Today i hit 16 stone.....talk about depressed....

bytheway sorry you are a bit down.
It is a fact that some of us are prone to more easily pile on the pounds but there can be so many factors making this happen. Suggestions that you check out health issues are a really good idea if you feel that this could be a factor.

I have been reading about the physical act of chewing our food affecting our weight. Apparently not only does chewing each bite 30 - 40 times ensure that you actually eat about 12% less food but the very act of chewing informs your brain that you have eaten and triggers a 'full' or 'satisfied' marker. Worth a shot possibly.

Cutting out starchy carbohydrates works well as does drinking plenty of water.

Taking a vitamin D supplement helps your body to absorb the nutrients properly so that your body is not screaming for munchies.

Buddy up with a friend for mutual encouragement and competition as this can be really helpful. Walking and talking together is beneficial.

The main thing is to make the decision to 'go for it' and then stick to it, come what may, until you are in the place you want to be.

Have you tried keeping a food diary to see just what you are eating that could be cut out or reduced? It's the only way I managed to lose weight in the past and am back on it again now as well as my SIL & BIL who have both managed to lose weight. I agree that the depression won't help but it's a vicious circle as you're depressed about the weight in the first place. I don't seem to have the 'full' gene in my body - I just carry on eating until the plate's empty but I have found if I go and do something when I think I'll go to the pantry I can manage to stave off the hunger until the right meal time. Mind you having breakfast at 5.45 every day doesn't help as I need to eat something again at 9!

I bet the poor OP has tried absolutely everything! Maybe its time for her to relax and accept herself as she is. Who knows if she accepts herself and refocuses beyond just weight, she could gradually slim down, but that's not the be all and end all of a life worth living?

Good idea, Jane10 How about three-month pause, ignoring diets and scales completely and concentrating instead on doing things and going places that make you feel happy and relaxed? Then try on some clothes that you like and look in the mirror. If you look good and feel good, you ARE good.

And if the clothes don't fit, there will still be time to buy something new and gorgeous before C*******s.

I'm sorry you're feeling so down, bytheway, and hope that talking things over on Gransnet has been a help.

I'd just like to back the posters who recommend the 5:2. It's not a diet, it's a way of life you soon get used to, and if it suits you, it's great. Not like calorie counting, worrying about sins or points and feeling guilty about enjoying food. I've been doing it for a couple of years, lost the stone I wanted to lose easily and have kept it off. I could easily lose more by being less indulgent on the 5 days. I barely notice the 2 fast days now and appreciate my food so much more on the others. More importantly, my blood pressure went down significantly even before my weight did.

Saying that, it doesn't suit everyone. My DD1 felt ill on the fast days so couldn't do it. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Water..... Lots of it. I read somewhere that when we feel hungry it's often water we need. Sometimes if I do something energetic or go for a long walk I feel I need sugar and dream of scoffing a bag of jelly beans (something full of sugar). At those times I drink a glass of water (tonic water works best for me). And the feeling of hunger and craving for something sweet goes away.

Also, like some others, I would try the 5:2 diet. It worked better for me than anything else.

Whatever you do, I hope it works but the most important thing is to get your depression sorted. No matter what you weigh, you need to lift your spirits.

Jane10 and Elegran
I looked at the NHS BMI calculator and put in female, age 65, height 5'6", weight 16st. Obviously I'm guessing the OP's height and age. but it doesn't make that much difference.
The BMI comes out at 36.1, the healthy range for 5'6" is 8st 3lbs -11st 2lbs and the recommendation to reach a healthy weight is to lose 6st 5lbs to be in the middle of the healthy range.

The OP is desperate enough to post her distress and anxiety about her weight on a public website. I don't think telling her to just accept her obesity is very helpful.

Even if you disregard the health issues of being 6 stone overweight,it is still like carrying a rucksack weighing 89lbs around with you everywhere you go.

Bytheway please go to your GP for help.It's a very big hill to climb all by yourself. I'm sure you won't be judged and I hope you get the help you need.

Jane But a break from worrying about her weight and a start to feeling better about herself could have an effect on snacking/comfort eating and show after a while a small weight loss, which would then encourage her to change her eating habits and maintain/continue that - not calling it diet!!! the name is enough to set up anxiety and put her back onto frequent snacks.

There is another agenda in weight loss though, which is taking (back) control of your body and your life, hence the depression which failure in attempts weight engenders. I think one -to - one support , hypnotherapy, life counselling might all be helpful. Success breeds success when ones self confidence is being rebuilt and failure usually brings o further depression. It's not just about the health aspects of weight is it, but body image and self confidence .
There are expensive food delivery plans which would work provides OP has the motivation to stick to it, but support and understanding from her DH would also be essential. Not all men want their partners to lose weight , look and feel more glamorous and retake control of their lives, oddly enough.

Sorry, that should have read attempts to lose weight.

Very well put DaphneBroon.

