Friendship, advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

Oh dear smiles - what a shame those flowers but I'm glad they are perking up.

Sorry about the disruption to your plans Whiff and what happened to your friend's cat sounds awful. I do hope it all works out. I suffer from severe anxiety - never used to but it's crept up on me over the course of a few very difficult years. I followed your lead and went to my local Knit and Natter this morning. I had a lovely time and I think it will do me a lot of good. Everyone I met was so nice. I have visions of you now swearing away at errant plants.

I block out certain days too allsorts - I've kind of got used to not thinking about them now. I'm glad you have some good memories though.

What a shame about your flowers from your DS Smiles
I remember sending flowers to my dad when he was knocked down by a motor bike in London and had a broken pelvis. He never got the flowers that were sent to the hospital, I never contacted the florist to tell them, I was living in Africa at the time, no phone contact, so a 2hr journey into town to tell them. I put it down to my fault as I should have sent them home not to the hospital where they got lost.

DL unfortunately your GS and therefore you and all the family will be forever linked with the new mum & baby. So, you need to be very careful and maybe get the whole family on-board as to how to deal with her and baby throughout your lives.

My son & I sorted out next doors garden yesterday, cut the 4ft grass down and just did a little tidying etc. couldn't stand to see it in such a mess anymore, I see it through my kitchen window. My late neighbours D messaged me just after, to let me know some friends of hers were going to take a look today. So, I may have shot myself in the foot as I was going to offer to buy it off her, would have been better to have left it looking a mess and asked then I know, but I just got the 'itch' to get it done. Just a shame Dave wasn't here to see it.

Whiff sorry to hear about your friend cancelling her trip to you because of her cat being attacked. My neighbour has really exotic beautiful cats, she doesn't let them leave their garden and goes out with them in morning for their wees. Even so just before I moved here, one of her cats was killed by a fox! One of her cats looks like a cat version of my dog, white and fluffy and very pretty, so I'm afraid for my dog too with the foxs.

My dance teacher has exotic cats too, they look like small tigers and leopards etc. She has a net over her entire garden, to keep her cats in and the foxs out!

I will take some flowers to my dad on Sunday at the garden of remembrance Spring. My AC do nothing for their dad, as my eldest D says; he stopped being their dad when she was 9, her brother 6 & youngest 3yrs. He never made any effort to see them or buy them anything nice, never paid maintenance money for them. Lives abroad, away from them, when they were younger he could have made the effort and at least lived in the same country, but he wasn't bother. He now lives in Indonesia, so they see him at weddings and funerals, but only if his dad or brother pick up the tab for his airfare and expenses!

Just heard from Dave's D that he had a heart attack. The coroner said he wouldn't have even made it to the stairs. So, I wouldn't have saved him if I'd found him earlier. Still upsets me.

Nice to hear you followed Whiffs lead Hugs and joined & enjoyed your new 'nit& natter' class. It's important to get out and socialised with others.

How nice to hear about your loving memories of your dad allsorts. Yes, we must try to forget the things that upset us and remember the happy times.

I promised to feed my DD Guinpigs on Saturday, had to detour coming back home as A road was at a standstill. Had to go pass where I used to live, which I don't like doing as it brings up all the past memories of my EstD living there. Glancing to see if they were sitting in their local pub gardens. My son, not knowing what I was thinking, said he was sure we had just passing them walking up. I didn't see anything of them, but just makes you feel sad after a nice day out .

Yogin glad your neighbours daughter told you her dad's cause of death. Hopefully that has put your mind at ease as there would have been nothing you could have done.

I had a funny experience similar to you Yogin when you went past where you used to live glancing to see if you could see your son. On the bus to the station yesterday there was an Iceland HGV in front of us and wondered if my son was driving. Then told myself off for thinking that. But it did make me think if I ever did see him in the street what would I do and would he just ignore me ? We live in different parts so the chances of that are very slim.

Hugs glad you had a good time at knit and natter. Wonder if it gets as racy as our lot. It's funny in another life none of us would have met but we just clicked. All different but it works. Hope you keep going every week . No matter how bad my pain is I still go to my exercise class and craft group. Mind you think our teacher on Monday was trying to kill us. Did it in the church again as it was cooler said we would do some yoga as that would be cooler for us . After doing some of our normal exercises. We had to stand the back of our chairs. I always feel like I have had a good workout but never get sweaty. After we did 6 yoga positions my face was dripping 🥵. She said well that was harder than I thought. We voted not to do that again. But it looked easy in the book she did them from she said. 🤣.

