AEC thread. Feel free to chat or add helpful resources here.

www.youtube.com/channel/UC43mWclEzLjvVUT2jPs_7UA/videos?view=0&sort=dd&flow=grid This is another great resource @Starblaze

I agree ananimous "let people heal in whatever way they can".

2. That she can fix the relationship — with her mother or anyone else. Daughters with an anxious-preoccupied style of attachment anoint themselves as “fixers,” without necessarily seeing the pattern. Even though the daughter feels powerless most of the time, paradoxically her tendency to blame herself and devolve into self-criticism — the habit of focusing on your character flaws when things go wrong — also makes her feel that if she could only change herself, things will improve. Her tendency to try to bend herself into a shape that will make all disagreements and problems go away permeates all of her adult relationships, often with deleterious results.

Just read this in your link Starblaze. Wow ...I really recognise that in someone I know ...it sort of explains a lot to me about them in a way I had not thought of before.

Isn't it interesting that EGPs are playing out their toxic patterns in Gransnet toward EAC: Angrily ignoring boundaries, stubborn, lack self-awareness, over-emotional communication styles, personal attacks, mocking sneering patronising, correcting judgemental attitudes. Learn and grow lovelies.

Are you reading a different thread aninimous to the one I've read? I haven't seen any of that? Can you refer please?

What's called 'supply'? I don't mock the mental health profession. When have I done that?

It's really odd that this is on a thread for grandparents.

@Chewbacca I'm not surprised. Only those with emotional literacy will/could pick up on it, unfortunately.

Adult Estranged Children thread?

That can't be grannies can it?

I just don't understand what you are doing here.

@Gonegirl Still no Google?

@Gonegirl No, I'm staying here, you overstep your authority, I think.

I don't know what you mean about Google. I know what boundaries are in the usual sense of the word.

Wouldn't you get more sympathy on Mumsnet?

I have no authority whatsoever.

Ah, back to the passive-aggressive attitude again, nice. I am new here, but what a baptism of fire it has been!

Call this fire?!

@Gonegirl "Wouldn't you get more sympathy on Mumsnet?" How offensive.
I see from your posting that you've repeated that bullying statement elsewhere- Are you the Gransnet resident troll? BLOCKED!

@Chewbacca I'm not surprised. Only those with emotional literacy will/could pick up on it, unfortunately.

Ah! So that's what you mean when you say judge, sneer and mock.

Got it now!

Only those with emotional literacy will/could pick up on it, unfortunately.

And then

Ah, back to the passive-aggressive attitude again, nice.

Physician heal thyself?

@Chewbacca Also BLOCKED! Argue with someone else.

Chewbacca says, "Why, if you have taken a thoroughly well considered decision to terminate a relationship with parents, for whatever reason, why are you not at peace and comfortable with that decision? Why has your decision not enabled you to move on with the life you've chosen?"

Answer -- Why after 5 years+ of repeating, "It's all my DiL's 'fault' my son is gone and I can't see my grands." IS okay for some to say/do but an EAC is not allowed to feel an equal long-term equivalent OR express that same long term impact of our situation as well?

Being estranged for any length of time must be difficult but EAC who have gone NC we have often been in that pain our entire LIFE.

It is such a shame that useful links and genuine comments and questions on this thread are being taken over by endless arguing. This seems to be happening on a lot of threads at the moment and means that the chance to discuss, share, support, constructively criticise/comment are being lost. That is such a pity

"I'm not toxic!" scream people who continue to engage in toxic behaviour.

"adult children are toxic" they declare while AC try patiently to explain what the problem is.

"you must answer my questions, listen to me and except my opinions or I have the right to shout you down wherever I like" cry people who can't communicate respectfully to adult children but claim not to know why they have lost their own.

"You are the problem here" they announce, jubilantly jumping up amd down whilst denying their own behaviour has pushed adult children who have tried to set clear boundaries into frustrated response.

Where are we blocked from?

Being estranged for any length of time must be difficult but EAC who have gone NC we have often been in that pain our entire LIFE.

That's fair enough HolyHannah, thanks for responding. I'm sorry you've not yet reached a state of peace and I sincerely hope that, in the not too distant future, you do.

Can you block people?

I do hope that’s a new innovation here because there’s a few I’d like to try that on ?