My ( near due date in a far flung country) Dil told me that my son wanted the two of them to be alone with the baby for the first month of it's life. She has a large extended family and was upset that DS did not want them to see the baby. He had walked out on her and I ended up comforting her.
To cut a long story short, he read the messages and has now cut me out as well. In a way I understand this as I understood her upset that he was trying to prevent her seeing her family. He also wanted her not to go to hospital for the birth and had even stopped her having a scan. I have concerns about his behaviour as it mimics his Father's controlling/abusive behaviour. I know that the truth hurts and maybe I should not have advised her at all, but she was going to go out in the dark and look for him at 8 and a half months pregnant and I advised her to put her feet up.
My son and I used to talk via a chat app as he's far away and he has deleted me from it. I do understand that he's upset but I cannot take back what I said since it was the truth and I am dismayed at his controlling behaviour. His Dad was always walking out on me- and I know how it feels to be in that situation.
If I had ignored Dil and not comforted her, maybe he would still be talking to me. Honestly, I despair. I separated from my abusive ex when he was little and did my best to bring him up in the right ways with lots of love.
The abusive ways are showing, though- too much to explain here, but he is very manipulative - so I can only think it must be genetic. I watched a TV program called Nature vs Nurture where these people brought up wolf cubs as though they were puppies, with lots of love. But the genetics won as they became aggressive and wolf- like despite all the love.
A few months ago he did threaten to cut off contact if I didn't give him £60,000.00 anyway- which I don't have. So maybe it's for the best. Obviously I still love him, but I can't be held to ransom for money I don't possess.
Lavazza1st Thu 26-Sep-19 10:56:56
Sara65 Thu 26-Sep-19 11:09:09
Namsnanny Thu 26-Sep-19 14:45:11
paddyann Thu 26-Sep-19 16:02:40
Rebellious Thu 26-Sep-19 16:19:29
sodapop Thu 26-Sep-19 16:33:44
Hithere Thu 26-Sep-19 16:34:05
Rebellious Thu 26-Sep-19 16:43:07
Lavazza1st Thu 26-Sep-19 17:22:49
Lavazza1st Thu 26-Sep-19 17:25:58
Lavazza1st Thu 26-Sep-19 17:40:59
Smileless2012 Thu 26-Sep-19 17:41:45
Smileless2012 Thu 26-Sep-19 17:44:17
Lavazza1st Thu 26-Sep-19 17:51:20
Rebellious Thu 26-Sep-19 17:51:22
Hetty58 Thu 26-Sep-19 17:55:16
Hithere Thu 26-Sep-19 18:00:26
Lavazza1st Thu 26-Sep-19 18:04:11
Lavazza1st Thu 26-Sep-19 18:06:37
Rebellious Thu 26-Sep-19 18:11:00
Coolgran65 Thu 26-Sep-19 18:30:07
quizqueen Thu 26-Sep-19 18:40:37
Lavazza1st Thu 26-Sep-19 19:45:06
Lavazza1st Thu 26-Sep-19 20:04:39
Smileless2012 Thu 26-Sep-19 20:18:25