My SD has lived with her Mum at the other end of the country for longer than I’ve known her which is 18 years. She and I got along well to begin with (then a child at primary school). We only saw her in her birthday, for summer holidays and at Christmas/New Year time, so not a lot. My DH has always been good at keeping in contact with her and her mother throughout and also kept up all maintenance payments plus extra on top.
However, she has honestly been the rudest, most self absorbed child/teen/adult I have ever known! I work with children from a deprived area on a daily basis so I should know.
She has always given her Dad orders for ridiculously expensive presents for birthdays/Christmases. He never gets even a card when it’s his birthday, Father’s Day or at Christmas. This upsets him. All he wants is an acknowledgement.
However, lately she has estranged herself from us because she is part of the anti vax brigade and believes all the conspiracy theories about a New World Order. She was on the phone in the beginning shouting, screaming and in tears because she had told her Dad he shouldn’t be getting the vaccine and also dictated who he could and could not visit! She was so insistent with calls and messages about this that in the end he started ignoring them as it was so stressful. However, he did phone her and leave a message saying that he’d like to talk when she was calm and discuss things sensibly. That was a long time ago and it looks like she has cut him off. I also sent her a friendly message and she hasn’t replied.
Thing is, and I know this sounds awful but if something were to happen to my lovely husband I’m almost sure she would be up here trying to get as most money etc out of the situation because that is what she and her Mum are like.
DH and I have been married for nearly 20 years and looking forward to retirement in a few years. He was never married to his daughter’s mum. Had a relationship with her that only lasted a few years.
Any time SD has wanted to come up we have had open house for her and any boyfriend, so I really think she is being unfair. I just want to say, “No!” now to any requests for gifts or staying over with us if she ever decides she wants to re-establish contact again. Am I being unreasonable? AIBU?
Bashful Sat 17-Jul-21 13:34:21
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