SUPPORT for all living with estrangement

P.F. sending you peace and love at this sad time, take care of yourself.x
Hope you have a lovely anniversary day smileless, much lovex

It's good to know that you feel peaceful today PF and that you can feel your DH's presence. "He was greatly loved and respected"; that's a wonderful thing to be able to say about the man you love x.

Thank you and Yogagirl, Chewbacca and 3nanny.

Thanks Bridie.

Smileless happy 4th anniversary moving day! Glad it was the right thing for you.

PF I am glad you feel peaceful today. Yes the tidal wave will come as it must, but you show such amazing resilience and will get through it as you have got through so much already. Grief doesnt go away but one can find a settled place for it in a new reality over time x

Oh *PetiteFrommage I am sending my condolences on your loss and a hug from across the pond. May the memories you have of him get you through this difficult time.

Fire works going off all over the place at the moment. Thank goodness our dogs aren't bothered in the slightest.

Brings back memories of when our boys were little and we'd get together with friends, taking it in turns to have fire works in our back gardens.

Once the sparklers were all used up, it would us adults in the garden watching the rest while the children went inside to play games in the war.

Sending you hugs PF x

oops ...... us adults in the garden and they played games in the warm; that said the noise they would make was more like war.

I am so sorry for your loss PF

Smileless lots of bangs here too. Reminds me of happy days with our 2 children, and my Mum and Dad in the garden. All wrapped up with sparklers, eating cock a leekie soup and baked potatoes!! DH and I pushing fireworks into sand in buckets and lighting them. Wouldn't do it now!!

Thank you so much everybody for your love and support.

I am currently comforting our German Shepherd, who looks like the largest, scariest dog you ever did see, but who is a total wimp, especially on 5 November!

It's such a shame when they're afraid of the fire works PF. I'm glad you have your big dog to cuddle.

We wouldn't do it now either Madgran and I can't believe that there are still fire works being let off at this time of the night. I must be getting old!!

Madgran, when we were children, we often had a bonfire in the back garden. We had black peas, jacket potato, home made parking and shop bought treacle toffee. One year, our auntie carried all the fireworks up the garden on an open tray. Inevitably, a spark from the fire set the lot off, she dropped the tray, screaming. We all cheered at our display and laughed a lot. Looking back at the lack of caution about so many things, its a wonder any of us survived.

I've been lucky with all my dogs over the years, never had one frightened of the fireworks. I don't like them though, especially these days as the bangs seem so vey loud. I'm a grump and would prefer them kept to say bonfire night, New Years eve and Divali. And then, only at organised displays.

PF I hope your GSD is ok - such a beautiful breed x

IAm happy memories eh!! Yup, amazing re lack of caution isnt it

Smiless Why are fireworks going off ? Is it some holiday. There are different kinds of fireworks going off here. Lol

November 5th is Bonfire night Rhinestone where we have fire works and bonfires to remember Guy Fawkes who was arrested, tortured and eventually executed for his plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament in 1605.

Hope you're OK and there's no trouble where you are. Stay safe.

I remember my dad returning to re light a catherine wheel that failed to go off once. As you say Madgran amazing lack of caution.

I have just received the most amazing thing in the post; a beautifully put together Remembrance Book for my mum, from the funeral directors.

The music we had listed in order of the service. Eight beautiful poems. A transcript of the vicars words. The poem read during the service by Mr. S. Ten photographs of the flowers and on the last page a photograph of Aldershot where mum was born (not provided by me), a photograph of well known 'Motown' artists as we had Gladys Knights singing 'The Way We Were', a photograph of hands knitting (mum was a great knitter), a picture of utensils with "Cooking up Happiness" written underneath (mum as a great cook) and a picture of an old TV showing Judy Garland as Dorothy in 'The Wizard of Oz' as the film was mentioned during the service.

Tears of joy for this wonderful unexpected gift, mingled with tears of sadness as I think about the loss of my mum.

Hi All

I have been having a time out few days just to deal with the Halloween and then Bonfire night. It was the quietest Halloween I have ever known since living at this house and not one knock at the door. Amazingly bonfire night only had fireworks between about 6-9pm and for once my dogs just curled up beside me on the sofa without any real fuss.
I could not believe how peacefully the evening passed by and I must be getting old as I did not miss the Halloween comings and goings or the fire works.

