I was looking through photos of my childhood today, and it was surprising to me that every time I was the main subject, there I was with this big smile. Every time I wasn't the main subject but included I don't look happy.
The photos where I am smiling are often thrown at me as proof of a wonderful childhood.
My photos are different. I prefer candid photos and the ones where my children have known they are the subject, they will have big cheesy grins except for my daughter who is autistic. She doesn't communicate non verbally (although she may learn to one day) with smiling the way a lot of us do. So she won't smile for the camera, you have to catch genuine smiles or laughs. I also display many photos that are also beautiful without smiles.
There are all these family photos of me smiling for the camera and I look at them and remember where we were and what was happening at that point in my life that made me unhappy.
So I wonder... do parents who were abusive look at those photos and remember what they were saying or doing to hurt you? Or do those photos where you were told to smile under threat of making them angry change their perceptions and their memories when they look back at them?
Always being on call for my elderly neighbour.