyway, she was due on 25th for lunch so I was a little surprised to see her but tum te tum, she's a bit like that.
Anyway, I made her a cuppa and we sat down for a chat, during which she informed me that before coming to us, she was going to see her neighbours on either side, then one daughter for a mince pie, before going to the other daughter's for present exchanging. I thought she was planning to doorstep them all but as she spoke, it became clearer that she was actually going in to all these places.
I expressed my surprise and concern, as we are a Tier 4 area, and in addition we are meant to be her bubble. At this she laughed saying 'im a poor vulnerable old lady and entitled to my bubble's'! I explained that she could only have one bubble, and that she needed to make a choice. I also pointed out that she would not be able to get to all these places and be back for lunch. 'Oh but you will wait for me'!
I'm afraid at that point, I decided enough was enough, and politely told her that I was withdrawing her invitation for Xmas lunch and that I wasn't prepared to risk having her round and placing us at risk. I also suggested that she might want to take a minute to read the rules.
Sadly, I suspect that she is not alone in continuing to live without any concern about who she is placing at risk. She is an intelligent woman, and yet she behaves in this way. The worst of it all, is that I'm now feeling guilty!
Your response was exactly right, DaftBag. It’s the only way to beat this virus (until we’re all vaccinated).
Oh ForeverAutumn that’s heartbreaking for you. x
I hope your husband gets better on his treatment. What a worry for you and it seems so unfair after you’ve both been so careful too.
You did the right thing. Her behaviour is reckless. My husband was admitted to Hospital on 6th December with fluid around his heart and a lung infection. He has hardly been anywhere since October as he has an Achilles tendon injury, was told to rest it and we are generally cautious. On admittance he was tested Negative for Covid, his repeat tests were Negative. On the day that he was to be discharged a week later , after successful treatment, we were told that he couldn't come home because there was an outbreak of Covid in the Hospital. At the test 2 days later he was positive. It has been a complete nightmare since then, he has worsening symptoms and yesterday he developed Covid Pneumonia, and is on oxygen constantly. I have been in tears on and off for a few days now, all the while trying to impart positivity to family and friends. We had not been in anyone else's hone - whether friends or family, we are both retired and have generally been very careful with our health. All this and my husband catches this disease in the place that most people consider 'safe', although I suppose Hospitals are where the sick people are. He wasn't home for Christmas, and he will now have a long recovery.
Dr Andrew Lansdown, a consultant endocrinologist at the University Hospital of Wales in Cardiff, was speaking on BBC Radio Five Live Breakfast on Monday, the day after Cardiff and Vale Health Board made an urgent appeal for help in intensive care.
Actions have consequences.
Definitely you did the right thing Daftbag. Brave of you too as it involved a family member.
It isn’t just the ‘irresponsible young ‘uns’ mixing & disregarding the rules. I think many over 60y are at it.
A friend in Wales rang me on Christmas Eve. Her neighbour aged 62y had invited his partner over to stay ‘for Christmas ‘ ie not just the one day. And also another friend with her daughter were joining them ... from London!
I said to my friend I thought Mr Drakeford would be at the border with a pitchfork!
Anyway, she’s keeping her distance although isn’t reporting her neighbour as she said once they’ve all gone home (this weekend - after NYD!) she doesn’t want any awkwardness.
I think there’s more of this going on than we like to acknowledge - in ALL age groups.
I think what sass1 says is sensible. There is no self righteousness in what she writes - just concern, kindness and common sense. Lockdowns don’t seem to work and cause devastation to so many jobs. If you can find any article on the subject of Covid by Jonathan Sumption, it might give an interesting and rational perspective on our present situation. Don’t get me wrong - I have been careful in spite of contracting Covid in March and recovering after quite a long time. Therefore, I feel safer and am not fearful. Roll on the vaccine- it will be the only way out - goodness knows how much damage has been done to our lives and economy- I am fearful of that.
My DD is single and spends lots of time in different people's houses. Unfortunately, as she is a paramedic she has no choice.
Taliya she would like nothing better than to be able to be home on her own. I can't believe you think having social contact is more important than keeping yourself and everybody else safe and well.
