Friendship,advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

Baklava? Some one mention that lovely sticky, sweet, fattening, deliciously gorgeous baklava? <<swoon>>

Baklava are just Mmmmmmmmmmmm!!

Thank you Smileless2012 yes it is like looking back on another life. This life is good, with its own small joys, but different.
Wishing everyone here as good a week as you can manage.

Yep, that was me Chewbacca. Sitting on the roof terrace with coffee, brandy, good music and of course Mr. S. and feeling really happy]smile].

This life is good Sparkly, not what we thought it would be but WTF, we just have to make the most of what we've got .

oops that should have been .

Ooh I love cheese madgran. Congratulations on winning a whole hamper!

Hope everyone has a good night. I'm sure you will smiles if you're full of Turkish yumminess and brandy.

Wow such wonderful posts . Had to make notes on a tissue box to make sure I don't miss anyone.

I am fine now thank you. Not letting it get to me. Go a plan of action ready for tomorrow.

DiamondLily sorry your knee collapsed hopefully it's back to working order today.

Agedp1953 sorry about your son . But lovely to see you here.

SparklyGrandma 14 years is a long time . You must be very strong to have got through all those years. So lovely to see you here though . Proves you can survive estrangement and still have a good life. ?

grannysyb nice to know you read the support threads . Shows they appeal to the estranged and non estranged. But we do cover other things going on in our lives. Hopefully some have given you a chuckle.

Madgran glad you had a wonderful time with your friends. That's the great thing about old friends even if you don't see them for years it's as if it was only yesterday. Winning a cheese hamper that must be lovely. Hope there where lots of different ones and some you hadn't tried before.

Chewbacca glad you had a good time at the well dressing. Glad it wasn't to hot . All those cakes sounds yummy.

Granniesunite sorry to hear your husband's health has gotten worse but glad you have help and he is home with you. Must help knowing your daughter is battling her way through her estrangement . But she must be very worried about you and her dad. ?

Namsnanny thank you glad I could help. Lovely to hear from you.

Hugs congratulations on winning the place on the writing course. That's something to look forward to. And new people to met . You will come back will lots of new knowledge ready to write with renewed vigor. ?️?.

Smiles glad you had a wonderful meal with Mr S. I love baklava . Hope Mr S isn't a klutz like my husband was no matter what job he was doing he ended up injuring himself.

DerbyshireLass lovely posts as usual.

Allsorts hope you are still reading and hopefully you will be back soon.

Apologies if I have missed anyone out. But how lovely to see all the support this thread and the other support threads got mean so much to so many people. Estranged and non estranged alike.

Smiles and other long time posters your hearts must be swelling with pride . ❤️

Hello everyone.

Just dropping by.

I am sorry but I'm not going to address you all personally - this is just quick "drive by" to say how pleased I am to see you all posting and to see the thread back on track.

To be honest I'm not feeling 100%.

Nothing major, just tired and achey and feeling a bit run down, think I've overdone things a bit recently. Time for some self TLC and catch up with myself. Charge up my batteries.....lol. I'll be fine.

Hope you all have a good day.

Unfortunately he is a bit of a klutz Whiff. Until he started work on the flat, it was invariably his hands he'd injure in one way or another, now it's his head!!!

There's a low ceiling in the entrance and he keeps banging it. Yesterday when he came home, he had a nasty gash where he'd banged it again. When we're there together, I'm constantly telling him to 'mind your head' and think I ought to record the message for him to play over and over again, for when I'm not there.

There has been a lot of supportive and positive posts on the support threads I agree, and it's lovely to see GN doing what it does best.

Sorry you're feeling below par DSL. Time to have a bit of a break from all the work getting ready to sell your house and move. A stressful time especially when you're doing it all alone.

We have friends coming this afternoon for a BBQ. Looking a bit gloomy here atm and we had rain last night but it's supposed to clear up later with plenty of so fingers crossed, or Mr. S. will be barbecuing in the rain; not for the first time.

Hello Everyone,
So very pleased this is back on track once more.??‍♂️
Hello everyone, hope you’re all having a better day now it’s cooled down.
Welcome back Sparkly, , I remember you well. It’s good you’re in a better place now. We don’t always get the life we choose but that doesn’t mean it won’t be a happy one.
It’s easier these days to talk about estrangement, it was assumed years ago you must be a bad person for this to happen, especially from your own children, as people just didn’t talk about it. Now we read about it all the time, even our Royal Family have their problems with it. I now think some of it is mismatched expectations. It takes both sides to want it to work, no good if one side is resolutely determined to go alone. In time we do adapt and make a different life.

Hope you feel better soon DSL.

Oh dear, poor Mr S! Enjoy your BBQ and do keep an eye on him.

Mismatched expectations - I'm sure that factors in a lot of relationship and communication problems allsorts.