Smileless2012 that sounds like a lovely Remembrance Book that the funeral directors put together. Did they have photographs of your Mum that someone provided.?
That is such a thoughtful gift for them to put together for you, you must have been happy to open it and find it inside and it is something you can treasure and have as a keepsake.
I had the service layout printed for my mum and dads funeral, and also some remembrance cards these are smaller size with a photograph on and a written prayer and are very popular in Irish families which my parents came from.

Take care.

That Remembrance Book sounds lovely Smileless. What a wonderful gift to receive.

I am also at the stage of dealing with funeral directors, planning the funeral, deciding on the order of service, who can attend etc, as we are limited to 30. I have been overwhelmed by all of the cards, flowers and messages, from all of the people who loved and respected my DH so well. My BIL and SIL have been incredibly supportive.

DD1 rang today and we discussed the funeral arrangements. She said that, on the day DH died, she switched on a play list and heard the Beatles' song 'In My Life' for the first time ever and thinks it was a message from DH and wants to read the words at the funeral.....

'There are places I'll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone, and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends, I still can recall
Some are dead, and some are living
In my life, I've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life, I'll love you more
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I'll love you more
In my life I'll love you more'

So I guess that, despite the last few years, she really does love him. There also seems to be a bit of a rapprochement going on between DD1 and DD2, who have sent each other supportive texts, something which I would not have thought possible, even a week ago.

Thinking of all dogs and other pets tonight who are distressed by the fireworks. I have drawn the curtains and have put on music to drown out the noise, but big dog is still anxious, pacing the room and pawing at me, seeking reassurance. Small dog is chilled, but also a bit deaf!

Thank you Smileless for that historical information. But everyone is celebrating a person that wanted to blow up Parliament? That sounds confusing to me unkess there were a bunch of crooked men in Parlianent at that time.
How lovely that you got that remembrance about your mom. I know you will cherish it.
PF I know this is so tough for you but glad the girls are making it a little easier. That helps and hopefully they will mend their relationships.
I am doing a very happy dance today despite the estrangements. Just happy to get a new president with a woman ( finally ) in our White House.

Oh sorry I just remembered you burn Fawkes supposedly in effagy?

But everyone is celebrating a person that wanted to blow up Parliament?

We do celebrate the only man to ever walk into (under?) parliament with honest intentions.

The remembrance book sounds a lovely thing smiles, I hope it brings you much comfort.

I am so glad that DD1 is finding a way to show her love PF.

We seem to have had fireworks most nights for the last week, hope they've done now.

Well I am estranged from one of my son's for the past 7 years. I think I am mostly adjusted to it. I have an almost 8 year old granddaughter, his only child. His partner is an only and so they are following her family's pattern. I can get a bit sad for him as I know he is an excellent Dad. What would I know though? This is his choice, to live estranged from me and with minimal contact with his family ( he has 3 brothers and a sister). I remain positive that one day there will be resolution and we will come together again. I have not read the reason for the new thread but I expect I will get the gist of it before too long.

Smilesless, what a wonderful thing for the funeral directors to do, an unexpected gift.
Rhinestone, Guy Fawkes is the kind of anti hero we celebrate best here. Irony remains a key characteristic of most Brits.

Dear PF how wonderful to have so many people who knew and loved your DH sending you cares, flowers and giving you their much needed support.

The lyrics to that song are lovely and your DD1 will do well if she reads them out at his funeral. It's good to know that she and her sister DD2, have been in touch with one another and hopefully given time, their other sister will be able to move forward with that relationship too.

Rhinestone you must be thrilled and relieved in equal measure that the result is finally known that Biden has won.

Our eldest GC is also almost 8 Thistlelass and like you, we are "mostly adjusted" to our estrangement; what else can we do but learn to accept something that we cannot change.

The support for those living with estrangement thread has been running now for about 8 years; it was the reason I joined GN. Even those of us who have been estranged for some time, still need support from time to time and it's good to know that this thread is here for those whose estrangement is new.