Am I an ass?

I wish there were a way of upticking/liking previous comments so the OP has an idea of how many of us think one way or another

Becksnana -- are you generally up to date with vaccinations?

If so, her attitude surprises me but it depends on so many other factors.
At 37 y o it may well be her only child -she is obviously very anxious - is your daughter immunosuppressed or worried that the baby might have some genetic vulnerability?

Which is the vaccine you are not OK with and why?

Finally, if my daughter said that to me -- I might tell her she was OTT but to keep her happy I would have all the vaccinations she wanted -- after all it might even be to my benefit too.

To me the "drama" is the slant OP is putting on it.
Am I an ass (US interpretation) is way OTT.
I don't know OP's age, but flu jabs make sense even if she may not be eligible for a shingles jab ,but it sounds as if she is pretty anti, preferring her mother's take on the principle - and let's face it, medicine has moved on we no longer for instance encourage our children to attend "chickenpox parties" or fumigate bedding after 6 weeks isolation for Scarlet Fever! (My experience at age 7.)
I think the expectant mum may be over reacting but that is her prerogative and it actually sounds to me more like a reaction to OP'S own extreme attitude.
That's making a drama !

Not sure, RosiesMaw, that I think Becksnana is making a drama out of it - I do think it's an odd request though.

I'm totally with the no kissing of the baby no coughing/sneezing over the child (or anyone frankly), covid testing and lots of hand-washing no visiting if at all unwell etc - but...

I do also say it's Mum's choice though. I don't understand why it's so draconian but i feel maybe this is a mum that has been through "Hell and high water" to get to this point and won't have any more chances. She is presumably very anxious.

I wonder if you are using the term "ass" in the English sense ("idiot") or the US as your language suggests the latter?
Certainly if the former- yes you are.
I personally find it an overreaction to feel so strongly about a new mum's wishes. Your views are your own but she has, it seems, IMHO decided not to put her baby at risk.
There is a resurgence of Measles in the UK - it can be fatal. Chickenpox is a miserable illness as is Whooping Cough so best vaccinated against. And that's without starting on MMR and the "biggies".
You say you are happy enough with all but one (I seem to have missed which one and why) so why make such a drama out of it?

Can you offer to help her - cleaning, laundry, cooking - but keep away from her precious baby?

I expect she will say no.
I'm not sure what country you are in.

Maybe have a look at what the "green book" says and why?

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a7abc09e5274a319e77a5b9/Green-Book-Chapter-12.pdf

Simple have vaccines and be part of babies life or don't have vaccines and keep away .The choice is yours.
Right or wrong that is the babies mothers request .

Hello,
You do say you are OK with having all but one of them - can you focus her mind on all the ones you are OK with?
Which is the one you feel most uncomfortable about?

I do think it's an odd request (ultimatum?) to be honest.

My youngest caught measles at 8 months old, before she was old enough to have the vaccine.
My other children had had the measles vaccinations and I'd had measles as a child.
DC1 reacted badly to the measles vaccination and caught measles from it.
DGC3 caught measles from her sibling, who had had the MMR booster and had reacted to it.

I am not an anti-vaxxer by any means and I think it's important for children to have their routine vaccinations despite our experiences but this seems to be a case of over-anxiety.

I hope the mother has had the recommended vaccinations in pregnancy and will breast feed the baby to give it the best possible start.

Germanshepherdsmum

I suspect she’s saying this to her mother because she knows about her whacky beliefs, and potentially the mother will be in closer contact with the baby and for longer periods, even if she catches covid again. Here baby, have a dose of covid, you’ll get natural immunity (even though I didn’t).

Someone could have Covid without symptoms whether vaccinated or not.

I had to have a whooping cough booster, though it was a triple vaccination. Whooping cough, tetanus & diphtheria. Fully vaccinated as a child and I’ve had 5 covid vaccines and flu jab every year as I work with vulnerable people.

This is what we were all sent before my grandchild was born 😷

You too Namsnanny! 😊👍🏻

Like many grandparents I also hadn’t had the flu shingles or pneumonia vaccine I wasn’t old enough to be offered them

Babies can catch many things! When mine were little and both my daughters had chicken pox at 4 & 2 years our GP assured me my two week old son wouldn’t catch it as I was breastfeeding and he would have “natural immunity” 1 week later his spots appeared and he was quite poorly!

I really can’t see what difference it makes regarding the Covid jab. As it doesn’t stop you getting it or passing it on.
Still seems very strange my children never had advice from drs on what vaccinations grandparents had received sounds very OTT.
Will she check the vaccination record of everyone who is in contact with the baby.

Sorry GShMum for quoting you, ignore me.

I should have thought before I posted.

I'm not up for a touche moment just now.

I was 'triggered' (such a namby pamby phrase) by calling the op's pov whacky
Have a good day👍🙂

Ok so I’ve read the vaccines required. Many of us older folks have these as a matter of course. I wouldn’t have let you in our house if you refused your Covid vaccine. Flu changes each year, hence annual vaccines, pneumonia jabs are recommended every three years and for goodness sake we are ALL so lucky that live in a country that offers us all this protection. Without vaccines horrible diseases like Polio, Diptheria, TB would be commonplace here and we already have measles issues due to Mum’s refusing to vax their children.

It’s a complete No brainer to me, access to your grandchild = vaccines.

That’s not so, Namsnanny. Babies are less likely to catch covid but they can, and do, catch it.

What vaccines?? Is this a joke or spam post??

Germanshepherdsmum

I suspect she’s saying this to her mother because she knows about her whacky beliefs, and potentially the mother will be in closer contact with the baby and for longer periods, even if she catches covid again. Here baby, have a dose of covid, you’ll get natural immunity (even though I didn’t).

Babies dont get covid.

I see it as a fait accompli, not a choice welbeck
But what ever it is Callistemon21 point is valid.

I suspect she’s saying this to her mother because she knows about her whacky beliefs, and potentially the mother will be in closer contact with the baby and for longer periods, even if she catches covid again. Here baby, have a dose of covid, you’ll get natural immunity (even though I didn’t).

I don't know how this mother-to-be is going to manage to insist that anyone who comes into contact with the baby must be vaccinated 🤔

Medical staff, health visitors, anyone else who might come near.

Perhaps she's going to live in a yurt, give birth alone and keep away from society.

I wouldn’t let you anywhere near my child with your belief in ‘natural immunity’. In other words expose people to dangerous illnesses in the hope that they will catch them and acquire immunity. Getting covid the first time didn’t give you immunity, did it? Your choice - you get vaccinated or you don’t see your grandchild.

well, it seems you have made your choice.
and so has your daughter.
you cannot really complain of the consequences when you knew what the choice entailed.