Had a great day out in Chester yesterday with my best friend we talked about out husbands and had a look in a few shops but mainly sat . Took time over our lunch in M&S and later on went to the cathedral cafe for cake and a cold drink. I love going on the train and needed a hand from fellow passengers who saw me struggle to get of and on the train. It was ok in the underground as the train was flush with the platform but at Chester it was a long drop down. Have asked her to come and stay with me when she feels up to it as she's only been once few months after I moved her with her husband for the day.

Had my washing out and stew on by 9 . Going to make a Victoria sandwich for craft group tomorrow. Then just rest loved my day out but it takes its toll . Will fetch my new glasses on Friday and can sing I can see clearly now off key 😁 .

My friend says that's why she doesn't like making plans incase things happen. But I have always from as long as you can remember plan as it's how my world works. But my HPX group are the same . I couldn't live without making plans I like routine . I can do spur of the moment things but don't like it as it causes my anxiety to kick in . Which I didn't know what it was until my HPX lot said they are the same. Never knew I had anxiety but does explain a lot about my life.

Hope your flowers are still looking lovely Smiles.

Keep cool everyone.

I'm glad you know what happened with your neighbour Yogin. It's still sad that you have lost a neighbour but hopefully you can rest a bit easier knowing you couldn't have done anything.

I can relate to those stories about your sons Whiff and Yogin. There's a lad who lives local who looks a bit like my son as a teenager, and every so often I see him and get a jolt for a moment. Silly, because my ES wouldn't be round these parts and I know he doesn't look like that anymore anyway. Even though it's just a momentary thing it makes me feel odd for quite a while.

Your day out in Chester sounds lovely, Whiff. You made me want cake too.

Did a bit of cleaning and gardening today and had a lovely writing workshop with some fellow Yorkshire scribblers. A new anthology with a story of mine arrived in the post, and what is really nice is it has stories in from two writer friends as well. Reminded me of the lovely new friends I have made since I took this up.

Hugs brilliant that you got published again. I know you have had problems with your new home since moving but are getting things sorted. You sound like me moving has given you a new life. I know you wrote before your move but by joining the knit and natter you make new friends. I found when I moved people got to know me no labels but me and pleased to say they like me. I have more friends here that I had before. My old life was taken up with with others being dependant on me . I couldn't live the life I wanted or needed . All changed with my move . Yes I lost my son and grandson's but that's his choice not mine. But besides having more friends who I can count on ,good neighbours,better healthcare. If I had stayed where I was still wouldn't know the 2 things I was born with and getting treatment for them. I am lucky I see my daughter and grandson's each week . Living in my bungalow has made my life better and found out I am a gardener. Since my move I am happier than I have been since before my husband died. Funny as you get older you think your life would slow down but time for me flies by.

Had an upset in the early hours. Because of my mobility I can't get straight up to go too the loo. Have to sit before I get my balance. But in the early hours woke to find I had wet my bed. I normally wear a thin tena lady as had a little trickle a couple of times but managed to stop it and get to the loo that's why I started wear them. But last night forgot to put one in my PJs . I feel so ashamed . Had to strip off the sheet and cleaned mattress with antibac wipes and blotted the urine up with kitchen roll until it felt dryer. I put 2 thick towels on the mattress and a fleece so I could go to sleep again . Will ask my daughter to put a clean sheet on when she has time. Glad to say mattress is bone dry and no smell this morning.

No idea why it happened as normally wake up if I have a wee dream and know I need the loo but only woke when I felt wet. I won't forget to put a pad on in further as I don't want to have to put a waterproof cover under my sheet.

No a nice note to end on . But be careful everyone it's going to be another very hot day.

Morning all. This good weather has lifted my spirits. I don't think we always appreciate how much the weather can affect us, especially this time of the year when we look forward to warm shunshine.

It was good of Dave's D to let you know the cause of death Yogin and I hope that knowing there was nothing you could have done and that he didn't suffer, brings you some peace.

Well done hugs on getting published again, we'll have to get your autograph. I agree with Whiff, you do seem to have a new lease of life since you moved despite the problems. Moving was the best thing we could have done even though it's taken 6.5 years to sort out the various issues we've had with water ingress, and of course there was that sink hole. Don't think I'll ever forget that.

Nothing at all to be ashamed about Whiff. You're a marvel, not allowing your health problems to dictate how you live your life which is so full .

Nothing much to report. Enjoying the lovely weather and pottering around as we do. Got up early on Monday and Mr. S. cleaned the 3 chairs in the kitchen diner, one set of stairs and I did 2 carpets.

Horrified at the colour of the water, especially from one of the chairs the dogs are on a lot so have decided they should be done every 6 months instead of once a year. The good thing is they didn't look as grubby as they actually were.

