That Interview

Dear NellG, I take off my hat to you! What a wisdom! Thank you. You've made my year.

I agree HurdyGurdy a lot of what M's said has shown that she's at best economical with the truth. I remember her saying how her friends had warned her about becoming involved with H because of his family.

I'm sure she said so around the time of their engagement which struck me as rather odd.

Maybe he was hoping the ground would open up and swallow him. If only it had and swallowed the pair of them.

I am still surprised that Harry, knowing the damage caused by the fall out from of the ill-advised television interviews given by both his parents, would ever have contemplated giving a similar interview.

This makes me think it was more Meghan's choice than Harry's. As has been noted above, he looked distinctly uncomfortable at times - especially sitting in the chicken coop when Meghan was saying that they had been married three days before the official wedding. The ground was very well stared at .

Also, given how obsessed America was with Diana, I do not believe for one minute that she or her mother didn't know about Diana's interview.

Bless you Peasblossom I wouldn't have thought you were being intrusive if you'd asked.

The only thing that troubles me is you've managed to sum it up far more succinctly than I've ever managed to in more than 8 years.

I think her family is awful. Her sister is a horrible nightmare and I remember all the nasty things she put on twitter. I think that there has been bad behaviour by the royal family too. I think that Meghan and Harry sounded like they were really up themselves in the interview.
I think I've decided they are all to blame in deferent ways and trying to pick a side would give me a massive headache.
I wish some people in my family wouldn't have picked sides either and picking sides causes more problems really. I should be able to have a relationship with everyone who I didn't have problems with and just left my mum out of conversations but my mum did the opposite and lies about me to people that I said things or did things. That's why I can't trust anyone here when I can't know who said what.
I do think that the press should have been called up by the royal family don't you?

Maybe it's just me but it does all seem to have gone rather quiet doesn't it.

I was preparing myself for this being all over the news and not being able to get away from it for at least a week but no, as we all know of course, there are far more important things going on.

It's as if the Queen's statement was like a bucket of water and has all but extinguished the fire H&M went to such great lengths to start.

Soon even the smoke will clear.

Just observant, Nell. And far back from what I’ve seen to not to have to question myself with all the self doubt that brings.

No, we haven’t met but when all the H and M began I badly wanted to ask you if you recognised the pattern. I didn’t because I thought it was intrusive of me. ?

Ummmmm Peaseblossom are you psychic? That's exactly how it happens, on the nose!

OMG Peasblossom have we met in real life? You've just summed up our ES's wife perfectly!!

I’ve seen estrangement now, second hand, through friends and family. I’m not emotionally involved, only in the way that some behaviour makes me cross.

It seems to me that it follows a pattern.

The instigator always has a sad story of being unloved, unaccepted in some way.
They are so happy with their new family. It’s all they’ve ever wanted.
Somebody in the new family is unkind to them, casts slurs upon them, behaves unreasonably.
They can’t bear it. Their partner must see how upset they are.
The quarrel is not of their making. They have no choice but cut such damage from their lives.
Everybody must agree how badly they’ve been treated.
If this is questioned other, more terrible stories emerge.

Obviously in some peoples experience some of the things listed there are true and do happen.

But it’s the pattern that gives it away.

I think you're right Nell. That's spooky isn't it. You don't think we're related in some way do you?.

There was an interesting news link on my lap top this morning, about the headlines that were on view behind Oprah during the circus interview.

One was about M being or bringing to the RF a 'bad seed'. It had been taken out of context as the story was about the lover of a member of UKIP who'd tweeted this and UKIP member was sacked for it.

Another was about M 'not speaking our language' sounds racist doesn't it but no, it was someone in the business world complaining about her 'woke hippy' language when talking about business.

I agree Armadillo that the "problems are real and upsetting" as are H&M. As for Archie not being referred too with a royal title, he doesn't have one and can't be given one until Charles is king.

"recollections may vary" says it all AGAA.

We had a family falling out.
If it had been confined to dialogue the rift may have been mended. As one of our family wrote an open letter to others it could never be forgotten. All we had to do was read the letter to be reminded of the bitterness.
Thank heavens we didn’t have an Oprah soap opera to relive.

