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Education

ADHD and school exclusion

(59 Posts)
Struthruth Wed 18-Oct-23 08:34:14

My 9 year old grandson has just been excluded for the second time in 3weeks. This time for slapping the headmaster! He is not normally a hitting out child. He has been finding school increasing difficult and has fallen significantly behind. An application for a EHCP, to assess his needs has just been submitted but can take months. He says there are lots of times he wishes he could just rewind and do things differently. He feels bad about himself and also says he is ‘no good at learning’

His parents love him to bits but find his need for constant attention, etc very challenging. Unfortunately they do not pull together when things get tough. I think they are reeling, also dealing with him being home while fitting in working commitments and coming to terms with having a child with a development disability and having to advocate on his behalf. It is difficult for them to understand his behaviour and why he doesn’t learn from consequences.

Bit of an outpouring, I’m afraid. As a quite elderly grandma I do not have the umph to help as I would like. I research and try and find answers, and comfort with food and words but want practical input to help my very distressed grandson and his embattled parents.
Any suggestions?

Galaxy Sat 21-Oct-23 10:36:47

No it's not working now. They arent even creating official units, we have had a few of them for a while, they are basically finding a spare classroom and trying to create a specialist place if you know what I mean.

Luckygirl3 Sat 21-Oct-23 10:43:23

The children with SEN in our school are very much integrated into the school. They are a part of everything that goes on and feel welcomed into the community as equals with their peers. And that is good.

But in the classroom they often struggle, in spite of best efforts an individual teaching plans. There is the opposite case to be made out that they might cope better in a specialised unit.

I have never been sure which is best.

Galaxy Sat 21-Oct-23 10:43:59

I am not blaming anyone here, it's just some unprecedented numbers, but sorry OP for derailment as this doesnt help you. Is there a specialist team in your area do you know, sorry if I have missed that info. But that might be your best bet for advice. We dont work with children with adhd as a single diagnosis, (although many of the children have it alongside other conditions),but if for example a child with autism was in this situation we would as a team provide support to family and school.

Glorianny Sat 21-Oct-23 11:07:12

I'm going to start a thread about some of this stuff as we seem to have hi-jacked Struthruth's
Just before I go. Believe in your GS Struthruth. School is not the real world and though I believe in education it isn't a place for everyone. Encourage him to pursue his interests, help him find what he wants to do and support him. If the worst comes to the worst and he is out of school permanently he can still study and learn. Good Luck

silvercollie Sat 21-Oct-23 12:23:19

Glorianny I like your responses. Such a shame that most people write off the ADHD child and the Dyslexic ones too. Do folk not realise that these youngsters are gifted in a non mainstream way. Society is so keen to make everyone 'fit in'.
Well I don't. School was hell most of the time.
Went to work with animals until I devised my own formula of how to deal with the unkindness of people.
Am a work in progress!

Marydoll Sat 21-Oct-23 12:39:34

I ended up doing two post grads in Support for learning and an MSc because I felt so strongly about the initial lack of knowledge in my school. Children were being written off as not very bright or dusruptive.🤬
Thankfully things started to change.

25Avalon Sat 21-Oct-23 13:06:45

Has he actually been diagnosed with ADHD? There are many factors that need to be considered in making a diagnosis. There is a website called ADHDUK which has lots of information including pathways to follow. Many school educational psychiatrists are not authorised to make the diagnosis. If you can afford it then it may be a good idea to get a referral to a private paediatrician. This is usually via a GP. Dd did this with one of our dc when younger but she had private health insurance that covered all the family from her work.

I think such a private referral would be helpful to know exactly what you are dealing with and how best to help gs.

SaraC Sun 22-Oct-23 08:41:47

There’s a lot appearing in the psych. literature of late about depathologising ‘ADHD’ and ‘ASD’. The numbers of child and adult diagnoses of these has greatly increased in recent years. The discussions are based around the evolved brain’s capabilities for dealing with the high stress environments we are all dealing with in the modern day. Classrooms are no longer calm, safe and secure learning environments and workplaces are high output:high stress. Expectations in all areas, and stages, of life are enormous. No wonder the symptoms of chronic anxiety (with all the effects and behavioural consequences of that) are so manifest.