More writing, crafting, and chilling for me today. And a Sunday lunch and a wallow in the bath with an audiobook.

Enjoy your day all.

Very hot here in France today, high nineties at least. Really wanted to sort out the veg garden but no go I think. Much cooler inside the house due to the thick stone walls so pottering in my craft studio today, lots of unfinished projects to tackle.
Have a lovely day all.

Hi Allsorts lovely to see you back posting

Oh I know hugs, I sometimes wonder if I should let him any where near a lit BBQ but he does the best BBQ's I've ever had!!!

Sounds like a busy day Normandygirl but a good idea to make use of your cooler craft studio and get some of those unfinished projects out of the way.

Well, its still overcast and we've had a few spots of rain there's supposed to at 5.00 pm so, will it be a BBQ in the rain or Mr. S. under a golf umbrella.

Stayed tuned for the next exciting instalment o 'Barbecuing with Mr. S.' .

Nice to see you Normandygirl A crafting studio sounds wonderful.

We managed a walk this afternoon in our rain macs. Loads of rain today here.

Allsorts glad you are still with us. Shows the strength of feeling about the support we give eachother everyone rallied round and got the thread back on track.

DerbyshireLass hopefully you will have a rest for a few days with some me time. I know I over did things before my house sale and then the packing wore me out. But being stubborn I set myself a number of boxes to pack each day and I did it. But my poor body took a beating.

Normandygirl hopefully it's cooler for you today. Craft studio sounds heavenly.

Smiles hope you had your BBQ. My husband used to say" me man I cook with fire". Think it was a hang over for his time in the scouts then a scout/ venture scout leader. Weather never stopped him. He would put up a tarp over the BBQ and table and sit with our son and play cards. While I past food to be cooked threw the window. My daughter and me being sensible stayed inside nice and dry.

My dad and now my brother are always knocking their heads. And both being bald meant they always had a scabby head. My sister in law is always telling my brother to leave his head alone. Not long before I see them 3 weeks and counting .

The buses went on strike here Wednesday a continuous strike. Then yesterday my water pressure was right down. Luckily had my shower early and did some washing. A large pipe burst and effected 8 postcodes. Some had no water at all from Saturday. Several water stations set up over the 2 days. Ironically we had very heavy rain. I have mentioned my wonderful neighbours the one 2 doors down came to check I had water. My daughter had already told me about the pipe so had jugs of water in the fridge. And only flushed loo if needed to.

Hugs hope you didn't get to wet on your walk.

Well got a busy day on the phone today. So am getting up now.

Have a good day everyone.

Fingers crossed Whiff for today. Had a weepy day yesterday. I tried to do some work around the place that I used to do no problem, but couldn't. I know I can't manage here but the thought if what it entails moving from a loved home is daunting. Normanydgirl, gardening in 90 degrees is not much fun, the soil too hard. Best to tackle other projects.
Hope you are better DSL, you have your grandchildren soon don't you. Also congratulations on winning the cheese Madgran, it is a weakness of mine I would have to discipline myself.
Smileless it's tears since I had a BBQ and the smell that drifts over from people that are is so tempting.

Allsorts sorry you had a weepy day. Yes I love cheese too and having been spreading the enjoyment out and sharing it with others!

Morning all

Well I really didn't forsee myself coming back on so soon, think GNHQ must have had a word. Glad everything is back as the title says; support & help for all.

Hope your BBQ went ahead ok Smiles even if it did rain. I sat in the rain yesterday evening, under my very large parasol, it was lovely!

Just need Pixie to come back on now.

Good Mornjng Everone

So glad you are posting Allsorts. Sorry to hear you are so down. I get what you are saying about you know you need to move but you don't think you can manage. I feel a bit the same. Realistically I know it has to be the right solution for me.

1. physically because the house and garden will one day be too much for me.

2. because it is a drain on my finances

3. because the location is no longer meeting my needs

4. because I do think I will feel the psychological benefits from a fresh start.

As for the logistics and the toll on my body, well I'm just going to have to do it and trust I come out ok the other side. I am resigned to the fact that I will have to pay for help to lessen the burden.

I must adopt my husbands mantra. "Why have a dog and bark yourself" . I have never been much good at delegating but it's time I did. Luckily I have found a lovely odd job man who charges a very reasonable rate, I have already earmarked him to help me load a skip. I'll get a cleaning company to do the final clean here, although I do keep a clean house, in fact I can be a bit OCD. Like Whiff I will pack a few boxes each day. It's too early to start really but I can at least declutter a bit. I have some in the boot of my car ready for charity shop drop off. I just do a bit at a time,

When I feel overwhelmed I remember the elephant......

"How do you eat an elephant, one bite at a time".

