Your money or your grandsons

JGran please come back and respond to the advice you have been given, people are concerned.

Good grief, don’t give him anything. What’s happened to make him like this? Is there a story to tell? Do you have other children? A husband? Presumably you’ve talked, and you’ve had cancer as well. ?.We don’t really know very much. Sounds like you need to sort your Will fast.

Good advice on here I can only add what disgraceful behaviour from a son. He will THINK about letting you see him. Tell him to get lost and write him out of your will. Tell him you will leave it to a charity for abused women

So sorry you have been ill Jgran, hope you are now recovering.
As for your sons behaviour I agree with everyone else that you should definitely not do as he demands. Suggest you get some legal advice and do not be persuaded.
Do you have other family or good friends who you can speak to?

Phoenix I’m sure this was unintentional but your reply is phrased and reads like an order with a ‘please’ tacked on the front. JGran had only been gone a mere two hours and twenty or so minutes when you wrote your comment, it doesn’t appear that JGran is in any immediate danger..she likely has other things to do along with all that she’s going through right now. More pressure is the last thing she needs and who knows she may not want to say anymore than she has, and that’s okay. Give her some time.

You'd think, though, that if someone is so distressed, they'd be anxiously waiting for replies.

Are you ok JGran?

smoothie

Phoenix I’m sure this was unintentional but your reply is phrased and reads like an order with a ‘please’ tacked on the front. JGran had only been gone a mere two hours and twenty or so minutes when you wrote your comment, it doesn’t appear that JGran is in any immediate danger..she likely has other things to do along with all that she’s going through right now. More pressure is the last thing she needs and who knows she may not want to say anymore than she has, and that’s okay. Give her some time.

It sounds like someone who is concerned that the OP is all right to me smoothie

Yes that's what it seems like to me Callistemon concern for JGran

Focus on the statement JGran made, rather than criticise Phoenix for her well meant enquiry as to whether JGran is ok.
My view is the same as others, this is outrageous behaviour from a son. What a dreadful way to behave. Good link from Starblaze. See a solicitor, do not sign over your home

Do not give in to blackmail.
do not sign over your home
If you do, you'll find the goalposts move yet again.

How is the relationship with your son? Was anything promised to him?
There has to be a lot of background information that can help give better advice

I think I’ll swerve this thread.
?

Urmstongran -- I agree.

I'm sorry that you haven't been well, JGran.
I'm sure we have all had problems, on and off, with our children, but this is total left field. Blackmail at its worst.

I agree with Hithere. There needs to be background to this.

Was your son promised the house at any point?

If not, this surely cannot be the first time your son has acted in this way towards you. How have you dealt with this in the past?

Do you have any other children and what is your relationship like with them? Are you married? Do you have a partner?

If not, do you have anyone else who has supported you through your cancer diagnosis?

Why did you initially think your son was keeping your grandchildren away from you because you had cancer?

Your OP is two sentences long, it is really hard to give you any meaningful advice based on that alone.

Your OP is two sentences long, it is really hard to give you any meaningful advice based on that alone.

I am assuming that English is not the OP's first language from the way the post is written, so perhaps it may be difficult for JGran to elicit further.

Callistemon

^Your OP is two sentences long, it is really hard to give you any meaningful advice based on that alone.^

I am assuming that English is not the OP's first language from the way the post is written, so perhaps it may be difficult for JGran to elicit further.

I did not get that impression but perhaps.

Hopefully she returns to the thread to provide some more information because going on the limited information provided, the situation she is in is not a good one and there is no telling how vulnerable she may be.

MrsWarren -- I too agree with you and Hithere. I find it difficult to make any suggestions based on a situation with no context.

On the surface it's easy to say son is abusive but I think there's more to it then just that.

What ever the back ground nobody has the right to demand that their parent hands over their house!

I was just about to say that, too.

OP will need serious support for this situation. Abusers love having family as victims. It's easier to get support to walk away from an abusive friend or husband/wife. Walk away from a family member and not only is it more painful, some frown at you for doing it.

In my experience, abuse in a family often doesn't stop sadly unless the victim walks away. An abuser likes to keep their victims around.

jenpax and MissAdventure -- Yes. It IS absolutely wrong to demand a parent give up a house. That may be the story but there could be FAR MORE to the 'story' then that.

While I don't have a personal experience I have heard of parents saying, "I'll give you/will you insert if you do 'this' for me." When the AC does whatever is requested and says, "Okay... I looked after you after your surgery etc. when are you going to take care of fulfilling your end?"

Parent says, "I never said that." and then the AC realizes that it was just a tactic for the parent to get what they wanted and had no intention of doing what they said they would they pull away/go NC.

Now I'm not saying that is at play with OP as there is NO CONTEXT to her situation. I think the general sweep to "son is rotten" is being based on 'nothing' and I'm not okay with that.

I'm ok with you not being ok with that.
I still think it's rotten.

I have heard of adult children saying, "I need you to give/lend me £xxxxx and if you don't, I won't visit you anymore", or "I won't let you see the children anymore." When the parent has given whatever is requested, either because they feel blackmailed into it or because they are generous, they still don't get to see their adult child, or their grandchildren. And they don't get their money back either. So there's no fulfilment at that end either and I'm not ok with that.

jenpax

What ever the back ground nobody has the right to demand that their parent hands over their house!

I agree. I did not state otherwise.

However, given the lack of context, I cannot give a helpful response to the OP other than to say her son is a pig. And that’s not helpful since I’m assuming she is looking for advice and not a pile on.