Daftbag you are right. Well done for taking a stand. I, too, have had to put up with snide comments from friends and even family since March implying dh and I are 'being ridiculous' and 'taking it too far'.
It doesnt sound like the OP's SiL was going to be lonely on xmas day does it? And im sure the 'mince pie' could have been extended to a bit of lunch, to fill the gap.And she seems to have had more company than OP and her husband. So i shouldnt worry over her too much.?
Well done to you i say for standing up to her! I would no longer want to be in her bubble either! I have a cleaner, as i can no longer stand and do floors, and she mentioned one of her other clients had cancelled as she was 'going down south to see her family' (before xmas) and she usually goes often apparently- i was wary of having cleaner in my house if she'd been to hers- but as shes not been to that client for over 2 weeks im still letting her come to mine- but next time im not so sure. Its other fools that are endangering everyone, not just themselves.why cant they see that??
Daftbag1, Hetty and all the others, take a look at today's tally of new infections, and KNOW that you were correct to keep you and your family safe.
You did the right thing,thank goodness as now you are safer———post Covid I think people will be re-evaluating some friendships,I never realized how selfish some people are as a retired health care worker I’m amazed at the complete lack of respect some have shown to frontline workers,it’s very unsettling and saddening.
Well done for sticking to the rules, even if it did offend her. Someone needed to tell her that is that sort of attitude which keeps the virus spreading and has contributed to many of us being inside with little social contact for most of the year. Obviously nor concern or respect for anyone else sadly.
With any luck, Daftbags's SiL will have one of those "Illuminations of Conscience" that NannyC2 is hoping for, and realise just what a wally she is being, going from house to house potentially carrying the virus with her like Typhoid Mary.
Perhaps it will work the other way round, and she will pick it up herself on her tour, but not pass it on to anyone else? At least Daftbag and her family won't be infected - they have been forewarned.
But she seriously upset YOU. Think of it like that...not the other way round.
Of course you did the right thing, and certainly shouldn't feel guilty. People like this are selfish, and somehow think they are above the rules. I know several so-called intelligent people who are like this and it makes my blood boil. Lets hope people don't go beserk on New Year's Eve.
I just wish everyone would be sensible and do the right thing for the sake of others. Our daughter has a very serious heart condition and needs tests and surgery urgently. DH and are both vulnerable and can’t even see her to give her a hug.It breaks my heart when people ignore the rules. Can’t they see the damage they are doing to the NHS who can’t treat the ones who desperately need their help in other ways than COVID.
Sorry for the rant.
Please don’t feel guilty
You are totally right. I wish we had a system which made people carry cards
I am a rule breaker and do not expect a hospital bed !!!
It may stop the blatant disregard for the rules
You may have done the right thing Daftbag1 as most people on here seem to agree with you. But don't expect your SIL to forgive you for withdrawing a Christmas Day invitation on Christmas Eve. I certainly wouldn't. I'm with Taliya.
Callistemon
I see where you're coming from now, NannyC2
What one person believes to be the truth could, of course, be scientifically dismantled by others who do not believe it.
I’m not entirely sure where either of you are coming from, but it’s a place I think I should avoid !
Well said everyone else, I completely agree x
Comment for NannyC2
My cousin is a hospital consultant in a large City Hospital, my god-daughter is a Sister in a large London Hospital, my next door neighbour is a nurse, her partner is a paramedic, I have two friends working in ICU and another is a domiciliary carer, without exception they are overstretched and working long shifts, I have spoken with all of them due to large amount of conspiracy theory beliefs and misinformation spread via social media, not one of them has been asked to “lie” or “exaggerate” COVID cases, nor have been told at any point not to discuss COVID in general. I’m aware a 111 operator in Cornwall was suspended then resigned for stating that as Cornwall wasn’t overwhelmed, which is true, very few cases there, that meant COVID didn’t spread across the UK and was made up.
Unless you have actually heard these facts from the NHS individual yourself, I would not be repeating hearsay or gossip !
I see where you're coming from now, NannyC2
What one person believes to be the truth could, of course, be scientifically dismantled by others who do not believe it.
Lucca and Callistemon my thoughts exactly!
Don’t feel guilty Daftbag1. As someone wiser than me once said 'Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.'
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