Have you learned anything from lockdown?

Sheilasue, yes you are lucky if you have a husband and a daughter living nearby who is in your bubble. For those of us who live alone and have grown up children living in other parts of the country it is hard. I miss my grandchildren and I know I am lucky as I will get to see them soon unlike friends who have family in other countries. I miss day trips to the coast and just normal everyday things I took for granted such as a shopping trip with a friend and lunch. The goalposts do keep moving. Just hope the restrictions gradually ease and I’m not bothered about a holiday abroad until next year at the very earliest.

I thought I was coping well with it, I volunteer remotely doing something worthwhile I'd hadn't even thought of before. But then yesterday, on the day of reflection, I had a good cry knowing I want it to end now. My daughter is in remission from cancer and I want her and my grandchild to have some fun and some quality of life. I want to see my overseas grandchildren. I thought the vaccine was the light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel's got longer.

Sorry Whitewavemark2 I didn't answer the question ! What I have learned is that if you have difficulties to contend with this lockdown has made them much worse, almost unbearable for some I think.

I agree BlueBelle and Lucca, I have hated it. Can't see my son and only grandchildren in USA, elder son here having a really hard time looking after wife with Altzheimers, all the people waiting for really urgent treatment and probably no date fixed - lots of people struggling- all awful. Also an unpleasant feeling of 'surveillance ' somehow.

My DH and I are both singers and on the week before lockdown we were singing in a concert - then everything was stopped for us! We were supposed to travel to Spain to a singing convention at the beginning of April so then began a big round of cancellations! I know it's 'only' singing but it's a big part of our lives that disappeared overnight - and no - singing online doesn't make up for it!
Coupled with the fact of not being able to see family who only live 10 minutes away, it's been a difficult time and I for one have had my ups and downs.
I remember at the start of the first lockdown, my friend saying that if she had to spend 12 weeks with her DH they would probably kill each other - but I think we've mostly coped with that aspect of it! we walk every day and often bump into someone we know for a quick chat - that has helped! But the thing that always lights up my day is a chat with two of my grandchildren - although there's another two I haven't seen since September. I think I've learned to take each day as it comes - not to try to plan too far ahead and just look forward to the day when we can resume some normality!

I can’t understand why some of you on here are so pent up over the situation. Yes we miss all our usual take for granted things but I can still go out for a walk the local cafe in our woods is open for takeaway and coffee or tea. Cakes ice cream
Etc. I am lucky to have my daughter nearby 10 minutes away and she’s in our bubble. We missed out on celebrating her 50th my dh 80th but we are going to make up for that. I can shop on line for most things. I face timed and spoke to family in Suffolk which is lovely. Things will get better but we have to live with a pandemic, imagine what flue was all those years ago. People got through that.

Maybe I should also admit that I had a massive breakdown a few years ago and was lucky enough to have had counselling (which doesn't seem to exist now). I questioned then why I did things and why I felt as I did, etc etc and some of the things I learnt then have put me in a good position now.

I am in total agreement I have hated every minute of it all the pleasures of life removed, just don’t get me started.

NannyDaft Yes, I would agree with you. I've learnt that a couple of people are full of talk and just stick with the genuine ones. It's been an eye-opener.

Jillybird I understand what you mean. I don't sweat the small stuff, but I have a couple of things I want to do - and will do as soon as I can. I can't do them just yet, so I don't worry about them - I just make sure I'm ready for a lift off when I can.

For me it has been quite traumatic I am quite a family person and pre Covid with my DGC and their Parents ( my D.C.) we have enjoyed great times together .I had my Anniversary lockdown Birthday yesterday - I actually am quite scared about it - what a wasted year ! I know that in the circumstances and tragic loss of life ! I am lucky to be here . But lots of things have changed including people their true colours have come to the surface !

Craftycat Your situation reminded me of the parents of a friend of mine. They lived in a beautiful country cottage with a kitchen which could have been in a glossy magazine.

The mother died and within weeks the kitchen had been turned into a workshop for making steam engines. I'm afraid stereotypical gender differences still seem to exist. I think you need to be strict and create some boundaries.

I feel the same as you Pantglas2 and Urmstongran. As soon as we were allowed last summer we went to our spiti in Crete where we had a wonderful 12 weeks with a bit of normality. We followed the Greek rules which were quite stringent and enjoyed the time in the sun, catching up with friends and doing some work in the house. We were quite happy to complete the quarantine when we returned to Wales even though it was followed quite swiftly by the two week firebreak.

