Child arrangement court order

I was reading the other day that, often when one parent has no interest in their child, the grandparents will force them to go to court for access to the child so that they can see them. Even though the parent doesn't want to. Realistically that would mean that grandparents are using courts for access much more often than it appears.

What are peoples thoughts on that?

If my AC wasn't making an effort to his/her children I would do everything I could to get them to remain in contact, not for my sake, for theirs and primarily for the children.

I don't understand parents that walk away from their children following a divorce. It's bad enough that the children see their parents' relationship ending.

I would think it very unusual that a parent not pursuing contact with their children would be forced into doing so by their parents just so they, the GP's could see them.

Mad I think your comment was fair but it is frustrating to be accused of doing something you are very determined not to be doing. There is nothing between the lines of what I am saying here. I have been supportive on many occasions to EPs.

Razz I hope I didnt come over as accusing you of anything. That was not my intention

How could that information be available? Who would know if a parent was only going to court because it's what the GP's wanted?

What is the organisation you referred too that goes into schools to talk to children whose parents are divorcing Razz?

My understanding is that a child has to be a certain age before their feelings are taken into account, and that if a judge believes those feelings are to be taken into account before a custody ruling is made, they are spoken to by the judge usually with a social worker present.

Don't worry Mad.

Often when I get crossed wires online it's because 6 stupidsemsep humour doesn't come across in type.

I can't remember where I read it now Smile but it did seem to suggest it happens often. I don't know how they could quantify it either though. Lots of parents do not bother with their children or provide for them sadly.

Stupid sense of humour

Razz I know a case where the grandparents forced a father to go to court. He has agreed his ex wife could move, signed everything. She moved, enrolled kids in schools. Happy life.

His parents lost the plot. Forced court, he refused to pay support until she moved back.

She’s now living with family, away from her new partner, kids have no space to call their own. He’s swanning off with the younger woman he left wife for. Gives all his fought for parenting time to his parents.

Absolute nightmare.

It does seem extremely unlikely, there's the cost of going to court for a start which I suppose the GP's could cover but doing so for your parents when you couldn't be bothered to do it for yourself doesn't make a lot of sense.

Smile, how do people know this happens? In small communities people talk. A lot.

Why do it? Depends on what your parents are holding over your head as either a stick or a carrot

He sounds a real piece of work Summerlove.

Poor kids would have been better off if their father had stayed uninterested

He is.

And so are his parents. Apple didn’t fall far enough from that tree. They’d have you convinced they were so hard done by by exdil

Sounds as if the father has stayed uninterested if he gives all of his parenting time to his parents.

He does. I don’t know if they tried for access on their own and lost, or if they just went straight through him

But his poor ex wife has gone through hell, and so have the kids

I feel bad for gp if their son is uninterested in having a relationship with the gc (the son of their son)
If it was my son, I would be ashamed of him. No good parent abandons their child(ren)

I still think using the father to have access to the gc is not the way to go

I'd be ashamed too Hithere and don't agree GP's should use the father of their GC to gain access. It's a shame that they can't have contact despite their son's shameful behaviour.

In this case I’m not sure if the grandparents couldnt have had contact. Children still would have been visiting our city often.

Apparently it just wasn’t enough?

I’d be ashamed of my child as well. However I wouldn’t put my grandchildren through two large moves in a few months, forcing them to not have their own space.

I feel they behaved shamefully

It would put them in an awkward position between their child and his child and mother wouldn't it?

I get that some people don't want children but, men often don't take responsibility for the contraception which if they weren't morally bankrupt should mean they take care of the result.

Razzmatazz123... I think you've unintentionally illustrated my earlier point quite well.

Which was, is there any merit in hurting peoples feelings by misquoting spurious, unsubstantiated, or exaggerated and bias stories, containing for the most part hearsay?

I have my thoughts on the subject, but what do others think?

Nam you have lost me. Are you saying I should not have added to the discussion what I read about grandparents getting aceess through their child who did not want to be a parent?

Razz, the father would have had parenting time, or I’m sure they could have asked exDil. Either way, I’m sure she now doesn’t go out of her way for them.

The only way of knowing for certain if a father fought for contact with his children because his P's wanted to remain in contact with his children, is if a father said that was the only reason.

In the majority of cases joint custody is awarded at the time of the divorce and if the parents can't agree on a division of time, the judge will. Once the ruling is made it would only be necessary for one of the parents to go back to court if the other were deliberately blocking their access to their children.

I wonder what would have happened in the example you gave Summerlove if the mother had challenged the father's change of mind in court? We are all aware I'm sure of how difficult it can be to get a father to pay the child support he's been ordered to by the court, like getting blood out of a stone in some cases, but it is a legal not to mention moral obligation and a father refusing to make payment is breaking the law.

If she didn't go back to court it may have been an opportunity missed as the children had been settled into their new home and school. I'd like to think that any judge would question the sense in up rooting the children again just because the father had changed his mind. Especially as the mother would have testified that the father was taking no interest in them.

You might have missed it Razz but I asked you the name of the organisation going into schools to talk to children whose parents are going through a divorce. I've not come across this before so am interested to know.

Summerloves example is not unlikely it happened to a friend too but she won.

We live in an area where unforyunately it takes 2 salaries to rent. He changed his mind about fatherhood very late in the day and left her high and dry, her parents were paying half her rent so she decided to move to her home town with the baby where she could afford a home for her and baby on her salary.

Fine. Father didnt care
Till GPs got behind him
Mediator was awful: wanted mum to agree to send breastfed baby for overnight stays with a father who had previously shown no interest.

Went to court. She won. She moved in the end, but took months and cost her family a fortune

But was driven by the GPs!