Going to crack on with some housework this morning so I can sit out on our roof terrace this afternoon with my book.

Enjoy the day dear friends and take care x.

Morning all and thank you for your kind words re my neighbour, but still wonder, even with what the coroner said.

Well done with your writing Hugs what is the themes?

Glad you had a lovely day out with your friend Whiff

Maybe put a towel on the chair the dogs favour, to save it getting grubby Smiles

So sad isn't it, we've missed all those happy occasions with our EAC & GC, can never recapture them, what a senseless waste of family life, which should be the most important thing in the world to us all.

My hobby is now my garden and my birds and wildlife in my garden. Loads of different lovely birds in my garden now, they have all had babies and such a delight to watch them all. I'm an avid watcher of 'Spring watch' & gardeners world.

Replacement flowers came this morning and I had felt a little guilty because after I'd complained, the original ones did come to life but I'm glad I did.

We did notice that the seal on the box for the first delivery was broken. and when I was unpacking today's, we realised that there were 10 white roses and there'd only been 6 in the first.

I've emailed the company to thank them for the replacement and said I suspect that the original was tampered with, 4 roses taken and the remainder possibly dried out because the seal had been broken.

At least I know DS got his money's worth but isn't that a rotten thing for someone to do.

I agree, My time flies by Whiff. Please, don't be ashamed about your bladder problems. We don't get a say in the things our bodies inflict on us, only on how we try and manage them and you cope very well with everything. I have the opposite problem lately, I get up to go for a pee and have to sit there ages while my bladder decides to empty. Wouldn't mind but it means I'm wide awake by the time it's done so. So, I've taken to doing a bit of reading or writing till I'm sleepy agian.

I must admit I'm getting happier with most things since I've moved. It's so inspiring to know that you both continue to be much happier whiff and smiles.
I have found the amount of unexpected repairs and the difficulties getting decent workpeople really stressful, especially as some of the problems relate to repairs and alternations needed to outbuildings affected by long-standing issues concerning the boundary that the previous owners absolutely should have been disclosed and did not. Seems the people next door never spoke to the woman who lived here before us, and there was bad blood between previous owners in both houses. I won't go into all the details but it's been really stressful getting to the root of everything, trying to fix them, and dealing with people who already had a grievance. I confess, they got me at a bad time and I didn't handle things as well as I could, but I have found them difficult to deal with and oblivious to our perspective to the point of being unconcerned about damage to our property.
However, everyone else we have met has been lovely. We seem to be almost at the end of sorting things with this particular neighbour, so fingers crossed we can put that behind us. The rest of the maintenance work can be done at our timescale then, which will be much better.

I write about all sorts of bits and pieces Yogin. Mostly flash ie very short stories which allow me to experiment with lots of different ideas. I'm very much still learning, so I like to try a bit of most genres. I've joined several writing groups now and signed up to a few courses and that's given me the opportunity to chat with lots of other writers and make some lovely friends.
I love birds and wildlife too. We've started getting tits and finches visiting now, along with plenty of sparrows, blackbirds and robins. There's a song thrush we regularly hear over the back, along with willow warblers, wrens, and once or twice a nightingale. We get so much more wildlife here than at the old house and I love that.

I'm glad you got your flowers as they should have been, in the end, smiles. I do wonder who tampered with the first lot!

We had a day out today which was lovely.

Whiff, you cope brilliantly, in future just remember the Tena, I know a few people who have the same problem it’s such a faff changing sheets in the middle if the night. Shame about your friend not coming, she’s got herself trapped a bit with all those cats.
Yoga glad you are now loving your new home, know you had your issues to begin with. I would miss a garden, however small as I would feel trapped that’s why I battle on with my jungle.
Hugshelp, congratulations on your recent publication. I have written a book about where and how things were as I grew up, just need to type it out. Also a fast cookbook with no processed food in it as I cant stand it.
Smiles I can just see you on your roof terrace, I will look out the lady lady with the binoculars in one hand and a glass in the other next time I visit Scarborough, look upwards instead of ahead.😁

Morning all

Thanks Allsorts Love my garden, but still hate the road, trying to find a parking spot! New neighbours over the rd. renting, so many motors and people visiting.

Good on you Hugs sounds interesting. I always read a book in bed after my evening classes, instead of turning the TV on.

Sounds like someone at the florist is making up a bouquet for themselves Smiles, the owner needs to look at the cctv. Good to hear you got an untampered with, replacement.

Whiff You need to do pelvic floor exercises: stop your wee mid flow when sitting on the loo & hold for a sec. same when finished, this will tighten up your pelvis floor muscles. Good luck.

