Family Photos

VioletSky

Blondiescot it's so sad that so many of us didn't learn this truth until our 40s

Do you think it's raising our own children that eventually wakes us or maybe coupled with parents getting older and being less able to hide their behaviour from others?

We did wake up though, that's the important thing and it's never to late to find our own way

this is true Violet
Hitting my 40s and my children growing up and over the age I was when I was estranged by my parent really brought things into focus for me. I think part of it is just having time to process things and feeling ready too

I have also done all this with the photos too. I was on none with my estranged parent even when they were in my life. I even remembered where I sat with my sibling at one huge family party and there is a photo of them on another table laughing with the table there is one photo where they are obviously glaring at me and it was over 30 years ago!

Janejudge

It always seems to me that the unhappy memories stick with you the most. That makes it so much more difficult.

Also the times you embarass yourself that like to intrude on you when you want to sleep lol

Thank you for saying that, it is a positive step to be ready to do this and I hadn't thought of it that way

I have realised how cruel they were, how I am not like that - so it is positive, even though it is painful. Only do what you can cope with x

It's true that the bad memories seem to sit at the forefront of our minds. I have found this more as I have git older. I was frightened every day as a child (at home and at school). Unfortunately a frightened, traumatised child can become a frightened, traumatised adult.

I am impressed that people remember their photos being taken, I don't. I would say it's Only one or two for me of anything pre 10/11 years of age that I remember. Does that make me unusual? Certainly don't remember my thoughts. I very much took things as they came and I never questioned how my parents felt about me, they looked after me and I was happy. In those days parents were not going "love you " every time you spoke, no need,we knew. I think we were more stoic and got on with things, we didn't examine feelings. People are best friends almost straight away now much more touchy freely.

Having said that, I'm sure if I had been mistreated I would remember it all. So I've been lucky in that respect. It's hard for me to understand how a mother can't love her child, yet some don't , its often on the news, it's unnatural.

I did eventually put together a box of photos and heirlooms

I took out a few photos with just myself as a child in them to keep with my main photo collection that I look at and spent a great deal of time putting together a family box and album that will be passed down too.

Future generations will just see family photos and nothing more, if these photos are kept in an age where people no longer accumulate a lot of clutter like this lol

It ended up being very cathartic

Looking at the little girl who did not deserve to be treated so badly, I let go a lot of internalised blame

I don't think that makes you unusual Allsorts I hate having my photo taken, so tend to forget about it as soon as possible.

I have loads of childhood photos as my grandad had a great interest in photography and as an only grandchild he took loads I have them all but no memories of them being taken or how I felt at the time they were taken
I also have loads and loads of my grandchildren through the years and the grandkids love looking through them

We have loads of the boys Blubelle and we must have spent a small fortune on school ones because we've at least 4 of each, for each of them for every primary school year!!!