Friendship,advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

Speaking of figs, my son has promised me some from his very prodigious tree, well big shrub.
He's taken with growing his own this year and jumped in with both feet, planting apple and pear trees, veg, Tom's, strawberries, ect.
He's run off his feet with it all, especially in this hot weather!
Said he'd never worked so hard at chores since he lived with us??.
Gardening is good for the soul.
I agree withchewbacca's philosophy too.

Good advice there hugshelp; everyone has their own "truth" that they have to come to terms with, in their own way, if they're to live a peaceful life. And, I'd add that no one, especially on an internet chat forum, is suitably qualified to offer any better advice to someone than 5 previously consulted counsellors or therapists.

Chewbacca

Good advice there hugshelp; everyone has their own "truth" that they have to come to terms with, in their own way, if they're to live a peaceful life. And, I'd add that no one, especially on an internet chat forum, is suitably qualified to offer any better advice to someone than 5 previously consulted counsellors or therapists.

This exactly

Thanks Hugshelp

Sometimes all that can be done is to listen, understand and acknowledge. It's amazing how often that is all someone needs

The problem with a forum is that when someone new comes on with an issue, other posters can only see what is posted.

Advice can only be fairly general - for those wanting more, real life help, via properly qualified help, is the way to go

No facts are known, and it is wrong to "label" people, who haven't even posted on here, as definitely "abusers" or "abusive".

Sometimes a lot is assumed, generally about EPs being in the wrong, but no one here knows the true situation of a new poster, or their relatives.

"Truth" can also be subjective, depending on different points of view.

I would say my stepson acts abusively towards his dad (my DH).

He would probably say that children are for life, and not just for Christmas.

Therefore, parents should hand out whatever ACs think they need and deserve...?

Two different perspectives on the sane situation.

He would probably say that children are for life, and not just for Christmas.

Good grief DiamondLily really?? At what age/stage of life does he think it's time he stands on his own 2 feet, takes responsibility for his own life and happiness and becomes an adult?

Chewbacca

^He would probably say that children are for life, and not just for Christmas.^

Good grief DiamondLily really?? At what age/stage of life does he think it's time he stands on his own 2 feet, takes responsibility for his own life and happiness and becomes an adult?

Some ACs never seem to grow up and be adults. They remain whining juveniles. ?

He's one of them, although you'd think after two wives, and two adult kids, he would have.

He's bled his mother dry, so now he's trying it with his Dad.

However, I'm cheerful and game enough to play the wicked Stepmum part - he's not going to the ball on my money lol ?

DiamondLily

The problem with a forum is that when someone new comes on with an issue, other posters can only see what is posted.

Advice can only be fairly general - for those wanting more, real life help, via properly qualified help, is the way to go

No facts are known, and it is wrong to "label" people, who haven't even posted on here, as definitely "abusers" or "abusive".

Sometimes a lot is assumed, generally about EPs being in the wrong, but no one here knows the true situation of a new poster, or their relatives.

"Truth" can also be subjective, depending on different points of view.

I would say my stepson acts abusively towards his dad (my DH).

He would probably say that children are for life, and not just for Christmas.

Therefore, parents should hand out whatever ACs think they need and deserve...?

Two different perspectives on the sane situation.

I would never tell you your stepson is not abusive to your husband Diamondlily

I would never tell anyone who has sought professional help and clearly states they have been abused that they haven't been.

We are obviously very different because I cannot defend that behaviour

The eternal Peter Pan then DiamondLily? If anyone can get him to put his big boy pants on, I reckon it's you!

Chewbacca

The eternal Peter Pan then DiamondLily? If anyone can get him to put his big boy pants on, I reckon it's you!

Well, he might be Peter Pan, but I'm no bleeding Tinkerbell lol ?‍♂️?‍♂️

More the angry croc...??? ?

My balance has been off today. Since I fell in my road couple of years ago. I walk close to walls and fences. On my way to the bus stop I lost my balance and ended up in a privet hedge. Luckily it was very thick and I stayed up right. Good job I walk with a stick. Unfortunately some of the biscuits I made for my exercise class got broken. But I had to laugh as it was so ridiculous falling into a privet. But then it reminded of my nan and grandad's garden it had a large privet down one side . My grandad's pride and joy.

I always try and find a positive from a negative even it's something silly.