Had a really traumatic morning yesterday in my local park. Sycho Swan was chasing a female duck out of the lake, which he seems to do all year round. But the duck had babies, I said at least he's leaving the babies alone. He was relentless on keeping this duck out of the lake so away from her babies. Many were trying to stop the swan, but he wouldn't listen to reason. He then started on the babies, killed 2 in front of us. So, we decided to rescue the others, one guy scooped up a baby just as the Swan went in for the kill, unfortunately hitting the baby just before the guy scooped it up, it's inners were coming out and it died in the man's hand. We got the other 2 and tried to get mother duck to follow us, but it would have been too far, as we were taking them to the adjacent park over the road where there's another lake. The lady managed to capture the mother duck and off we went, I had one baby.

We got to the other lake were there were other female ducks with their babies, so we thought 'that's great they'll be safe here' put them in. One baby must have been disorientated by trauma and started swimming with another female duck & her babies, only to be attacked by this mother too. We said 'Oh no! but time we left the mother & babies we rescued were swimming away from the other ducks into safety and hopefully a happy sycho free life!

We had the same scenario last year with a rough Swan flying in, I phoned the RSPCA, but a local guy who is known as the unofficial swan man was phoned to come and help. He cornered the swan, which had been chased out of the lake by sycho and had an injured leg. He managed to capture her and take her to the other lake.

Those books sound great Allsorts.
Goodness me Yogin that sounds alarming. Swans can be really scary when they rear up high. Poor ducks.

I baked cookies today, trimmed a few bushes, did a bit of editing. Quite a nice day. Hot though, and the heat is playing havoc with Mr Hugs eczema. Think it cools down a bit here tomorrow.

How upsetting Yogin. You and the others did well to save the mother and two of her babies. Nature can be cruel can't it which is why I can never watch wildlife programmes on the tv. Mr. S. does, in another room and I think it was the last time he saw 'The Blue Planet', he came through looking quite upset and hasn't watched anything like it since.

Swans are beautiful and powerful birds. A couple of years ago we were walking our dogs around a lake at a local park and there was a male by the side of the footpath with wings fully extended, and hissing at anyone who got near. There was a cygnet on the water with mum, and he was obviously protecting them.

We started to take a detour and Mr. S. noticed a man with a dog who was going to walk past. He went up to him and said 'I wouldn't do that, that swan is more than capable of killing your dog if you get too near'; he took his advice thank goodness.

Our dogs were groomed yesterday and look beautiful and are probably relieved to have less coat in this weather, not that their coats are very long anyway.

Going to crack on with today's chores so the rest of the day can be spent relaxing on the roof terrace with my book. We've had some spectacular sunsets here. The sky a beautiful pink and the sea like silver; amazing.

Enjoy the day dear friends x.

Allsorts your books some lovely. My friend is still putting her other 3 cats into the cattery today until Friday as planned. Had a 3 hour talk with her yesterday. She couldn't understand why the sudden cancellation unsettled me so explained what my life has been like and why all my life had to do things a certain way. Until my diagnosis I just thought I was weird but talking to others with HPX they had and have to do things the same way. HPX makes it hard to take in and retain information hence at school I used to have to write things out time and time again so I could remember and understand what I was learning but it worked as I did well in my exams . And why my life has always been planned in advance. I can do spur of the moment but it's difficult and sets of my anxiety. Which I didn't know that's what it was called just thought it was me getting in a tiss. Funny how the moment my neurologist told me my diagnosis my world changed and finding the HPX group I am no longer weird and alone . I am normal for HPX. Like all conditions we all have same symptoms but also things unique to us.

She still wants to come up this year but won't decide so far in advance but told her she can't decide suddenly to come without giving me a months noticed. I can't do that . But hopefully she understood what I explained. Also my calendar fills up with things I am doing.

Talking to my friend in Chester on Tuesday she said but you where fine at college but said no I wasn't I just hide the pain and how I had to retain information because of the bullying I had suffered all my secondary school life until the bullies left at 16 and I stayed on to do A levels. Only my family knew what my life had been like to a point. Only my husband knew everything he was the only person who knew the real me and me knew the real him.

Yogin how awful about the swan but so glad you could save the mother duck and at least a couple of the ducklings. Wonder if the swan was like it is because its mate had died. I read long ago swans mate for life. Hence it's behaviour.

I have been doing my pelvic floor exercises for 27 years since I had a total hysterectomy when I was 38. Had both children by c section so nothing has been stretched to its limits. Seeing the nurse at my surgery on 27th for blood test results and with mention it to her.

