Excluded from school

quizqueen How do you know they aren't choosing to do the right thing? My nightmare neighbour chose to do the right thing which was clear during her few stable moments. Unfortunately she couldn't but she didn't get help until she was 30 and we are all crossing our fingers that it will work. It's going to be a lot more expensive than if the system had 'thrown money at her' when she was younger. What a depressing comment.

Well said Jenpax

And also well said Hm999

jenpax Good posts.

Quizqueen what a hard uncaring post No one knows his background or his parents backgrounds No one knows what happened to lead to exclusion No one knows any darned thing behind this story not even Teetime but you have been judge and jury for him or any other family going through difficulties Open your heart a bit no one is ‘bad’ without a good reason a little bit of thought and understanding would be good

I agree with Nanabilly - MYOB. You won't know the whole of it or even half. Smile and say hello and leave it at that.

Quizqueen as others have said, no one will throw money at this family. Just the opposite in fact. Do you think this child chooses to behave badly? He may do, or in fact, he may be unable to help himself. If he has ASD his whole life could be one of loud noises in his head, skin irritation, flashing lights all around him, loneliness, bullying. All I can say is I'm glad Teetime is his neighbour. A kind and thoughtful person.

What I have gathered from reading all the above, is that teetime should maybe just befriend the family as she normally might, to the extent that they are willing to accept her friendship. If that friendship then includes any extra support for the young boy then it will be an extra positive outcome.

As none of us know the reasons behind the exclusion, or of any difficulties the family have, it is pointless to speculate. However, I do agree that extra support and a bit of money spent now, might save a massive amount in the future.

Teetime - well done for offering to help.
As a sideline - listening to LBC this pm, one discussion concerned the wave of knife crimes among boys and young men. A suggestion has been made that if in social housing the parent should be evicted. But all the time talking about single mothers.
As well as this being horrendous, where are the fathers?

This poor boy sounds like my ADHD grandchild. Calling to his mother would be part of the condition if he has something like that and it will be agonising for her to hear it. Like my AC it’s possible she has to work, it really is an impossible situation with little help being given. My AC would have been really grateful for a friendly face as people are too quick to blame bad parenting.

craftynan ??

Teetime thank goodness for folks like yourself. Thanks also for the update which confirm what I'd suspected, that agencies are well aware of this child and his family and are actively involved

trisher is right in stressing that cuts to CAMHS and every other agency set up to help in situations like this, are under significant pressure due to the austerity agenda.

Teetime, do take care of yourself in your offers of help. This kind of painful family situation can (I"m sure you know) combust, causing distress to anyone in its vicinity. That doesn't mean I'm saying you're naive or advising you to MYOB as some are. Boundaries, boundaries can be very helpful when offering help

I'm very glad to say the young man is now being educated at another place and I hope this will be more suited to his needs. I will still keep an eye out for him and help if I can.

That's good news - so the system does work, eventually.

Thanks for letting us know teetime. Let's hope the placement is a good one for him and his mum. Kind of you to be so concerned.

The contributions to this thread have been very revealing. Most posters have tried to understand the whole picture.

Can any one guess what party Quizqueen supports or what newspapers she reads?