This year I think we should be able to do the same (when the Greeks have come out of their lockdown and are happy to see us) with the added advantage of having been vaccinated.

We are not holidaymakers, we travel there throughout the year including the winter and contribute to the local economy. We do worry for all our friends that rely on visitors and holidaymakers for their businesses, how will they survive without tourism?

Unfortunately this virus isn’t going to go away any time soon and we do need to learn to live with it whilst taking all the precautions we can, but we do need to live not just survive. There will be casualties as with all illnesses and if I am one of them then it is my time. We can’t be locked away forever and I am desperate to see my son who lives in Japan as I am sure many others are who loved ones who live abroad.

Sorry for the rant, but I am sure Stanley Johnson will find a way to go.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Unfortunately the thing I have learned most is that I am dreading time when DH retires! Having him at home all day every day has been difficult. He is in his study most of the day - up until all hours of the morning & then he sleeps in late every day & I do mean LATE
He does nothing about the house except make a mess- you cannot get into the dining room as he started one if his 'projects' on the table in there- lost interest & has not moved anything despite many requests. Started converting garage into a workshop- lost interest so the drive is now cluttered with load of timber & we cannot get to the back gate.
Sorry to moan but I needed to vent!! No good talking to him as he just says not to worry- it will all get done!!!!
I suppose I could look for a part-time job myself when he retires-luckily he has a few years to go yet!
Ahh- feel better now!

I have newly retired and into lockdown. I miss everything about 'Normal Life' and I miss my job. I'm finding it hard to adjust as I live alone and can't do volunteering at the moment. I feel sad for the people who have lost family, I lost a cousin this time last year. I watched Kate Garraway's Finding Derek last night on TV and it really brings it home about how careful we have to be. Relaxing and reflecting is about the only positive I can see at the moment.

MamaCaz

A positive that has come out of it for me is that is that I have actually got to know more people in our tiny village, because they have started spending more time outside, walking locally, and short conversations with them have become the norm when our paths cross. Even people who never looked my way in the past now exchange a smile and friendly greeting.

I tried mindfulness a few years ago and thought it was a load of New Age mumbo jumbo, but I've changed my mind. I realised that mindfulness was already part of how I deal with my life and have gone back to find out more.

Don't be ashamed Wendy. At the beginning of all this, I wrote that I didn't think it would affect me much. I haven't been able to afford holidays, eating out or shopping etc for years. I don't have many close family members and I've continued to communicate with real friends by text, email or Zoom. Losing half my income has been a blow, but I've resigned myself to spending savings.

A couple of people scoffed at me for saying that I didn't have much to lose, but it's interesting to see that a year later some of those same people who dismissed me are the ones saying they're finding it very hard. Content is a word which could describe how I feel too.

I am already retired and please myself what I do each day.
I have my dogs and throughout lockdown just as normal have carried on walking them, doing a bit of shopping and taking care of the house. I quietly take a breath and laugh as I notice occasionally my doctor sends out the wrong prescription for me or the vet forgets to get the medication for my dog and also has sent the wrong medication. I phone them to get the correct things I need and then carry on.
I wonder perhaps is it because they are usually working at such pressured speed that by slowing down they feel confused.
I look forward to many places opening but as long as I get walking with the dogs and have enough food then nothing about it bothers me.
I done the minute silence yesterday for all those that had died and felt sad for the thousands that lost loved ones and so much grief is heartfelt to me that is the biggest sadness of the pandemic the loss of so many.

How lovely Growstuff ? something to look forward to... I think that’s what most of us need, a smidgin of hope for the future!

A positive that has come out of it for me is that is that I have actually got to know more people in our tiny village, because they have started spending more time outside, walking locally, and short conversations with them have become the norm when our paths cross. Even people who never looked my way in the past now exchange a smile and friendly greeting.

I am almost ashamed to admit that lockdown hasn't affected me much at all. I work from home, I go out for long walks, I sit through Zoom meetings. All my challenges are caused by my husband's failing health so nothing will change even if things do improve nationally. No holidays, no trips out but I am content.

I am looking forward to the 29 March.

I have hated it, every single second, and I can't see an end in sight. I know I shall still be scared to venture out even if they say it's safe.

Well, I have an admission ...


I have a new man in my life :-) ... and I don't mean a dog or a delivery man ... a real man for a romantic relationship.

It's somebody I knew years ago and we've kind of had an online relationship. Both of us want to meet, but we're both careful about restrictions. I'm not sure we would have got back in touch if we hadn't been forced to stay in our homes.

So life's not over until the fat lady sings!