Do you send gifts to GC when estranged

Why am I not surprised about that last statement.

No Bibbity I don't see anything ridiculous in my comment but find your's about "most religions" cutting ties with children because they believe differently to their parents, rather ridiculous.

Also, your understanding of the Christian baptism of infants is flawed. It has nothing to do with the child's faith being chosen for them. Whether or not that child follows the Christian faith in adulthood is their choice.

The promises made by the parents and God parents are their pledges to God and do not include indoctrinating that child into the Christian faith. God wants us to love him freely which is why he gave us free will.

Your comment about your m.i.l. wanting a "show and dance" and to dress children up like dolls in "her" dress to be played with, further illustrates your total lack of understanding.

As GSM has posted "do you have to be so nasty about that?"

I agree Hithere that we all have the right to find what works for us but still don't understand what you meant by teaching atheism. Surely that is teaching that God or gods don't exist?

Atheism is as valid as being Christian, Catholic, Muslim, Jewish, Pagan, etc.

And you don't see the contradiction in that. You promising a child to a religion. Which comes with registration is wrong imo. The child can choose to do so when an adult.
But I vehemently disagree with it happening to babies.

Again Smileless. I know my MiL better. It was a performance. It was about the dress and guest list.
I know friends who have said they aren't religious just wanted a nice day.
I know people who've done it to get their kids into a specific school.

It does happen.

Going to church is not a measure of one's faith Bibbity and I doubt your m.i.l. would ever feel comfortable discussing her's with you.

I didn't say it isn't valid Hithere so please don't put words into my mouth.

Yes it does happen Bibbity but it isn't a good idea to tar everyone with the same brush.

Celebrating the milestones in a child's life is a loving family tradition that's been going on for centuries. To deny your child the rest of it's family is an emotional crime. As you grow yourself in life you can see the effects of control and they are often regrettable

Lol emotional crime!

Except I'm not tarring anyone Smileless. I am not clutching my pearls at the idea others raise their children differently.

She is free to believe what she wants. Worship how she wants. It doesn't bother me at all.
What she can't do is be stroppy when I chose differently for my child.

Halfpint1 we have celebrated every milestone in my childrens lives. From smiles to words to first steps and first days of school so I'm unsure what you think they are missing out on?

My children are also surrounded by family. One person who brought us nothing but misery no longer has a place in our lives. And we're all happier for it.

But is she free to worship how she wants Bibbity when you've posted that it's just for show and she never sets foot in a church apart from christenings, weddings and funerals?

You appear to be judging her for not worshipping as you think she should.

She can do whatever she wants whenever she wants I honestly could not care less about her. I was just pointing out that she was never going to get what she wanted with regards to my child and that dress.

I am not judging her for that. I judge her for a lot. But not that.

You keep referring to your child Bibbity, presumably your H agreed with you as s/he's his child too.

He said he'd like a christening for a party. I replied that that went against what I believe in. So he wanted a naming ceremony and I said that that sounds lovely and we'll do that but he can organise it.

Not it be pessimistic but DS is 7 and there's been no date set....so I don't think that's going ahead ?

Actually, leaving a partner to plan and organize events is brilliant (especially regarding partners family). Complaints can be overcome "your childs plan"

Bibbity I did not attach your name to my statement , stop attacking

Calm down dear only a bit of confusion.

A long time ago I was told that it was my place to facilitate relationships between my husband and his family.

I said no, it isn't, it's my place to support my husband in his own decisions.

He doesn't want to see his mother or father for different reasons, we have a great relationship with other family members but the ones who try to tell us our place we keep at arms length.

A naming ceremony sounds like a good idea if you don't want a religious Christening Bibbity and I think you're right about it probably not going ahead.

what has this turned into ?

Usual suspects lemsip

Indeed!

We sent thoughtful, beautifully wrapt presents for six years. Then just before Christmas last year I received a nasty text from daughters OH telling us not to send any more as they caused upset and in any case were either binned or ‘re gifted’.

Very hurtful

Won’t be sending anymore. Will continue to send cards to GS and will set up a savings account for when they are 18 with the money we would have spent on presents.

Sallywally was there more to that text?

I'm just trying to understand why it is "nasty" for someone to say what you are doing is causing upset?

There was no need to say that gifts you've sent have been binned or re gifted Sallywally. That's just being cruel for cruelties sake.

All that was needed was to say the gifts aren't wanted and for you not to send anymore. There are ways of putting across how one feels without being nasty.

Savings accounts and sending cards are a good idea. You are those children's GM and whether your s.i.l. likes it or not, that will never change.

I always wondered if my MIL would try to make contact with my children when they turned 18. She didn't. The eldest said that if contact was made, they would tell MIL thanks but no thanks and why.