The legacy of having a narc father is that I have issues with my health, namely IBS and a tendency to nasty headaches. Add the years I spent lifting my 6ft husband and I now have issues with fibromyalgia and arthritis. Some days I'm ok, some not. One of the most hurtful things my DIL said was when I had to cancel a lunch date because I was having a flare up. She accused me of faking illness. Thankfully the people who know me, love me and care about me are more understanding,

Finally I'm learning to pace myself and start putting my needs first. That remark gave me a jolt but it made my realise I couldn't expect any help from them and that essentially I was on my own. It sowed the seed in my mind to think seriously about downsizing. I know it's not for everyone because it involves two moves but it's why I'm going to rent first. It will remove a lot of the stress and make the process easier.

Life takes its toll on our bodies and ageing adds to the burden but I'm not giving up. I am now fighting back to try and regain my health, rest, sleep, healthy diet, exercise. I have a mountain to climb to get fit again but I'll get there. Ok I'll never run a marathon but I can improve my mobility and flexibility. I can build up my muscles. My aim is the 3 "s's". Suppleness, strength and stamina.

Allsorts you don't have to make any immediate decisions but I do suggest you start to think seriously about moving. Maybe write a list of pros and cons, prepare yourself mentally. Its. very hard when you love your home and it's full of memories but I guess the time comes when practicality has to override emotions. It does sound that deep down you know moving would be the best option for you.

I mentioned the headaches. I've just had one that lasted 6 days. I don't think the heat helped but it's a sure sign I have been neglecting myself. The massage helped a bit but she said my neck and shoulders were really knotted up. I have proper deep tissue remedial massage, the sort athletes and sports people have not "beauty" massages, not exactly pampering. Lol. Saturdays was quite painful and yesterday I felt quite fragile afterwards but I do feel the benefit today.

Anyway a hair cut today. Hate the back basins, they hurt my neck. I'll ask her to just do one wash, see if that helps.

Whiff....loved the "me man I cook with fire". My husband used to do the same. Then he would beat his chest. He was just a big kid at heart, always ready to play and have fun. My world is a much greyer place without him. I so miss the fun, the play and the laughter. I have become far too serious, I have forgotten how to have fun.

I read somewhere that children laugh 400 times a day, whilst most adults only manage 4 times. I bet some days I don't laugh all.

So for me and everyone....

????????????????????????

Allsorts It is a big step to move, physically and mentally. When I moved to my house before this one, I saw it as just for a few years, till my C moved out, my son went to Uni as we moved, my eldest D was courting seriously and my youngest was a tear-away so I expected her to move and get her own place in a few years time. So was looking at 3-5yrs tops I thought. 16yrs later! I was still there, I too was afraid to move, but in the end I just contacted an EA and then you are just swept away with the process and have to pull your finger out and get things done. I just kept thinking of the end product; moved.

Thankyou hugshelp
Yes having my own crafting space is a huge luxury and I am so grateful for it. Not an expert in anything but I love to "have a go" at everything from stained glass, mosaic, sewing. pottery etc. I can make as much mess as I like so i suppose it's like a grown up playroom.

Hope you're feeling a bit better today Allsorts. Just the thought of moving is daunting but if and when you do, you'll take all the wonderful memories with you.

Where a family of cheese lovers Madgran including the dogs. Can't get the cheese out without letting them have some and it's a real bonus when we have tablets to give them. We disguise them by cutting them up, and putting small pieces inside a piece of cheese. Job done.

Great to see you back Yogin. It's great as you say Whiff, how everyone pulled together and managed to get this thread back on track. So upsetting to see long standing and regular posters feeling that they can't post here because of unpleasantness.

Well we didn't have our BBQ. It rained and rained so wasn't even possible for Mr. S. to carry out his mission with the assistance of his umbrella. Of course, just as I'd finished cooking the rain stopped and 5 minutes later out came the .

Still had a good time though even though the food had to be cooked inside, not quite the same but we carried on regardless, just like we've done here.

Just got back having taken our dogs for their annual health check and vaccinations and all's well.

Saw a fabulous black standard poodle which made out little man look very small indeed. The owner asked how old our little one is and said it's not unusual for them to live 20 years and even beyond.

Oh I hope so, our little chap will be 8 in December. She told me all of her's, 5 in total of all 3 sizes are all rescues and the name of a website for re homing only poodles.

So dear friends, do I look? Dare I?

Only if you have a heart of stone, otherwise you will soon be the proud owner of at least one more furry friend,

I would love a cat but I'm putting it off until after my final house move. Then I might get two. ?

Had my hair cut this morning, my usual stylist was on holiday. So I tried a new stylist, she is new to the salon.

Sorry to say it's the worst hair cut I've ever had in my life, ?. She was a not a nice person either, clearly in a foul mood so all in all not a great experience.

Never mind it will grow and I shall avoid that stylist in future.
Then I went shopping, tired now so an early dinner and then a quiet restful evening.