Gransnet forums

Estrangement

Hope For Estranged Grandparents

(929 Posts)
worthitall Tue 16-Jun-20 16:30:44

I’ve read some posts where people feel it is not worth the fight to see their grandchildren and others which suggest grandparents don’t have such rights - which is correct.

The fact in such matters though is that the rights belong to the children, including rights to see their grandparents unless there is a very good reason why not - and that Is where most arguments lay and a compelling and realistic case has to be made to support 'why not'?

How am I so sure? The Family Court has given me permission to see my grandchildren on a regular basis. Cafcass had no objections to, nor hesitation in recommending, access and the court was able to see that the cutting off of contact was not about the children but about the parent.

The court has enabled me to restart the lovely relationship I always had with my grandchildren.

Do not be afraid to go to court if it is the only way you can speak to your grandchildren. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Good luck

Smileless2012 Sun 28-Jun-20 11:44:59

Chewbacca grin.

Smileless2012 Sun 28-Jun-20 11:44:22

I agree with you MissA

As you say Wibby "it's heartbreaking being estranged from your kids and grandkids" and letting go is a very hard thing to do.

We never really knew our eldest GC at the time of our estrangement and I really believe we were lucky in that respect. It must be so much harder if you had an established relationship with your GC to have that taken from you.

Going to court was not an option for us but I understand why it is for some and as long as the priority for those GP's is the welfare of their GC, I wish them well.

Chewbacca Sun 28-Jun-20 11:36:55

True enough MissA; but it seems that, if they can't get 100% of posters to agree with them 100% of the time, they go off and start a couple of new threads, in the same vein, in the hope that they will!

MissAdventure Sun 28-Jun-20 11:30:30

That's the same view as the others on this thread.
Not that you'd think so by reading it. smile

Wibby Sun 28-Jun-20 11:18:24

I honestly dont think going to court is the answer, its going to cause all sorts of problems and make your adult children even more resentful than they already are. Yes I know from my own experience its heartbreaking being estranged from your kids and grandkids. Letting go is hard but you have to for your own sanity!

Nonnie Sun 28-Jun-20 11:07:42

Starblaze Sat 27-Jun-20 18:02:40 you have insulted me, again! Still no apology for any of the insults or twisted posts.

Of course they could be used, whether they have been or not we don't know because Family Courts are private. You can neither prove they have or prove they haven't so what's your point?

HolyHannah Sat 27-Jun-20 19:01:06 you quoted that so should be able to show me where it is! I cannot see it which is shy I asked you to verify the claim. If I could see it I wouldn't ask. Obviously!

Just in case anyone doesn't know, we may not have a thread about a thread. Think that could well be what some are doing as things have been said which they cannot verify.
Starblaze Sat 27-Jun-20 18:18:47 yes I am 'intelligent enough" to know exactly what you meant and so are other posters. You enjoy being unpleasant (euphemism) to people who do not agree with you. Some of us simply accept that others have different views. Some of us simply present facts.

Smileless2012 Sun 28-Jun-20 10:59:11

A lovely post Dawnsmile

Dawn22 Sun 28-Jun-20 10:56:35

Pantglas2
A true hero you are in a quiet sort of way. You put your grandchildren 's welfare and their obvious need to have a good bond and relationship with their parents over and above your wish at the time to have a relationship with them. So hard but you had to do that for them then.
Take care now from Dawn.

Nonnie Sun 28-Jun-20 09:55:58

Starblaze Sat 27-Jun-20 17:20:38 so why do it?

Starblaze Sat 27-Jun-20 17:24:12 you assume too much. What do you know about my education? Goodness me, what lengths will go to with your gas lighting?

Chewbacca Sat 27-Jun-20 17:47:43 don't hold you breath, just add it to all the other apologies she hasn't given.

Madgran77 Sat 27-Jun-20 17:48:41 keep trying but you are wasting your breath, I have been saying that throughout this thread but it doesn't get through. Instead I have been accused of all sorts of things and never had an apology.

