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Friend breaking Government guidelines re holidays

(51 Posts)
Northernlass Wed 16-Jun-21 09:57:15

A close friend is determined to take her usual holiday, quite soon, with family (all live spread out across the country).
There will be at least 10 people, from 5 or 6 households; 3 of them live in Delta variant hot spots. People who live in these areas have been asked to limit travel, for obvious reasons; they'll be travelling about 300 miles.
I feel upset about it - I see it as completely selfish. I do understand the desire to be with family and pretend everything is 'normal'.
How would others handle it?

JaneJudge Wed 16-Jun-21 10:00:02

I only have to look at facebook to see who is and isn't breaking guidelines. People will do what they like and there isn't much we can do about it.

Grandmabatty Wed 16-Jun-21 10:17:01

I wouldn't mention the holiday at all which is pretty passive aggressive I know. If she contacts you about meeting up afterwards, I would say that would be lovely but I'll wait til you've been back from mixing.

CafeAuLait Wed 16-Jun-21 10:36:35

They're going to do no matter what anyone thinks so I would just make sure I don't see my friend for at least two weeks after her return. That way, if she's caught it from anyone coming from a higher risk area, you won't have been in contact.

toscalily Wed 16-Jun-21 10:38:16

Just keep your distance for a few weeks after she returns from the family holiday.

rosie1959 Wed 16-Jun-21 10:45:51

I wouldn’t handle it as it really would be none of my business
I really don’t blame her life has been on hold long enough

NotSpaghetti Wed 16-Jun-21 10:47:39

I heard a colleague on zoom say she was “supposed to be isolating in Dublin”. It sounded as though she wasn’t.

People are just making it up.

Lillie Wed 16-Jun-21 10:49:18

i agree. keep out of her way when she gets back.
10 people from 6 households means that most will be single people anyway probably vaccinated, in need of company.
It isnt illegal anyway in a hotel.

greenlady102 Wed 16-Jun-21 10:50:08

I agree. I wouldn't directly comment but I would avoid meeting up for at least 14 days afterwards. How clear you are about the reason for this is up to you

Antonia Wed 16-Jun-21 10:54:51

I wouldn't say anything at all about it. They will go on holiday whatever you say, and it would be seen as unwanted interference. As others have said, just keep out of their way when they come back.

maddyone Wed 16-Jun-21 11:46:05

I wouldn’t handle it at all either. It’s none of my business. I might avoid her for a couple of weeks afterwards, but I am fully vaccinated, and probably if she’s your age, so is she. So probably no danger to you at all, assuming you’re fully vaccinated.

GillT57 Wed 16-Jun-21 12:13:12

It's a tricky one. Your friend is certainly stretching the regulations, but today, we have thousands at Ascot.

aonk Wed 16-Jun-21 12:48:09

I can understand your concerns but we will soon be in a situation where we will have to learn to live with the virus as the PM said on Monday. People will then have to make their own decisions. They can decide to go away and you can decide not to see your friend for a while. We have all been apart from our families for a long time. We won’t get this time back.

Talullah Wed 16-Jun-21 12:54:14

I have a stupid friend who has behaved as normally as she can throughout this lockdown. She has been appalled at how rude people have been to her when she wanders into shops with no mask. She has travelled all over the UK to see various children. There's no telling her. I tried. Others have tried. She's either incredibly stupid or so entitled that she doesn't get it. No idea why we're still friends to be honest. I have kept away from her throughout all this.

Doodledog Wed 16-Jun-21 12:59:52

Where are they staying? If they have separate accommodation then I suppose it's no different from if they were staying at home and meeting up. If they do that within the guidelines, which they will probably have to do - eg sitting at separate tables in pubs/restaurants etc - then again there is probably not much of an issue.

Fortunately we will not fully 'open up' next week, and there are at least some controls over what people are able to do. Leaving it up to the individual will never work, as people's ideas of what constitutes 'common sense', and what is selfish varies so much.

eazybee Wed 16-Jun-21 13:21:06

Avoid her when she returns and if she queries it, be truthful.
Otherwise, make no comment.

Northernlass Wed 16-Jun-21 14:31:38

My apologies - I should've said they're all staying in the same self catering accommodation. The Government's website (updated 15 June) says (and I know this is guidance, not law):

"Meeting friends and family indoors (rule of 6):

It is safer to meet people outdoors. This is because COVID-19 spreads much more easily indoors. However, you can meet up indoors with friends and family you do not live with, either:

- in a group of up to 6 from any number of households (children of all ages count towards the limit of 6)

- in a group of any size from up to two households (each household can include an existing support bubble, if eligible)

If you are meeting friends and family, you can make a personal choice on whether to keep your distance from them, but you should still be cautious. You should read the guidance on meeting friends and family."