Yes Daphne. There is much more to it than just losing weight. She's been trying to do it her whole life and whatever methods she's tried just haven't worked.
Should she keep trying using the same old obvious methods likely to be suggested by GP or rethink and try to come at the issue in a different way. If she can feel better about herself then she may gradually find that food is not the only reward. Hypnotherapy might be an interesting idea to pursue as a change?

I second Ilrina but wish I had the willpower to do so myself.?

Esspee indeed it is the only way to do it but why is it so hard for some? Its a complex area that leads to misery for some.

jane10 why do any of us make unwise choices in our lives? Some people are attracted to disastrous relationships, some drink, others gamble. We are all fallible in one way or another and if you go back to my first post you will see that far from suggesting the "same old obvious methods" my advice to see a doctor was to check on thyroid function and I have suggested other avenues and possible underlying causes of the weight problem. I also know many women who embarked on the 5;2. diet, lost stones and put it all on again when they reverted to eating normally. I do not advocate "diets" and you may have seen that I also said once you start dieting, your metabolism is basically, to put it crudely, stuffed. Possibly why successive diets WW, SW etc have not worked. My mother survived on a very low calorie daily food intake in Germany in the latter years of the war. When she came to the UK in 1947, despite rationing, no snacks, no alcohol and certainly no junk food as it hadn't been invented, she started to put on weight because she was benefiting from adequate nutrition for the first time in perhaps 5 years. She struggled with her weight to the end of her life. I do wishOP would come back and share her thoughts and also wish her well in getting to the possible root cause of why she is finding it impossible to lose weight.

Daphne it wasn't you I was arguing with! I'm just trying to say its not a cut and dried matter of BMI =X therefore must lose weight! All your suggestions were fine by me. I wonder if the OP will return? Maybe she's reading but not posting? If so, good luck and sincere best wishes.

Hi

Thanks to you all for your replies, i am overwhelmed with the advice offered, I'm so grateful. Lots of good ideas here. Just to provide a little further info, i did see my GP a few weeks ago regarding my weight and she sent me to the nurse for bloods to see if anything wrong like underactive thyroid etc... but nothing, also my blood pressure is normal as is my cholesterol. I have tried changing my meds as the GP said one of them could cause weight gain, unfortunately this particular one also helps me sleep (mirtazipine)and when i tried to reduce it, my insomnia returned with avengance, and believe me, being 6 stone overweight is preferable to coping on 2 hours sleep a night especially with full time work to contend with. I am going to attend an overeaters anonymous group tomorrow to see if that may help (it is a christian group and i am not religious but I'm told non-believers are welcome)and really i would welcome a buddy so fingers crossed on that one.

Just to answer a few other posters...i have tried 5:2 again I just felt hangry as they say, also i am 5'5'' so pretty average height.

Going back to my GP on wednesday to discuss blood results and see if she can suggest anything else. Thanks again for all your replies, i am going to go through this thread again and take notes to help myself and discuss with Doc.

You are all wonderful

I am glad to hear you sounding so positive, I hope you find something that works for you. Good luck at the docs.

jane10 I agree isn't a case of BMI=X therefore must lose weight.
But I think it's a case of if BMI=36, then there's no doubt that many benefits will be gained by losing weight.
Not just the obvious health benefits, but as daphne says, the confidence that will come from feeling in control of one's eating.
It is the OP's choice, and feeling that she has a choice is possibly the first step on the right path.

There is more to health and wellbeing than what one weighs.

I see you're on Mirtazipine,*bytheway*, which does unfortunately give you an appetite. My daughter is on this AD, but as she is usually a skinny soul, it helps her keep her weight normal, and as you say, helps her to sleep. Could your GP possibly try you on an alternative?
Also, I have been doing Low Carb High Fat (LCHF) for the last 4 months, and my weight has dropped by almost a stone, with no effort (Yay!!)- the high fat helps you to feel full, and no temptation to snack. It's not a "diet" but a way of eating, and is wonderful for keeping blood glucose low.
It does mean rethinking food options, but once you get into it, it's easy.
It's not fat that makes you fat, it's the sugar (that includes carbohydrates in things like potatoes, bread, pasta and flour based food), might be worth a look at the low carb thread on here?

The thing about mirtazapine is that it's non addictive but, boy does it knock you our when you first take it! Could you reduce the amount a tiny bit at a time bytheway? Interesting that you mention insomnia because, during my years of dieting two things made me overeat more than anything else; hormones [which I no longer have] and being tired. Tiredness would make me crave things like crisps [I can eat packet after packet late at night when I'm tired] and sweet things eg ice cream. If only I could have just gone to bed when the tiredness kicked in rather than stay up and hit the fridge/kitchen cupboards I would have been ok.

I have just read all these messages and feel a bit better about losing weight I have a lot of health problems and badly need to. I have an aortic aneurysm and lymphangioma.Your comments have given me a few hints and I feel a bit better I have been feeling very down recently and I'm comfort eating on biscuits and chocolates and the I am disgusted with myself

There are other threads too junesmith11, a support thread for a low carbohydrate diet etc etc I think which could be helpful in keeping you on track.