Sign for grandchildren

I would never sign something like this b/c for me, it's the children who are the priority.

In the case of this gm (the original change.org), police is involved due to harassment to the gc.

The letter posted as evidence shows the handwriting of a very young child, who doesnt have ability to see the whole picure due to the age.

Harrassment and stalking too

We wouldn't even let a parent peer through the fence at the children. We would ask them politely to move on. If they tried to talk to the children or take photos it would be reported as we have vulnerable children.

Hithere

In the case of this gm (the original change.org), police is involved due to harassment to the gc.

The letter posted as evidence shows the handwriting of a very young child, who doesnt have ability to see the whole picure due to the age.

I’m not in the least surprised.

I think petitions would show a much clearer picture if they had the option to be "for" or "against". Especially when they get shared in "for" circles often

Yes it is a tragedy when a loving GP is suddenly cut off from their GP, when there is a healthy loving bond. I am so sorry Allsorts and I do relate to your experience of having a good relationship and being cut off.

I also feel for Violetsky who has clearly outlined her painful suffering and reasons why her experiences will naturally make her more protective of children's rights. Anyone who has been forced to do anything they did not want, or who has been abused will want to avoid anyone else going through such pain.

I think many of us do get triggered by some of the subjects here and all anyone can do is speak from experience, even when it's painful. I think it's not helpful to invalidate the experiences of others, though. We are all coming from different angles yet we all want the same things really- safe and healthy relationships.

Like I said, if I could open the door for the good and the loving without leaving it open for the controlling, abusive, bigoted and hurtful I would.

Losing a loving family member

Being at risk of abuse

I know both and I know which is worse for a child

I agree with you Summerlove which is why I posted to respond to VioletSky when she said "those who sign are doing so for the sake of the children".

Would you not agree that that suggests those who do sign are not acting for the sake of the children? It came across to me like that which is why I responded the way I did.

The grandma in the original petition was not charged with harassment.
The grandparents of the two children who were killed in their parents' custody were given the same treatment.
Cut out of the childrens' lives.
My neighbour was warned not to harass her son.
Why? Because he didn't want her involvement in his life in case it exposed what his children were going through.
She has a note like that, passed to her by the oldest grandaughter, who has always, and still sees her.

Just noticed a post from MercuryQueen saying the same thing, not signing because it is the children who are the priority.

Not sure why it's necessary for anyone to suggest that people who do sign don't see the children as a priority.

apologies I missed a word out when quoting VioletSky, she posted "those who wont sign ........".

Agedp1953

I agree with you Summerlove which is why I posted to respond to VioletSky when she said "those who sign are doing so for the sake of the children".

Would you not agree that that suggests those who do sign are not acting for the sake of the children? It came across to me like that which is why I responded the way I did.

I've already said that I don't think those who sign are understanding the reasons not to so no, that's not what I meant. I say what I mean.

MissAdventure

The grandma in the original petition was not charged with harassment.
The grandparents of the two children who were killed in their parents' custody were given the same treatment.
Cut out of the childrens' lives.
My neighbour was warned not to harass her son.
Why? Because he didn't want her involvement in his life in case it exposed what his children were going through.
She has a note like that, passed to her by the oldest grandaughter, who has always, and still sees her.

How would access change that?

Those poor children would have been punished for it.

You have to understand how abusers operate

My dad had court ordered access, every other weekend and every other Christmas.

I could tell you a thousand stories of how I was punished for it from as young as I can remember.

You can call me biased or playing games or whatever you think might silence me so that everyone can pretend this is all hearts and flowers and skipping off into the sunset with the grandchildren but....

The truth is that I just have too much experience of the dangerous adults that exist out there and some of them wear their disguises so well that when you try to ask for help, no one believes you because they turned you into an anxious frightened mess.

It's not a question of not understanding why some choose not to sign. Those reasons have been given as have the reasons for those who have signed VioletSky.

Having a different point of view and disagreeing doesn't mean there is a lack of understanding. I have been catching up on the posts here and haven't seen anyone say that anyone is playing games or an attempt to silence anyone.

I did ask earlier why anyone would want to disrupt or end an existing safe and established relationship between children and their grandparents and no one has answered.