Smileless2012 Sat 27-Jun-20 19:48:46

You're right MissA. It reminds me of a quote from Martin Luther about society (not Martin Luther King) in which he likened society to a drunken man who, having fallen off one side of the horse, climbs back on and falls off the other sidesmile.

MissAdventure Sat 27-Jun-20 19:43:04

Besides which, it has nothing whatsoever to do with this thread. smile

MissAdventure Sat 27-Jun-20 19:33:54

I have never seen smileless say it is 100 percent her dil's fault, but then again, its difficult to find quite a few things that have been said on here.

A while back there were some people who were able to go back years into members posts, but it proved nothing at all, actually.

Smileless2012 Sat 27-Jun-20 19:29:37

No need to correct you Pantglas you are entirely correct in your summarysmile. Our d.i.l. being at fault for our estrangement and our son emotionally abusing us with 'his' decision to estrange us are of course not mutually exclusive, and why anyone would constantly want to say different is beyond me.

Pantglas2 Sat 27-Jun-20 19:11:29

And yet HolyHannah I’ve always understood Smileless situation to be one of good relations with her son and DIL until DIL decided that wasn’t to continue (for whatever reason or for none at all). Again I believe, she was already estranged from her own parents and has influenced Smileless son to do the same.....and that is emotional abuse, IMO.

Feel free to correct me smileless if I’ve gotten it wrong.

HolyHannah Sat 27-Jun-20 19:01:06

Nonnie -- "Sorry I didn't realise you are new and don't know how this works. When someone posts your name and date and time you posted they are talking about what you said in that post. Therefore I am asking you about what you posted at Fri 26-Jun-20 19:28:12."

Smileless has maintained that her DiL is at fault for their family estrangement saying she is 100% at fault. I'm sure you can find somewhere she has said that...

However, Smileless has now said, "When our son estranged us and prevented us from seeing our GC it was the beginning of his abuse toward us, not an end to abuse because prior to that there had been no abuse." on Mon 15-Jun-20 19:37:05 on the No Contact thread...

Smileless2012 Sat 27-Jun-20 18:35:18

When we've "all calmed down" you've forgotten to put your usual "lol" on the end, you know as you do so you can pretend you were only joking.

Starblaze Sat 27-Jun-20 18:32:13

I think I will return to this topic when you have all calmed down

Chewbacca Sat 27-Jun-20 18:31:42

Aww, shucks, thanks! Xx

Starblaze Sat 27-Jun-20 18:30:38

Chewbacca I really do feel sad for you.

Smileless2012 Sat 27-Jun-20 18:29:32

I don't think there's any doubt whatsoever that Nonnie's intelligent enough, with or without a formal education.

Chewbacca Sat 27-Jun-20 18:26:48

Nonnie is hopefully intelligent enough

When in a hole......

Starblaze Sat 27-Jun-20 18:18:47

Nonnie is hopefully intelligent enough to read my comment in the context it was written. If not, she will see my clarification.

Smileless2012 Sat 27-Jun-20 18:16:50

That's totally incorrect. Some of us were discussing whether it was possible as the law stands for a P to go to prison for failing to comply with a GP's court order. Which it is

Others were going on and on about 'this will never happen' and accusing posters of scaremongering. There were posts about fighting for the safety and welfare of innocent children, which incidentally everyone was doing. And then of course there were the usual posts about abusive GP's being given access to their GC, perpetuating the myth that all EP's are abusers making all EGP's potential abusers too.

Ah yes Madgran even that Oozelum Bird must have wondered what on earth was going on on this thread.

Chewbacca Sat 27-Jun-20 18:13:29

I haven't insulted Nonnie

Nonnie might not agree when she sees it.

Chewbacca Sat 27-Jun-20 18:12:13

Oozelum Bird model of posting! grin love it! grin