Oldbutstilluseful Bless you, I may have to have a bit of a cry now, but in the best possible way. Thank you for being so kind. xxx

NellG, I wanted to write something about how I enjoy your posts, written with clear eyes and unbiased viewpoint, laced with a lot of humour. Your post of 14.59 is so painful to read that I’m lost for words.

I shall continue to look out for your posts and wish you all the very best (I hope that doesn’t sound too stalkerish!) ??

Armadillo No one is disputing how foul the press were, not at all.

Also, they are already estranged/distanced - she from all but her mother. Harry from his brother and in a strained relationship with his father. This interview wont have helped.

Sometimes Smiles I think we're stuck in the same nightmare My daughter said the same.

It's these similarities between many of us on the receiving end of the M&H treatment - in fact not just similar, identical often, that allow us to make the judgments that we do with the certainty that we do. Data doesn't lie even when people do

I think the palace acted with dignity in their reply "recollections may vary" says a lot. They have also said that Harry, Meghan and Archie are much loved by the family.

How different from the scathing remarks from M and H in front of millions of people. Family matters should be kept within the family.

Ours did too Nell. To friends of our ES's we'd known for years and to his brother.

There was a time when we thought we'd lose him too and when I realised we weren't going too, I told him so. He said "I know mum but you'll never lose me. I'm not like .....".

for you too Nell and for us all.

Has everyone seen the difference in how the press treated Kate and Meghan on the same topics? It was really bad from the beginning and worse now. One headline the other day said "Markles son" like that little baby isnt royal at all. I am not sure I like Meghan much as a person but what she has said about the way the press has treated her from the beginning is right and it's a bit like when my family didn't defend me so I get that aspect of it. Hopefully they won't end up estranged but they need to listen to the problems because the problems are real and upsetting I think.

AmberSpyglass

But they didn’t estrange their family. They made a career and life choice and their family treated them appallingly because of it. I’m sorry it clearly touched a nerve, but everyone has a right to cut out or reduce contact with people based on their words or actions.

No, their family just didn't hang the bunting up. Yes, everyone does have a right to distance themselves from things that cause them pain - I have, but with respect for the fact that in doing so I also caused pain to others. I have never felt the need to garner support for that and make it worse. It's possible to create distance and care for oneself without being cruel, vengeful and self serving in the process.

For all the people on this thread who know what they know

mumofmadboys

I agree with Shropshirelass they should never have done the interview. Things should have been resolved in private.Can you imagine if one of our kids did that to us ?

Mine did, not on TV but to the whole of my extended family. He and his wife went visiting and repeated the lies they'd told about me to each and every one. Some were sucked in, some decided they'd sit on the fence. All of them are now also estranged from me because the effects of being widely lied about and maligned are not only mental ( I had a breakdown ) they are also physical ( dangerously high blood pressure and the triggering of an autoimmune condition ). So like you, my feelings are for all of the people they can't acknowledge their behaviour has hurt.

A parents most of us will accept AC life choices that differ from what we'd choose, I think even the RF did. They didn't stop them stepping back or emigrating - what's unacceptable is that when those choices aren't celebrated, financially supported and made out to be the best thing since sliced bread for everyone, the AC lash out and savage the hand that fed them, then complain to all and sundry how unfair it all is, and if people don't support them, they lie until they do.

I tried to watch that interview with awareness of my own bias in all of this, I also watched it wondering if I might learn something of where I went wrong and how I could have done better. At the end of it I found myself no further forward other than confirming to myself that I will love my son until my dying day but I'm bloody glad I don't have to deal with him any more. I wish him and his wife every happiness, but far away from me. They come at WAY too high a price.

Madgran of course how we, the RF and goodness knows how many others may have been adversely affected by this circus doesn't matter, as long as M's OK.

And apparently she is. She has no regrets and has found the entire experience cathartic. She seems to think that now the healing can begin.

I know we can never be healed and I doubt those they've betrayed and publicly trashed will ever heal either. Oh silly me; she's talking about her being healed isn't she.

It's interesting that the impact on individual emotions, feelings of depression fears etc have been impacted on quite forcefully by this debacle....I have been pondering on the reasons why I have been feeling so low, beef lockdown miseries, and have realised that being aware of the endless media stuff, the awful debates and nastiness etc are having more of an effect on me than I had realised and bringing to the fore things from my own life to an extent I would not have expected. I can empathise Smileless with what you describe, even in our different circumstances