Smiles glad you got your replacement flowers but fancy someone tampering and stealing some of the original roses. That's bizarre. There's an old saying 'there's nout so queer as folk' . Glad the dogs feel better for having their fur done.

Years ago I found out why pigs like to have a mud bath it's to protect their skin because they can get sun burnt. Long time ago my brother and his ex wife had a white dog they had to put suntan cream on his parts that weren't covered in fur because of the sun also he was born deaf, apparently some white dogs are deaf so they had another dog to be it's guide dog . They taught the deaf one via sign language sit ,stay etc.

Glad to say I have broad beans and french beans forming. Flowers starting to appear on my toms and have flowers and strawberries forming. My one lot of chard will need cutting in the week.

My craft what's app group where very chatty yesterday. Ones husband had a knee replacement on Wednesday and came home on Thursday he managed to have a shower on Friday. Doing his exercises and depending how well he heals and movement will have the second one done in 3 months if not in 6 months. He's in his early 50's. But keeps fit doing a martial art.

Well that's me up to date having my grandson for the day 7th as teachers on strike so will take him to our local Weatherspoons for lunch he loves going on the bus.

Take care everyone .

That's interesting about white dogs Whiff. Our little white poodle isn't deaf but his hearing isn't as it should be. We used to think he was being a little bugger and ignoring us but he just doesn't always hear us. He responds to my voice more than
Mr. S.'s but I think that's because mine's a higher pitch.

I used to have to put sun cream on my pale Sphynx cats so they didn't burn and had to limit the time they were out in the sun very carefully. Fond memories of chasing them around with a dollop of cream in one hand; miss my cats but wont be getting any more.

Sounds like you have a lovely day planned for the 7th.

Last night's concert went well and I was pleased with my solo but it was a long night as we were the last, the concert with interval lasted 2 hours and we had to be there an hour before it began.

Not sure if I'll do one again. I prefer our choir's concerts as we're singing all the time.

Smiles glad your concert went well and you performed your solo. If I could sing I would prefer a smaller choir concert to an epic one. I would have worried at a bigger one in case I needed the loo and have to go only to find everyone was on stage and I missed it. I know weird things pop into my mind.

Feeling a bit lost this morning. I had planned what we where doing this week so my friend could see more of the area and meet my exercise and craft friends as I talk about them all the time.

Talking on Saturday she will come sometime this year but won't plan so far ahead. But had to explain she can't decide I will come in 1-or 2 weeks time. I can't work like that . Always had to plan things well in advance. My trip to my brother's next month was planned 2 months ago and already got my train tickets for a day out in August. But have always had to plan well in advance. I know understand why as others with HPX have to do the same. I can do spur of the moment but causes me anxiety only though others with HPX found that's what it was called how I felt. That's why even trips on the bus to new places is planned like a military operation with me watching every bus stop so I know where to get off. That's why I have travel assistance on the train it takes that worry away no fear of getting on the wrong train or missing connections.

Will have to pick some chard this morning . Then exercise class this afternoon. And decide what to do this week at least I have craft group Thursday.

Had lot of rain yesterday but it made the humidity rise very sticky so had my fan on.

Well hope everyone has a good day.

Just picked my chard.

Whiff the swan has been with his mate for many many years, she didn't die. He protects her and their babies, but is very vicious, killing the baby ducklings and chasing off the female ducks. The other day he was trying to tear off a duck's wing, wouldn't let go! The penny has dropped at why we only see the baby swans in the lake, no ducklings!

Well done with your concert on Saturday Smiles shame you can't put a voice track on here, I'd love to hear it.

Know what you mean re being a long evening with your concert. When I did my dancing, for about 12yrs, we had our dance performances which lasted about 3hrs. I loved them to begin and couldn't understand one lady that didn't participate. Towards the final years of my dancing, I too began to think I preferred to just do the practice at the studio.

It's a long time isn't it Yogin and so much of it sitting around and waiting. Of course you get to enjoy the other performances and my teacher whose a mezzo soprano and the other teacher whose a soprano were amazing.

I told her that having heard her sing 'properly' I'd be too self conscious to sing in front of her again!!! She emailed me this morning to confirm tomorrow's lesson and put "fantastic singing on Saturday"; I'm thrilled .

Well that does explain why you don't see ducklings on that pond. Couldn't something be organised to move the little ones to a safe pond as soon as they're spotted?

Such a shame about your friend Whiff, you must be disappointed but hopefully another stay will be arranged and you'll have that to look forward too.

Cooler with some cloud here today but still very pleasant so guess what I'll be doing this afternoon .............