And this is from the same site. It refers to areas where there's a high incidence of the Delta variant:

"In the areas listed above, you should also take particular caution when meeting anyone outside your household or support bubble. Wherever possible, you should try to:

- Meet outside rather than inside where possible
- Keep 2 metres apart from people that you do not live with (unless you have formed a support bubble with them), this includes friends and family you don’t live with
- Minimise travel in and out of affected areas"

My friend and I, and some of her family, live in an area where the Delta variant is a concern (>500 cases per 100,000).

maddyone I understand where you're coming from. We've both had both vaccinations. However, I know of 6 people who have had Covid despite having both jabs. Even though there are far fewer hospital admissions, it's still a horrible disease and 2 of the 6 I've mentioned have long Covid.

Thanks everyone. I think I've decided not to see her for at least 2 weeks after she gets home. I think she knows I think she's being irresponsible by travelling so far and meeting up, indoors for a week, with so many people.

maddyone Wed 16-Jun-21 14:46:30

Yes I know Northernlass that it’s still possible to catch Covid if you’ve had both vaccines. I had bad Covid in the winter so am hopeful that along with my vaccines, I’ll be well covered. If two people meeting together have both had two vaccines, I would have thought that the probability of one of them infecting the other to be small, even if one’s vaccine didn’t work. Anyway, as I said, I’d just give her a wide berth for a couple of weeks after she returns, and then there shouldn’t be a problem.

pinkquartz Wed 16-Jun-21 14:54:47

OP Can you say where they are going?

Which area? Hope it is not South Coast.

I agree that youshould svoid this person for a week after returning

Northernlass Thu 17-Jun-21 11:13:03

pinkquartz yes, it's the south coast! Keep off the beaches next week|!

suttonJ Thu 17-Jun-21 11:22:15

So....are we back in a tier system, where certain areas are 'guided' towards different behaviour/rules to the rest of us? Preposterous. Either mandate it, or don't be surprised if said 'guidance' is ignored.
It's all the government attempting to close the stable doors after the horse has bolted.

maddyone Thu 17-Jun-21 11:42:11

Indeed it is sutton after the Delta variant has bolted!

JaneJudge Thu 17-Jun-21 11:52:10

We are in a delta area (not as high as our neighbouring boroughs YET) and we are being told to behave differently. The letters from school are saying to, too. It is on the those electronic signs everywhere also.

I had a meeting with my dd's social worker too who said the council are saying only ONE group activity a week to minimise risk. By group activity she means going to the pictures or similar. But I tend to think going to a supermarket must be worse? who knows

Ginpin Mon 21-Jun-21 12:53:39

I am surprised that the Holiday Company / Holiday Home owners are allowing this family of over 6 people / more than 2 families to holiday together under one roof !!!

We had our 1st holiday together ( April 2020 in Devon ) postponed and then cancelled due to the 1st lockdown and then the rule of 6 prevented us from going in Feb 2021 on that same holiday.

We then could not go on our 2nd holiday, to Cornwall in April 2021 due to the rule of 6.

We are due to go together on holiday to Devon at the end of this year , we are now going to be classed as 2 families because one daughter 'support bubbles' with us anyway as her husband is in the Navy and always away, and my other 2 daughters' families are now in a 'support bubble' as one has a new baby.
We all live in Dorset/ Somerset anyway, in low infection level areas and see each other regularly, so are really keeping our fingers crossed this time that we can actually holiday together. We have all been double jabbed now too.

If we had been living in Wales / holidaying in Wales, non of the children would have been counted all being under the age of eleven.
We are eight adults but my eldest daughter and her husband do not count because they are foster carers, so us six remaining adults would have been fine and there would have been no problems in legaly holidaying together.

Ellianne Mon 21-Jun-21 13:13:10

I don't see how holiday companies can go round every house on their books to check occupancy. They have to trust the renters.
I have a confession to make, we sort of broke the law in May by 36 hours by having 2 households staying from the Saturday before lockdown ended on the Sunday at midnight. The agency came out to put the heating on and didn't say anything.
I felt a bit bad, but reasoned it was part of our 7 nights and it would be stupid to arrive on the Sunday night . When I looked in the visitor's book it was obvious this had already been happening even during the restrictions.
And anyone people could just say they live together or are in support bubbles.