EP's say things like, "And so I feel that many of our estranged or semi-estranged children don’t or won’t appreciate our efforts to be in relationship with them. They don’t see us as having value in their lives. Our sending texts or always being nice probably doesn’t mean to them what we hope we convey. My opinion is that most of these EC do not share our values. Will they mature out of this selfishness? Perhaps. And yes, I always write something to these young women about how their parents may feel about the estrangement and encourage a different perspective. I often get a thank you for giving them something to think about. I am almost always the only responder not saying how wonderful life is once you go totally no contact with these so called toxic parents and families. But I have gotten responses that say how hurt the adult child is that I would say they should consider how their parents feel about no contact. This use of the word hurt makes me chuckle. So sensitive or immature that a nicely worded and kind response of how the parents might feel is seen as threatening. And yes again, different personalities and different perspectives."
And, "For an adult child to “cut off” a parent because they have opposite views or conflicts or are “annoying” is absolutely the height of self-centeredness. It’s an extreme response. It’s immature. You can still have separate lives with occasional contact that is friendly and caring. Even if differences aren’t or can’t be resolved. You don’t have to be enmeshed best friends. Even a superficial relationship still shows some love and respect to the person who raised you and loved you. But there is no need for animosity and complete shunning. That is deliberate harm. Or simply a selfish way of coping with their own feelings."
Question, how 'mature' is your thought process when you believe you are the decider of what/whom is and is not mature? Just because another ADULT is not doing what you want or not doing things the way you think they should be, does not = the other adult is immature.
Question, because EP's see their now adult children as perpetually 'less' mature then them, is this why any objection made about their behavior, to them, is viewed as AC being "disrespectful" or "abusive"? This I kind of wonder at... On one hand many EP's view their AC as "immature" and yet say they are being 'abused' by these "immature adults". Were these parents equally 'abused' by their truly immature kids when they were minors? A parent who can't tolerate being called a 'poopy-head' by a toddler needs to learn more about parenting as do EP's that cling to, "They are just immature brats."
Water Pollution -“ A National Disgrace”? A case for renationalisation?
Good Morning Good Friday 29th March 2024
Things you find stressful that other people don't notice.