Is there anyone here whose estranged adult child re-established contact?

Beautiful to hear the stories of reconciliation here! I'm sure they provide a note of hope for those who are currently estranged. Sorry to hear of the situations where reconciliation wasn't possible or didn't work out. I guess it shows it can go either way.

I'm wondering if, in the cases of successful reconciliation, the past issues were discussed or the relationship just moved forward from the point at which the parties reconciled?

marionk that is awful. Estrangement is so sad. After a long ongoing estrangement from an adult child, I recently had a lovely kind email from them thanking me for being persistent and loving in spite of being CO for years.

It made my heart soar when I read those words.

I am open to more but expect the CO will continue.

How wonderful SparklyGplease let this be the beginning of better and happier times.

Yes that is awful marionk, you poor DH.

I suppose it would to a certain extent depend on what went on during the estrangement Starlady. Far more difficult IMO if there had been an attempt by the EAC to come between their siblings and their parents and/or other family members. Even if they didn't succeed, a very difficult thing for the parents to come to terms with especially if the relationship with other child(ren) had been put under intense pressure.

Yes. Me and my mum. I didn’t speak to her for two years after she did something very mean. It took me that long to get over it.

sparklygrandma….How lovely for you! For them to explain why they were thankful is so nice. Not just a blanket Thanks!

Hears hoping for a better future.

Nearly three years now with minimal contact. I send cards and presents, but that’s all we have. My youngest grandchild is four. I have seen her once since her first birthday.

Sorry here is

Sorry Paarklife1...its heart breaking isn't it?

Yes, my husband reconnected with his father and we invited him to our wedding and they continued to be in touch for many years. Not always an easy relationship but then........

Starlady, I think discussions need to be ongoing in order for healing to continue in some cases while in other cases ongoing discussion isn't necessary because the parties have reached an understanding easily-

As a parent I owe my children not only the wholehearted truth but the time involved to talk about anything they might inquire about-

My mother was different- My sister similar- Despite their responsibility in the train wreck- My sister's make-up is perfectly applied- Mom's butterfly brooch perfectly centered on her sweater- I've crows-feet and my heart on my sleeve-

My daughters cut me out of their lives when I remarried after divorcing their father. They didn't approve as he's younger than me and they will have to wait longer for their inheritance! That would have come from their father, who has 'encouraged' them away from me with money and holidays - he remarried into money. The youngest married without inviting us and both have had a child. They haven't spoken to me in almost 11 years now - emails and texts go unanswered so I have given up, they have both moved house so no idea where they are. They have also cut off all other family members - I expect they will be in touch if anything happens to my mum though!

As Chimera said the ex husbands can do a lot of interfering and lying. This has happened here too. My AC have believed his lies despite proof to the contrary being seen and still available for them to re read. His lies seem to be believed no matter how easily proved wrong.
I had the ex pils, the exh, the AC and now DGC all being the same sort of nasty. I don't need it. I don't want it. I don't deserve it. I am not taking it.
I am safer away from them all. They cant access my bank account or expect any child minding.

Ex husband's, your son's wife or your daughter's husband. It's shocking how the most obvious of lies can be believed.

You are safer away from it all Sugarpuffairy; safer and I hope happier, I know we are.

Smileless2012 I stay away now and I am safer because the AC can be violent and that is even worse than a husband who is violent.

My friend didn’t hear from her son for years . His wife apparent,y would t let him have contact with his family ,. One day he knocked on his mums door saying he had left his wife ,. It was a long wait but when the chips were down there was only one place to go .back to mum.

I salute your strong boundaries Sugarpuff?

Have a young friend who is estranged from mother. Find it all quite sad and bizarre. But who knows what goes on in other people’s relationships. I would move heaven and earth to keep on board with my adult children. But you never know what’s around the corner. Have a sibling that didn’t speak to me for 15 years. Now does very occasionally. Families are tricky...

Yes. My dd would not speak to me after I remarried after divorcing her father. It tried to speak with her, she hung up on me. I wrote to her but got no reply. I sent birthday cards they were returned unopened. Eventually I could take no more rejection so stopped trying to contact her. It went on for 5 years and I honestly thought she would never speak to me again. Then out of the blue she rang me and said she wanted to meet up. I went and she told me she was getting married. We both cried and hugged. Everything is wonderful now. She has two dc who we see regularly. I know at the time we were estranged I used to cry easily and especially on her birthday, on Mother's day and Christmas. I hope you will be reconciled but when it looks bleak don't give up hope.

Maybe believing lies, no matter how obvious, is easier to do than seeking out the truth- But even after being shown proof that something isn't true, like fake news for example, people continue to believe the lie instead- So maybe there's a bit of laziness involved and a bit of denial and defensiveness when proven wrong-

People with agendas repeat themselves, sometimes to help someone shift their unhealthy view, sometimes to get others to believe what they believe and unfortunately sometimes to get others to believe lies-

I was responding to Sugarpufffairy's post about lies ..

Smileless2012 thankyou, I know you can imagine how it felt after years of...

Namsnanny I know, very very grateful that there is love still there

Goodness Sugarpuffairy how terrible for you. The mental and verbal abuse we received from our ES was terrible but physical abuseI can't begin to imagine what you must have gone through.

Child wont have contact with me. I asked why, was told to work it out for myself. I am too old to start working things out. If cant be told what i have done wrong it ok. No inheritance all goes to a charity close to my heart. Move on with my life. If child wants to bocome friendly again it would be hard but possible.

Sorry to hear that Witchypoo?
it's very painful but I think ultimately you have to just cut your losses and move on

"I stay away now and I am safer because the AC can be violent and that is even worse than a husband who is violent."

OMG, Sugarpuffairy! I am so sorry! I'm glad you're keeping yourself safe. I hope you are building a new life, separate from them and are receiving counseling.