Gransnet forums


Your money or your grandsons

(287 Posts)
JGran Mon 28-Sep-20 13:36:13

My son is refusing to allow me to see my grandsons for one year now. At first I thought it was because of my cancer struggle, then Covid, but he wants me to sign over the house to him before he'll think about it.

Bibbity Mon 28-Sep-20 13:38:59

That is abuse and blackmail.
Please do not do this. A man who makes that threat will never give you what you want but will have no problem throwing you out.

EllanVannin Mon 28-Sep-20 13:41:59

How disgusting is this ? Tell him to take a running jump.

FlexibleFriend Mon 28-Sep-20 13:43:00

Before you know it you'll be homeless, what a money grabbing moron.

glammanana Mon 28-Sep-20 13:45:03

Don't even think about it he will have you out of the house as soon as he could if you did this.Have you any other family members to put him in his place do not be browbeaten by this bully.

Pantglas2 Mon 28-Sep-20 13:50:05

And that’s a no from me too!

craftyone Mon 28-Sep-20 13:53:34

see a solicitor and get a will cutting him out completely after your death. What a piece of

Starblaze Mon 28-Sep-20 14:02:48

I think you need some professional support with this Jgran

Call Hourglass, it's a helpline for elder abuse

0808 808 8141

PetitFromage Mon 28-Sep-20 14:03:37

How old are your grandsons and what does their mother think of all this? When I first read your thread I couldn't believe it could be true as surely nobody could behave this badly. But, assuming it is true, I would not give in and I would cut him out of your will. He sounds like a psychopath.

quizqueen Mon 28-Sep-20 14:08:31


Luckygirl Mon 28-Sep-20 14:09:12

Dear dear - I am so sorry your son is behaving so badly. Do not give in to his blackmail - if only because you have no way of keeping him to his word.

Yu must be so disappointed in him - I do feel for you.

sharon103 Mon 28-Sep-20 14:09:13

No, no, no!
That's blackmail.
If he was my son I'd have told him what to do with himself.

mokryna Mon 28-Sep-20 14:10:53

I would advise you to get legal advice, have your money put in a trust for you grandsons so that only they, when they are old enough, can use it, so he can never touch it.

Namsnanny Mon 28-Sep-20 14:12:15

You have my sympathy. flowers
Is he your only family?

H1954 Mon 28-Sep-20 14:12:37


I think you need some professional support with this Jgran

Call Hourglass, it's a helpline for elder abuse

0808 808 8141

I agree, what a dreadful man your son is! Personally, I would be tempted to cut him out of the will too. Your home is your security, he should be looking after you and supporting you in your advancing years not pressuring you and blackmailing you.

Jaxjacky Mon 28-Sep-20 14:39:06

What a nasty piece of work, even if you were daft enough to do this, which I sincerely hope you’re not, he’ll use this threat again and again.
We don’t know the whole situation, age of GS’s, whereabouts and your relationship with them, or their mother.
Heed the words of other posters and my thoughts are with you.

Madgran77 Mon 28-Sep-20 15:09:48

I think that you should contact "Hourglass" asap as Starblaze says. You need advice and support with this. flowers

Callistemon Mon 28-Sep-20 15:11:32

Are you a new poster, JGran?
If so welcome and I hope you find the help you so clearly need.

GillT57 Mon 28-Sep-20 15:18:04

See a solicitor, cut him out of your will and leave a note with your solicitor to be given to your grandchildren on your death; detail what a piece of sh*t their Father is, and why they have not been able to spend time with their grandmother. How awful for you. Do you have any other family that you could tell about this? Others need to know what he is like and why he is out of your will. If you don't have other family, you must sort out your will asap or he will get your house and estate anyway.

Smileless2012 Mon 28-Sep-20 15:23:07

Agree with what everyone else has said JGran. The ultimate in using children as weapons; disgraceful.

welbeck Mon 28-Sep-20 15:31:40

this is coercive control, which is an offence. in uk.
report to police.
you may need protection.
good luck.

Mapleleaf Mon 28-Sep-20 15:36:49

Do not sign anything. He sounds truly obnoxious - seek legal advice ASAP. He appears to be attempting to blackmail you, using the grandchildren as a weapon. Disgraceful.

sodapop Mon 28-Sep-20 15:38:23

Sorry to hear this JGran I agree with everyone else, even though he is your son you clearly cannot trust him. Don't agree to his demands as he will renege on his promise, which was only to consider things. I'm sad for you as it means being cut off from your grandsons. Bear in mind this would still probably happen if you agreed.

Hithere Mon 28-Sep-20 15:39:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chewbacca Mon 28-Sep-20 15:41:40

I can only echo what others have said; no, no, no. And I'm truly sorry that your son has demonstrated how vile a human being can be.