Child arrangement court order

Here's the thing.

Even if you represent yourself in court, there are still costs.

Time must be taken off work, potentially.

Child care must be found.

That all costs money. Money that some families don't have.

Which is why it makes sense where ever possible to avoid court.

You didn't answer them at all smile. You gave answers that aren't logically possible through the court system. You gave best case scenarios that don't apply. I am certainly not biased, I would love good GPs to see children, I know they are a benefit. My father is a benefit to my children. Going through court is the wrong way to go about all this and as I have said, I see the damage to children. Mediation, family therapy... So many good and positive options. Anyway, respectfully I am going to leave this thread, the bias is not mine and arguing against court ordered visitation being a bad idea despite so many comments explaining overland over the bad impact that has on innocent children just makes me biased against the people who are all for it. Leave children out of adult problems, they are probably happy and settled as they are.

another would be to avoid court all together by allowing at least some measure of contact between the children and their GP's

....you know that sounds like blackmail, right? Give me what I want and I won’t take you to court? Obey me or face the consequences and financial instability?

That doesn’t sound like someone who cares more for the well being of a child more than winning against Childs parents

Just because someone has had frequent contact with a child doesn’t mean that it is in the child’s best interest to continue that relationship. If the parents decide that the actions or behaviour of someone means they do not want that person around their child then that is that.

They can explain in child friendly ways why the relationship has had to be severed.

It may sound like blackmail to you Summerlove and in some cases may be the case, much like 'do what I want, give me what I want or you wont be allowed to see your GC'.

Yes I did Razzmatazz all but one regarding parents financing a court hearing without their children going without. The reality is you didn't agree with my explanations, not that I didn't give you any.

I'm not referring to GP's exhibiting behaviour that their GC's parents find unacceptable Bibbity I'm talking about parents who take their GC away from their GP's because they don't want to see their own parents anymore.

Usually people no longer want to see their own parents because of behaviour they now find unsafe or unacceptable. Often having children changes perceptions on what impact actions have on children. That’s why every generation raises their children differently from the one before.

In most cases where the parents are saying do you as I want, it is for the child’s best interest. Even if not, THEY are the parents, and they aren’t the ones threatening to take the grandparents to court over visitation.

Do you honestly not see a difference? Really and truly?

When you consider the damage already done to children notanan it seems to me that the responsibility for that damage is always placed on the GP's.

Not at all
Thats your bias.
My posts dont say that.
It is hard to have a discussion with posters who superimpose things not said to fit their own narrative.

Also awaiting an answer re what if all extended family members went to court. How many court orders do you think is okay to impose on a child?

That is why, unless exceptional circumstances (such as history if family fostering) court orders rightly tend to only be granted to immediate family.

As a parent, I decide to stop having a relationship with somebody - for whatever reasons

Why would I force my kid to do something I do not want to do myself?

Why would you force your children into not having a relationship because "for whatever reasons" you don't want one Hithere?

Yes I see the difference Summerlove I also see the difference in P's making a decision because it is what they want and not always because it would be in the best interests of their children. There in lies the problem, if P's deny their children their GP's regardless of the pre existing relationship they have with them, they are opening up the possibility of the GP's going to court.

I have no idea notanan but as the majority of GP's who do go to court for contact are denied, it's highly unlikely that other members of the extended family would be successful is it.

As you posted, "it is hard to have a discussion with posters who superimpose things not said to fit their own narrative".

I have no idea notanan but as the majority of GP's who do go to court for contact are denied, it's highly unlikely that other members of the extended family would be successful is it.

Having their parents dragged through court, even if access is denied, still takes food from thr childs mouth and affects their primary carers mental health.

You think that's harmless?

Non of my childrens gps are married (to each other). I would prob lose my job if I was taking time off for court times four!

Well then notanan you must hope that when you are a GM that you are never cut out of your GC's lives, and wont ever have to consider whether or not you should go to court for access.

Parents dragged through court, food being taken from children's mouths and primary carers mental health being affected. No, I don't think any of those would be harmless but I do think it a sweeping and rather melodramatic statement.

Smile you just showed all your true colours. I am beginning to understand your predicament more.

How do I stop this nonsense appearing in my notifications? I'm tired of hearing from parents who think taking their own children to court is a better option than being a person that their children want and need in their lives and doing the work to fix it the right way. Honestly quite disgusted. Notanan I have no doubt you have your head screwed on straight and I am sorry to read such a disgusting comment aimed at you.

IMO, If you ‘grey rock’ a narcissist and tell them they are right and you’re wrong, they are more likely to leave you alone since they can’t get the narc-fuel that they crave.

I don't have a predicament Razzamatazz, being estranged is no longer a predicament, it's something that has happened in my life but not something that controls it.

Don't know why you're disgusted; what part of my post to notanan did you find so distasteful?

Going to court to gain access to our GC was not something we wanted to do, but I wont judge others for feeling differently and acting differently.

An interesting post TwentyTwenty but as we haven't been discussing narcissists on this particular thread I fail to see its relevance unless of course you're trying to gas light me.

If you can't see it Smile you are a lost cause.

If you can't or wont support your claim that my post of 16.10 was disgusting, you shouldn't have said that it was Razzmatazz. To say "if you can't see it Smile you are a lost cause" is a cop out.

I can't see it either.
I guess I'm a lost cause too.

That's OK MissAdventure you can join the lost cause club.

So, it seems to me, IMO, not accusing or pointing at anyone.... that perhaps maybe a narcissist wouldn’t go to court for access to GCs. Narcs cannot stand losing, and there is a very high likelihood of losing in court. Losing just send a narc off the deep end..

Dunno, I’m still thinking thru this.. so I hope nobody leaps out with the daggers.

People may disagree, I'm sure.
No need for daggers though; its just a discussion.

Ah, the cogs just turned..
So, grandparents who don't go to court could be because they're narcissists now?

Hi Miss, it was figurative.. I’ve yet to actually see daggers come out of my monitor while on the Internet.

You've obviously not been on gransnet very long then.