The 'Perception Filter'...

Sparkling please stop policing threads and telling other members that they have issues and should go away. You have no right to say things like that.

You came to Holyhannah and her thread. That is your choice. We also get to make our own choices.

Sparkling -- Read what I write and explain how what I am saying is "wrong". Ad hominem attacks are so classic of dysfunctional thinkers.

"You need 'help'." (from your point of view) is not a healthy way to disagree in a conversation.

It really falls back to, "I don't like what you are 'saying' so just be quiet!"

This isn't HolyHannah's thread Starblaze no one owns a thread just because they started it and Sparkling didn't say anyone should go away.

Smileless I was paraphrasing but that's what was implied. Also this thread is here because *Holyhannah started it. It is your choice to comment on it as it is for Sparkling

No one forces any of us to read threads if we don't like or agree with the OP.

Madgran, you keep trying to sort and separate the chaotic, interconnected nature of multi-faceted relationships in an effort to prove that "one" in a collective, connected bunch isn't accountable for their reflection, refraction, interaction or lack of

I am NOT trying to prove that anyone is not responsible for their reflection, refraction, interaction or lack of! I am also NOT trying to separate anything to prove anything.

I am also not telling other people what they are saying , trying to say, trying to do or anything else!!

I keep saying "Moving on"... and then coming back because I am being told what I am trying to say or trying to do, inaccurately. Back to the Oozelum Bird methinks!!! Sorry everyone else, sure this must be very boring for you watching the Hamster Wheel of repetition!

We'll have to agree to disagree on that one Starblaze but paraphrasing or not, it's wrong to accuse a poster of telling another poster to go away, when that is not what they said.

Madgran "I am also not telling other people what they are saying, trying to say, trying to do or anything else"; unlike some.

What are you doing then, Madgran?

Oh have you asked Sparkling what she meant then Smileless?

Well. Context clues: telling EACs they should not be on gransnet has literally happened. You didn't call them up on it when it was said outright so honestly I don't expect you to care that Holyhannah has been badly slandered right in front of you now.

Smileless, arrived with the kool-aid again- Everyone, drink up!

Or catch a ride on Madgran's hamster wheel and loose your lunch!

MotherofDragons you can understand why it's easier to lay blame with a third party yet you don't seem to be able to accept that some estrangements are because of the influence of a third party

I can accept that people are capable of just about anything, so I have no problem believing that some estrangements are because of the influence of a third party. I am not sure why that is what you inferred from my post Smileless when was I was actually addressing was your comment of:

Yes that's true but doesn't apply when a previously solid relationship falls apart when a third party becomes involved

With:

You can never truly know if a relationship is solid because you can never truly what another person is thinking or know how another person is feeling. It’s impossible

Can you accept that you can’t know for certain whether you have a “solid” relationship with someone or not because you can never know what another person is thinking or feeling?

What are you doing then, Madgran

Joining in a discussion!!! Feeling somewhat bemused by the good old hamster wheel and not losing my lunch or even the delicious strawberry cheesecake that I ate this evening!!

And pondering on the dynamics of how individuals respond to different discussions and different scenarios in forums and face to face and whether those responses are similar or very different

What are you doing then, Madgran

Joining in a discussion!!

I thought you were moving on!

You’re right Motherofdragons, no one can ever know what another person thinks. You can however give the benefit of the doubt over so many years as a kind, respectful and loving person and you would expect to receive the same in return

I see so many on here striving to understand another person’s perception of their suffering and some refusing to acknowledge anything other than one way - their way!

I speak as someone who was suddenly estranged, struggled to find an apologetic and understanding way through but eventually was allowed to be heard and accepted as an ever loving parent and adoring grandparent whose respect for different parenting skills never wavered.

We can all be different as parents but surely those differences can be accommodated and managed as adults. My own parents weren’t perfect, no more than I was, but forgiveness and moving forward on a personal level with our own children is a successful outcome, however imperfect it might seem to the pedants.

Yes I'm aware of saying that rather a lot Motherofdragons I keep saying I'm moving on but when further comments are made on an interpretation (that I think is sincerely meant but from my perspective is a misinterpretation) of what I have said or am doing, then I am not comfortable to leave it!

Either way hope noone else has lost their lunch on the hamster wheel. I wonder if it is a Golden one!

MotherofDragons -- I see what you are saying and I really should have added "*in a relationship where the parties initially start as unequal."* As in a parent/child relationship.

Someone who starts as a power/authority in a relationship can fail to allow that relationship to evolve in a healthy way. When that happens, the 'lesser' in the relationship may become less and less happy while the original authority still considers the situation 'happy' and fulfilling for both sides.

Certainly two equal adults entering a mutual relationship can and in a healthy relationship SHOULD have both parties knowing the relationship is solid.

I apologize for the confusion and hope that clarifies my meaning.

Madgran77 I’m just thankful that the debate on Newtons Orbital Cradle was avoided!

Yes, you'd like to let another's interpretation of your art rest- But you can't! You have to return atop a cherry red hamster wheel to the gallery to interpret your own work for them!

"" No,no .. I used this shade of green because it closely matched the shade of Smileless's (say that 3 times fast) lime Kool-Aid, and painted the cream colored clouds to suggest cheese-cake .. ""

Can you ever watch Coraline too many times? : )

I rather fancied the Newtons Orbital Cradle Motherofdragons. The full name is "Newtons Orbital Cradle Balance Balls" ...but I decided a scientific debate on that would be a step too far!

Coraline. Now that was an interesting film

I'm absolutely the same offline, only difference being I'm better liked. Literally the same. I didn't think that was too unusual? lol

Maybe the difference in real life is that people can't assign a tone to my voice or a different meaning to my words. Except those like my mum

Maybe the difference in real life is that people can't assign a tone to my voice or a different meaning to my words

Interesting Starblaze I think it is harder to do that face face certainly. I sometimes think people say more on a forum than they do face to face, depending on the subject. And I think maybe people express them selves differently when writing. Generally I think I prefer face to face.

I don't have a filter, I say what I think. At least once a day that means saying something ridiculously stupid and embarrassing myself.