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Denied toilet break

(169 Posts)
lexisgran Fri 28-Apr-17 10:28:58

My Daughter was telling me the other night that my granddaughter, 6 after lunchtime at school asked to go to the toilet and the teacher said you should have gone at lunch. she asked again later on and said she was desperate but was still refused.
She was absolutely bursting when she came to meet my daughter having waited nearly 2 hours

she is unsure whether to have a word? or is it common?

Jalima1108 Tue 02-May-17 22:43:56

The teacher will surely know which children need to go and those who are just 'trying it on'.

Most will not 'need to go' during lesson time by the age of about 7 so there wouldn't be too much disruption if just one or two had a problem.

lexisgran Wed 03-May-17 09:53:38

they have scrapped the doctors note after the little girl wet herself yesterday. They are now still denied 1st time but are allowed to go if they ask again, but will miss 10 minutes of their playtime

trisher Wed 03-May-17 10:00:19

Oh come on that's plain ridiculous! I was just wondering if your DD is on Facebook and if the parents at the school have a group. My DIL was telling me my GDs school (she starts in September) has one and they are setting up a reception group so parents can get to know each other in advance- great idea. I think it might be a forum for things like this to be discussed and the HT presented with a united group of parents.

vicwarren Wed 03-May-17 10:17:26

I think that is a more sensible rule if children really need a wee they will not mind taking a forfeit, and it also means the children trying to get out of work will also think twice, they also don't miss out on work time

trisher Wed 03-May-17 10:23:17

vicwarren there are children who cope with the work very well and who won't suffer any ill effects from visiting the toilet and missing time, then there are children who struggle and need help and taking 10 mins off these children's playtime will not improve their performance anymore than sitting worrying if they should/shouldn't go to the loo will. Personally I hope lots of children go to the loo and the school finds itself with a lot to supervise for the 10 mins they miss, bet this idea will be swiftly dumped then!

vicwarren Wed 03-May-17 10:33:06

yes i understand that, but it will be an incentive to remember to go at break. As they get older many teachers will be like me and not let them go at all in class time. They have to learn to go at break eventually.

mcem Wed 03-May-17 10:37:03

vic you're very dogged in your belief that they'll learn.
Why can't you see that in young children it's a maturing process and not a learning process?

goldengirl Wed 03-May-17 10:46:36

Re: lorry drivers and other road users research has shown that 'urgency' and having to 'hold on' affects concentration as well as encouraging health issues. Children also have to 'hold on' judging by the various posts therefore their concentration too will be reduced! So what purpose is gained from no allowing the use of the loo?

Also in the majority of work places, meetings etc it is acceptable to go to the toilet when the need arises. A school is a child's workplace..........

vicwarren Wed 03-May-17 10:48:28

mcem

they are not being told they cannot go without a doctors note anymore, they can have a wee if they really need one and don't have to hold it for 2 hours, seems like a good compromise.

i agree that it is a maturity process, and if i taught key stage 1 i would always allow loo breaks, however a little encouragement to go at break will get them into routine for when they come to year 5 and i will not let them go, or even secondary school.

vicwarren Wed 03-May-17 10:55:02

golden girl

by saying no it means that i don't have a queue of children wanting the toilet, they go at break just like me, and no work time is lost. i have never noticed that it has had a negative affect on the work they produce or concentration when i have refused to let a child go to the toilet.

mcem Wed 03-May-17 11:38:47

And how sympathetic are you towards a ten year-old (or older) girl who has a sudden menstrual emergency? Asking her to wait might prove hugely embarassing as would having to explin why she needs to go urgently.

POGS Wed 03-May-17 11:42:08

All of the jobs/work places I have ever worked in had the staff been told to hold it/refused to go to the toilet there would have a hell of backlash.

Can anybody remember 'The Rag Trade'? I can just imagine Miriam Karlin (shop steward) blowing her whistle shouting 'Everybody Out'

They are children for heavens sake.

Ana Wed 03-May-17 11:52:21

I'm puzzled about this 'note'.

Is it supposed to be from the child's doctor or parent? And if it's the parent, why aren't they all writing notes for their children, just in case?

Ana Wed 03-May-17 11:53:24

(and what would it say? confused)

Lillie Wed 03-May-17 13:37:43

I agree with * trisher*. Who is going to be on duty to supervise the 10 minute offenders during break and lunchtimes? Break duties are already unpopular with teaching staff because they take the staff away from preparation/marking time and even going to the toilet themselves. It's a very wasteful use of human resources.

Luckygirl Wed 03-May-17 14:04:42

Wait 2 hours to empty my bladder! - what a mess that would be! Two minutes is hard enough!

As someone else has pointed out, girls in the higher primary classes might ask to go to the loo if they think they have started a period; to refuse them the opportunity to go to the loo is just plain cruelty and nothing less.

Sunlover Wed 03-May-17 15:04:48

Been teaching Yr 3 to Yr 6 for many years and I very quickly get to know which children are just using going to the toilet as an excuse to get out of class for a few minutes. Usually I will ask if they can hang on till play or till I have gone through my main explanation. If we allowed every child to go whenever they asked there would be a constant stream of them in and out of the classroom. Never had an accident or a complaint from parents.

Lillie Wed 03-May-17 15:25:13

One half term holiday we had the toilet walls painted with fairytale Disney type characters. As you can imagine, the trips to the toilets become very frequent for a week or two! Thankfully the children got over the novelty and things soon returned to normal, (ask to go only when you need to).

vicwarren Wed 03-May-17 16:45:06

If a girl indicated she was on her period or a child said they could not wait then i would let them go, but as a general rule its a no to toilet in class time, it is not that long before a break.

As sunlover says as a teacher you get to know your children well.

Madgran77 Wed 03-May-17 18:37:26

vicwarren I was referring to the original post not your comment ....its the 6 year old bit that I can't believe, its too young to be expecting them to wait ....shock

mcem Wed 03-May-17 19:07:10

Very rigid in your opinions here vic.
May I just ask if Vic is an abbreviation of Victor or Victoria?

vampirequeen Wed 03-May-17 19:30:25

So now children are being punished by loosing 10 mins playtime if they go to the toilet. Imagine an adult being told they'd have their pay docked if they went to toilets outside of certain times.

vicwarren I have to say that if you were my daughter's teacher we would be at loggerheads. You expect a girl who has just hit puberty to feel comfortable telling you she needs the toilet because she's on her period let alone doing it in front of other girls and, worse still, boys.

When I used to have periods my bladder was always affected and I had to go to the toilet far more often. I didn't have to share that information at work. I simply went to the toilet when I needed to.

What right have you got to expect to be told personal information that you don't need to know? What right have you to put a child in a potentially embarrassing or humiliating situation? Not going to the toilet when you need to can be painful. What right have you got to inflict pain on others?

vicwarren Wed 03-May-17 19:48:28

Vampire

They do not have to explain in front of the other children or to me, they just have to say "it really is urgent Miss" or "Can i please go Miss I'm bursting". Being a women i do know what it was like first hitting puberty and would never embarrass or make a child feel uncomfortable.

grannypiper Wed 03-May-17 19:49:15

vicwarren as i pointed out in a previous post, my DD had a serious kidney problem and still the numbskull she had for a teacher would not let he out of the classroom which ended with my DD being very ill. Would you have made my DD wait as well ?

grannypiper Wed 03-May-17 19:50:16

Do Teachers have to forfeit their break time everytime they use their mobile phones in class ?