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Estrangement

AEC thread. Feel free to chat or add helpful resources here.

(1001 Posts)
Starblaze Mon 25-Nov-19 22:22:20

A few I still need to work on a bit more here but I remember being this person and how unhappy I was.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/tech-support/201811/12-wrong-assumptions-unloved-daughter-makes-about-life?fbclid=IwAR2_mPcSuRMrJAtTuVEb8iWrHaCzJccxP_B0UQVAep-UMGOq1VXenp-nz8Y

Chewbacca Sun 01-Dec-19 19:27:28

Starblaze your post @ 19.19 is perplexing. I've searched back through the entire thread and can't match up any of your quotes to anything that's been posted here. Giant see where anyone has "screamed/declared/cry/announce" either. For the most part, there has been some erudite and well balanced questions and answers in your absence.

Please can you refer?

Starblaze Sun 01-Dec-19 19:28:52

Again peeps, toxic people get much angrier if you just ignore them.

Madgran77 Sun 01-Dec-19 19:28:59

Oh dear once again I don't know if you mean me Starblaze I have never accused anyone of being toxic. I have never suggested anyone has to answer my question, shouted someone down on GN ...at least I don't think I have and certainly not intentionally. I don't know if the way I express myself is coming over badly. I do think it is a pity that this thread keeps getting lost in arguments instead of being supportive and providing useful resources.

I am also not estranged from my AC but for particular reasons I have a genuine interest in carefully hearing and considering the perspectives of ACs, whilst maintaining relationships that are very important to me.

As I said earlier I found one particular point in your link so useful, thankyou for that.

Chewbacca Sun 01-Dec-19 19:30:08

toxic people get much angrier if you just ignore them.

Ain't that the truth!

Starblaze Sun 01-Dec-19 19:31:08

Madgran unless you are doing it I think it's safe to assume it's not about you. I'm glad you find the thread helpful as it was intended to be

Starblaze Sun 01-Dec-19 19:33:13

Ananimous I watched your link washing up. I felt it spoke for me as an estranged adult child and too me as a parent of an adult child. Thank you, it was extremely helpful.

HolyHannah Sun 01-Dec-19 19:35:24

Starblaze -- I agree. Smileless proclaims "No one is trying to silence anyone here." I provided an example of someone obviously trying to silence another.

She did not agree or 'see' it, instead she assumed I was saying that was what she said instead of recognizing that what she said was wrong. Yes, there are people here who want to silence others. So her statement is factually incorrect.

Some also seem to continue to not 'see' when people have been called, "little girls" or told to "grow up" (telling another adult to 'grow up' is gross for the record). Wanting to maintain NC = "mean" or evil etc.

Starblaze Sun 01-Dec-19 19:42:15

HolyHannah I'm 51, if that's a little girl then that's amazing

Chewbacca Sun 01-Dec-19 19:42:57

confused

ananimous Sun 01-Dec-19 19:43:50

Yes you can block - you just ignore the bad behaviour and hope it goes away somewhere else yawns

Chewbacca Sun 01-Dec-19 19:47:29

I wish you luck with that aninimous! We tried that on the "Support for estranged grandparents" threads but the buggers just kept on butting in! wink

ananimous Sun 01-Dec-19 19:47:35

@Starblaze Here's another great resource link... www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DGYEkIh7Wg The invisible wounds of narcissistic abuse smile

ananimous Sun 01-Dec-19 19:49:03

'HolyHannah Agreed.

ananimous Sun 01-Dec-19 19:49:28

@HolyHannah Agreed.

Madgran77 Sun 01-Dec-19 19:49:50

Yes you can block - you just ignore the bad behaviour and hope it goes away somewhere else yawns

I wish you luck with that aninimous! We tried that on the "Support for estranged grandparents" threads but the buggers just kept on butting in!

It seems to be increasingly happening on a lot of threads. A real shame!

Starblaze Sun 01-Dec-19 19:52:32

Madgran the solution to that happening on other threads was not to come do it here. That's escalating a problem, not putting a stop to it. I haven't been to the support thread and been anything other than supportive.

Chewbacca Sun 01-Dec-19 19:52:59

It is Madgran. Indeed it is.

Starblaze Sun 01-Dec-19 19:58:10

There are people here trying to get this thread taken down because EACs aren't wanted here. That is what is happening and the majority of threads lost were EAC threads and a thread that contained evidence that I was being bullied here. That is what has happened.

Smileless2012 Sun 01-Dec-19 20:06:14

No HolyHannah you're doing it again aren't you and why bother? Why attribute something that was posted to a poster who didn't post it when everyone can see, if they want too that it is, that that isn't the case.

Do not make posts that refer to me in the third person when I am obviously currently posting on this thread. If you have something to say about me, then say it too me.

Starblaze Sun 01-Dec-19 20:09:06

Also a prominent rude person who claims to be an EAC isn't, I've seen them slip up and prove themselves a liar twice now. It's very interesting.

Starblaze Sun 01-Dec-19 20:10:18

Please stop policing posts Smileless. If someone says something to you, perhaps you should take it at face value rather than try to tell them what they meant when they have already explained it.

Starblaze Sun 01-Dec-19 20:10:59

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HolyHannah Sun 01-Dec-19 20:11:37

Smileless --- You said, "No one is trying to silence anyone here."

I provided a quote from another person who said, "Think it might be time you did just that - move on. Perhaps back to Mumsnet where your sort are better tolerated." and "And that goes for the rest of the aggresive co-dils on here."

How is that not someone trying to silence another?

Smileless2012 Sun 01-Dec-19 20:18:21

Don't you get tired of the same old rhetoric Starblaze, the old EAC aren't wanted here. You were posting on the support thread at the beginning of October, no one said you weren't wanted.

The 3 threads that were lost were not EAC threads, they were threads about estrangement. Not one of those threads "contained evidence" that you were being bullied, the evidence they did contain was another poster was being bullied and not only were you more than happy to be a part of it, when it appeared to be calming down you did your best to reignite it.

ananimous Sun 01-Dec-19 20:21:52

tchconfused

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