That's sort of a prime example of how people don't see what they don't want to.

That's why abusers win too often

"I did ask earlier why anyone would want to disrupt or end an existing safe and established relationship between children and their grandparents and no one has answered."

Maybe both parties do not agree on the relationship being establish and/or safe
One party sees red flags the other one denies

Moving also disrupts a relationship, unfortunately it is a fact of life (job related, goals for the future, etc)

Grandchildren grow up and their priorities change

Anybody can just stop talking to anybody, just because.

So many many reasons

Agedp1953

It's not a question of not understanding why some choose not to sign. Those reasons have been given as have the reasons for those who have signed VioletSky.

Having a different point of view and disagreeing doesn't mean there is a lack of understanding. I have been catching up on the posts here and haven't seen anyone say that anyone is playing games or an attempt to silence anyone.

I did ask earlier why anyone would want to disrupt or end an existing safe and established relationship between children and their grandparents and no one has answered.

My son was jealous of me having a relationship with anyone who wasn't him. He disliked me being friends with anyone, or getting along with his partner. I asked him once if he would rather have arguing and he said "YES!"

I had a good relationship with my DiL and also my son's two girlfriends before her, but he wanted me to be horrible to them and I refused. He has been controlling and also has paranoia and Mental Health problems which he doesn't accept help with. He also was taking drugs, which he may be still doing and trying to hide?

He also threatened me that if I had the covid jab he would not have anything to do with me, believing me to be contaminated. He said that my DNA was not compatible with his any more.

These are reasons why a safe and established relationship was ended. Because of my covid status, I was no longer deemed "safe" to be around. It could be that he saw me as dispensable because by then he had to pay his own rent and bills so I wasn't useful to him anymore and used the covid jab as leverage? I don't really know, but it seems that way, I know many parents have suffered because of covid differences.

OnwardandUpward you have reminded me of something. I was feeling a bit sorry for your son and his obvious mental health issues then I remembered something.

My mother used to genuinely believe she could wish others harm and it would come true. When ever anything bad happened to someone she didn't like she would give herself the credit for it.

I suppose that maybe this is what is meant by "delusions of grandeur".

Obviously mental health issues do not excuse abuse, ever. I sometimes feel sorry for my mother too though. It cannot be a happy existence.

Agedp1953

It's not a question of not understanding why some choose not to sign. Those reasons have been given as have the reasons for those who have signed VioletSky.

Having a different point of view and disagreeing doesn't mean there is a lack of understanding. I have been catching up on the posts here and haven't seen anyone say that anyone is playing games or an attempt to silence anyone.

I did ask earlier why anyone would want to disrupt or end an existing safe and established relationship between children and their grandparents and no one has answered.

No one here would.

But giving blanket leave yo arrange court ordered visitation is not how you fix that

These younger generations are not responsible for our happiness but to me this is like taking that happiness from an innocent child to give it to a grandparent because the happiness of the grandchild in this scenario is never guaranteed.

Here we go again!

Agedp1953

Just noticed a post from MercuryQueen saying the same thing, not signing because it is the children who are the priority.

Not sure why it's necessary for anyone to suggest that people who do sign don't see the children as a priority.

Someone stated they signed b/c they see children as the priority.

I stated that I would never sign because I see children as the priority in response. Flip side of the coin, if you will.

I still don't understand how putting the parents through a court battle and the myriad of issues that go along with it is in the best interest of the child.

Granniesunite

She was a very lucky lady to have had such a kind caring daughter*DL*and taken care of when she most needed it.
You are such a good role model for your children and it sounds as if you did more than your best for her.
Perhaps it was your dad that loved you enough and that love enabled you to show such compassion to your mum. ? .

Thank you, but I was lucky in lots of ways. I had my dad, my maternal grandmother, who I was very close to, and lots of extended family and friends.

Mum was great in many ways. I was never abused, was well fed, clean, holidays, lovely Christmas’s etc. I just lacked having a mum I could talk to about anything, who criticised me constantly, and who never seemed to have a good word for me.

Other children have it much worse.

I don’t actually think about her much now, but she died 10 years ago this Boxing Day, and I suppose it’s that time of the year anyway.

Best wishes.