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GCSE

(37 Posts)
seasider Sat 12-May-18 18:24:46

I am at my wit' s end . Youngest DS starts his GCSEs this week and is refusing to revise. He was never very academic (able but lazy) but we thought he would get a few passes. In the last few months he has become friendly with a boy who joined the school and he is never in . He Has wanted a best mate for ages so I am loath to try and split them up.DS has never been an angel but started behaving badly at school despite being told he will be banned from the school prom.
We have told he can have one night out at the weekend while his exams are on. He agreed but now is sulking as he is " the only one not allowed out!" He has not kept to his side of the bargain and done some revision. We have never really pushed him and have taken a step back so as not to put the pressure on.
I know it's not the end of the world and he can 're-sit but it's so frustrating and I wonder where I have gone wrong

paulinecnd Sun 13-May-18 14:38:48

Seasider, our son was able but unwilling to revise or do the required schoolwork. I can remember him sitting at the table doing nothing instead of homework, there was nothing we could do to encourage him to study. Our son now has a good job, but he took years to decide he need to get down to it.
Just relax and stop worrying, there is almost nothing you can do if they are determined not to work.

grandtanteJE65 Sun 13-May-18 17:08:04

You have done nothing wrong. Now it's time to take a step back. You have advised your son to revise for his exams, so if he fails due to not having taken your advice it will be his own fault, It might be just what he needs to make him start taking responsibility for himself.

Hm999 Sun 13-May-18 19:47:20

He has to be in school or college or in an apprenticeship until he is 18. Where does he want to be in September?
I do remember a lad who dropped out of the college course he was offered on the basis of his GCSE results because he was so much more able than the others on his course - but his GCSEs didn't reflect his ability. It was really sad.

Jeannie59 Sun 13-May-18 20:05:55

My grandson lives in San Diego California, was brought up there from tge age of 6, he us now 24.
My DD and Son in law used to despair with him. At first he wanted to be an Architect and he wouldnt never turn up for college and sometimes pretend he had left the house and hide in his room.
It really was a stressful time for his parents and my GD who is now 22 and going to university end of August.
His father got him an internship with the games he was working for in San Diego and he is now a Games Designer and absolutely loves it.
College and university just wasn't for him
It all worked out in the end.

Jeannie59 Sun 13-May-18 20:08:29

Sorry I meant to say my son in law got him internship with a games company

icanhandthemback Mon 14-May-18 20:35:16

I have a friend who had a boy who she couldn't get to school. He failed his GCSE's despite being a bright boy and was generally a thorn in her side. However, 5 years on he has settled down to studying after he went on a life changing trip abroad to help people who were disadvantaged. It was the wake up call he needed. Hopefully, your son's time will come. Don't make it easy for him to doss about but don't nag him all the time either. He may just need a little more time to grow up.

Willow500 Mon 14-May-18 21:27:48

My youngest son rebelled at 15 with anything to do with school. He had hair down his back, was only interested in music and did no revision at all for his GCSE's. He did get some but can't remember how many. He wouldn't go to college or study further, left home as soon as he left school at 16 and joined a band. He's led his own life doing what he wanted and now at 43 has his own music school which he's just expanded.

Don't worry too much about your son - you can't force them to revise and unfortunately you can't give them wisdom beyond their years. My 16 year old GD is so stressed out with all her upcoming exams which go on for the next month it's making her ill and is worrying her parents immensely. You have to ask is it all good for them?

seasider Mon 14-May-18 21:52:26

Well amazingly he went to his first exam today and told me it was ok. He said while in the exam he realised he would have to work hard. Not much sign of him revising for tomorrow though but it's a start!

Willow500 Tue 15-May-18 09:44:54

Good news seasider - they constantly surprise us grin

stephenfryer Fri 18-May-18 22:01:27

Oh, he is me, 60 years ago! I was that grammar school boy who knew better than his parents and teachers. Did bare minimum academically, scraped through O levels, played truant instead of studying for A levels, got kicked out, took dead end job on lowest rung of civil service, got transferred down to London, lived a dissolute life.
In my twenties, met the right girl, bought a house, took Civil Service exams, moved up the career ladder, finally retired as a Senior Civil Servant. Some of my grammar school peers, who conformed and got degrees, did less well in life.
So chill, let the boy make his own mistakes, show him unconditional love. He'll be all right ..... eventually!

seasider Fri 18-May-18 22:12:33

Thank you both . I now feel there is hope Stephenfryer!