For 20 years my husband and I tried to build a relationship with his parents until it all fell apart and then, for our own sanity, we had to estrange ourselves from them. Although they instigated the breakup, they never contacted us again, and after the initial shock, we realized it was for the best. It was very hard to always be in the shadow of his younger brother and his family, who lied, were devious and conivving, but who were always believed even if you could prove they were lying! His brother was always in trouble, a wife beater, debts, mad cap money making schemes, but the golden boy! My husband, was completely the opposite, incredibly hard working, in the Emergency Services and spent 20 years (which we ain’t going to get back) trying for equality in the family. Now history is repeating itself with our daughter and her husband’s family who she favors in all ways over us. (They are very wealthy, which I would have hoped didn’t matter, but my husband says he thinks it does). The joke is that they don’t step in to help out with our GD, we do, at the drop of a hat, because they themselves have a daughter with two boys and they help out with them everyday. If my daughter asks, they almost always say ‘we can’t help, we have the boys so she come to us. We weren’t allowed any time with our GD this Christmas as they spent Christmas Day with my S in L’s parents and extended family and also hosted the same extended family at their house on Boxing Day. To be fair, they did invite us Boxing Day, but my husband has been really unwell with this ‘super cold’ and so we asked if we could just go down for 2 hours and what time was the buffet, and were told, arrival time is 1.00pm and we’re not rushing. Ok, we’re not asking you to rush or change your plans, just give us an indication of timings and then we won’t inconvenience anyone. The reason I’m posting, and this is my first real post on Gransnet. is to ask if anyone thinks I should call it a day with my daughter (my husband says we are just being taken for mugs), as this is just another episode where we are sidelined, and my D seems unable to see this (or chooses not to?) despite me trying to have tactful words about it.
I would need to work my sanity going forward, if I don’t have my D and GD in my life. I can see my husband’s point, as, like him I don’t think I can put in another 20 years of effort in the hope that someone (my daughter) sees we’re worth the relationship.
