Mum and Dad relationship

No my son didn’t hear me speak to my dad - as I have said previously, we keep him out of it.

My dad turns up 5 minutes after training starts and CHOOSES to stand on a side of the field well away from every other parent. He then leaves 5 minutes behind the end.

He ignores me and my wife.

I have also said that we have cut contact.

With regards saying that to my son, my parents are emotionally abusive and if you let them do this, they will walk all over him as they have done to me and my wife.

Why should we ignore it and ENABLE their abuse which it is?

So your 7 yr old didn’t pick up that you were ‘raging’?

You asked your father ‘aren’t we going to discuss this’ presumably your child heard you say this?

Your Father turns up to watch your son at football, do you greet him politely or stand and seethe?

Do you really think that a 7 yr old doesn’t know how angry you are?

If you have been told by many counsellors to cut contact why don’t you? If it’s because you want your son to see his Grandparents, then you really have to get over your past history and let him have his own relationship with them.

I don’t want to reset anything because they just blame me and the way I’ve treated them.

They can’t see their faults even though they’ve been raised for 30 years.

Why didn’t you just say to your son, that there was no reason whatever to worry about a pencil, grandad was being a bit silly, and if he couldn’t find it, you’d get him another one, so trivial, so easily sorted.

We haven’t projected our fears onto our son at all - we haven’t spoken badly or negatively of them to my son, allowed him to see them after school etc.

My dad also knows I don’t want him to see my son football yet he still turns up every time - which I accept he’s fully allowed to do.

Counselling wise I have had 5 of them. Most said to cut contact.

One said to act as if he is dead!

You say it began last year, but it’s obviously a family problem that’s been making you angry since you were a child.

You say that you ‘have had to cut contact’ with other family members as well.

Maybe some counselling might help you?

It might be that you are projecting your fears and problems onto your son and his relationship with his Grandparents, you were raging, yet your Father didn’t mention anything about it?

Maybe try to reset your relationship with your parents? Start afresh and try not to read the negative aspects of everything they say or do.

I’m sorry you have so much anger from your childhood but I really think a 3rd party to talk to might be a way forward.p and help you to see past your rage and anger.

When I gave my mum the letter saying I was cutting contact we made sure my son wasn’t around.

We made sure he was not involved.

Last night my dad gave me a letter which I threw back at him while my son was there.

Now he asks questions, is wondering why his grandpa and grandma is doing it etc.

Because they were making my son feel anxious and worried over something so minor.

This is what they do and we had had a history of the same thing.

Over something do pathetic as a pencil.

Do you think it’s fair to make a child feel this way?

If they make him feel this way over a pencil, what about things that are actually important in life?

How strange Sounds a bit of a storm in a teacup all over a child being told not to lose a pencil !!! How can you be raging over that ?