Nero-divergent teenage grandson being bullied

Sadly a new school is not always the answer. My DGS was off school for a long time. At first his parents were chased for his non attendance but they kept on pushing back saying unless you look after him properly he’s not coming back. In the end the school brought in CAHMS to assess the situation and try and force my DGS back into school. CAHMS advice, after talking to my DGS was to say in their opinion it was unwise to force my DGS to go to school. They believed he was seriously affected by his school life and forcing him may create a situation where he took a drastic course of action.

Try asking the head teacher if one of the more sensible pupils in his class could mentor him in playground , corridors, dining hall?

There is a teacher's assistant for supervising the safety of vulnerable children? If not why not?

i agree with Glorianny. well said.

A friend had dyslexic children, when they moved to a new area she approached the local educational authority about their special needs, the LEA, suggested that there should be no rush to get them into school and then spent three weeks assessing them, talking to schools and letting parents and children visit schools, until they found the right fit. Both children then went on to do really well because the school supported and helped them at every level.

It can be done. If it were my child, I would withdraw the child from school until a suitable school was found that would support and protect this child.

Caleo

Try asking the head teacher if one of the more sensible pupils in his class could mentor him in playground , corridors, dining hall?

There is a teacher's assistant for supervising the safety of vulnerable children? If not why not?

I know loads of teaching assistants who have been made redundant. Some schools have hardly any now.

MaggieT7

It is both physical & emotional and my daughter and son-in-law are going to school again on Monday. He is called all sorts of names because he is academically clever but lacks some social skills, they take his school equipment, bump into him on purpose, cut in the lunch line and I think at one point up ended his lunch tray. What the school seems to be doing is monitoring the perpetrators and registering the incidents but not registering how many times it is happening to my GS. It has got to the stage now that my daughter will start reporting it as an assault to the police. They are taking some of it seriously for example when his PE shorts were pulled down the class was informed it was sexual assault but they don't seem to be consistent in dealing with it. My daughter witnessed on Monday a group of 6 boys surrounding my GS and his friend and one went down his rack shack and took his phone. My daughter called out and the phone was returned. She went into the office to report it and it was investigated and put down to high jinx and not they are not seeing the pattern, hence her visit on Monday she is not happy with how they are handling it. Sometimes it affects him and for others, it doesn't. It kills me. The reason he went to the school in the first place was due to its pastoral care!

That sounds awful, and I'm not surprised you are upset. I would be livid.

Is a change of school a good idea? There is time before September to organize this.

Otherwise it needs to be escalated at school. Tell your daughter to ask the school about their bullying policy.

Record all incidents that occur, with dates, times and names. If there is no resolution from the school she should make a formal complaint to the governors.

Aveline

I'm what's a 'rack shack'?

Ruck Sack I think!

MerylStreep

VioletSky
The children at my granddaughters school have a saying for pupils who name those who are making trouble: ^if you snitch, you get stitched^

But that is not a reason to not doing anything though.

MaggieT7

Really? With everything I have written you feel the need to correct my spelling/grammar!

Thank you for all the helpful comments I do appreciate the support.

I'm not sure it was correcting Maggie I think the question because someone genuinely wondered what a Rack Sack was??

MaggieT7 it is very important that the bullying done to your DGS is not treated as isolated incidents that may not be deemed to be that serious if viewed in isolation. The same thing happened to my DGS and it took my son writing down each incident every day and eventually taking it to the school head who said he had no idea that all this was happening to one child. He thought each incident was a separate issue.

My son also told the head that he had told my DGS not to get involved with fighting anyone. They had stuck to this for several months. My son then told the head that unless he stopped the bullying he was going to let my DGS (big and strong) retaliate in the only way that would stop the bullying i,e, by thumping them. He also told the head that if that happened he would hold the head personally responsible and would not expect my DGS to be punished in any way.