Glad you are OK Whiff

Take it easy today Whiff, we don't want to find you in any more privet hedges. It's a day for sitting in a nice shady spot in the garden.

Whiff

My balance has been off today. Since I fell in my road couple of years ago. I walk close to walls and fences. On my way to the bus stop I lost my balance and ended up in a privet hedge. Luckily it was very thick and I stayed up right. Good job I walk with a stick. Unfortunately some of the biscuits I made for my exercise class got broken. But I had to laugh as it was so ridiculous falling into a privet. But then it reminded of my nan and grandad's garden it had a large privet down one side . My grandad's pride and joy.

I always try and find a positive from a negative even it's something silly.

Whiff - glad you're ok, and good that you can see the funny side of it. ?

Whiff hope you are OK . Your description reminded me of the old series " keeping up appearances" where Hyacinth falls into the hedge whilst trying to save her hat. Hope the biscuits were still edible.
An exercise class that has biscuits sounds like my sort of exercise class

I have literally achieved nothing today. My whole body is aching. Yesterday was lovely but there weren't many places to sit and rest.

We walked all past the London Eye, Big Ben and Downing Street. Through Alexandria Park (saw the pelicans). Waved at the Queen (no idea if she was home), saw Leicester Square and passed Trafalgar Square.

Really brilliant day

Shame everything smells like pee

Hi Chewbacca (waives very enthusiastically) well even with the additional foliage you say you'll need, don't believe you btw, there'd still be a lot less laundry to do when you get home so it's still worth thinking about.

I'm afraid that clothing isn't optional at the lodge though.

IMO someone whose consulted 5 counsellors or therapists needs a reality check, and gentle encouragement to listen to what these professionals are saying so they don't automatically dismiss what's said if they don't like/agree with it.

It certainly looks as if your SS has a particularly bad case of entitlement DL so if you need to step into the role of wicked step mother, so be it. I'm sure it helps your DH having you on side.

It's not easy when you see in your child, someone you don't recognise and have to face the reality that as much as you love them, there are things they say and do which frankly, you don't like.

I know how horrible that was for us and I'm sorry that you, and particularly your H are having to go through this too. Pretty confident that it's the angry croc needed in this situation and no place for Tinkerbell.

Oh Whiffthank goodness that hedge was there to break your fall. You're like a breath of fresh air to the support threads, always finding the positive whatever the situation.

Broken biscuits are one thing, but a broken Whiff just wont do at all, so *be careful*.

Sounds like my sort of exercise class too Normandygirl, even with broken biscuits.

Had a lovely day today with a friend coming over for lunch. First time here and loved the lodge and the setting.

Still very hot here so despite two little dogs looking at me with pleading eyes as if they haven't been fed in days, I'm holding off for a bit before giving them their tea.

"IMO"

There is is again sadly

Some threads ask for support

Some threads ask for compassion

Surely everyone can find support where it is asked for and compassion where it is asked for?

I'm afraid that clothing isn't optional at the lodge though.

Oh how I wish I hadn't done that! My poor eyes! I thought I'd look for a funny picture of "elderly naturists", just to make you giggle Smileless. I'll never do that again! For heaven's sake don't look.

Here is why I think the support thread is special amd why in the past I have avoided it.

Because it is somewhere safe estranged parents can vent.

You can make sweeping generalisations about EAC here and no one minds at all. Because its held within the context of your support thread.

You can call EAC names and no one minds at all it is held within the context of your support thread.

You can call all EAC selfish entitled, controlling... whatever you like amd no one minds.... because it is held within the context of your support thread.

But if EAC threads get over taken or turned into arguments or taken off track where can we go?

Give us somewhere to go.

Please.

Don't make me responsible for holding space.

Hope you are ok after the fallwhiff it sounds a sore one. Hope it wasn’t too prickly.

To all you lovely ladies I hope today is a good one and you’re doing something you enjoy.

Chewbacca

^I'm afraid that clothing isn't optional at the lodge though^.

Oh how I wish I hadn't done that! My poor eyes! I thought I'd look for a funny picture of "elderly naturists", just to make you giggle Smileless. I'll never do that again! For heaven's sake don't look.

It's not optional where I live either - the neighbours would run screaming for cover if I ventured out in just fig leaves....??

Now you've made me curious Chewbacca and I'm tempted to look.

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!