I no longer have any uncertainty in my life.
My son would never make plans to see me, leaving me waiting and hoping in vain. The last time I heard from him, he denied us the chance to speak to GC on their birthday or even that week, but only wanted me to do things for him that were illegal- and rant at me for all the things he resents from the past, which cannot be changed in any case. I said no. I never heard from him again.
Next he chose his brothers birthday to write in a card that he will be abroad at Christmas so not to get gifts. I don't know if that's true or not, but as his brother wisely said "the effect is the same". He doesn't want to see us and I do know why. It's because I didn't allow him to continue to be cruel when he tried to use GC to coerce me to do illegal things for him.
If I had allowed him to control me, perhaps he would still be in our lives, but it wasn't fair on my other son or husband (or myself) to put our lives and freedom at risk, not to mention the fact that it's not something I would ever do. He has chosen a life I can't be part of, because I won't be coerced into criminality- and there is no reason he wants to see me unless he can use me. There is no trust (from me) and no respect (from him) so not much can be done.
My other son and husband are relieved that the "trouble" is gone, but obviously sad about GC and not to be a family. Last year I was trying to figure out how to give GC a gift and I did manage it (by chasing son) but all that happened was that he treated us appallingly in 2022, which became crueller as the year went on. I won't chase again. There will be a gift here for GC in case they should turn up unannounced, (which I doubt). We made a huge mistake in chasing last year just because it was Christmas when nothing had actually changed in him- so he respected us even less for chasing.
Absolutely miserable after yet another social gathering...
Soop's kitchen for kindly folk.
Food bank rollercoaster. Huge empathy to Fury!! Is it just me?