To want to leave UK

GagaJo

OnwardandUpward

Fleurpepper

Without knowing the specific country (and I get why wou don't want to disclose) it is difficult to say. Some healthcare systems are easier to access than others, for instance.

But (and I know some here will not like me saying this), Brexit has made it incredibly difficult.

Alll the best.

Its probably Spain, not a secret. Not really exotic or amazing but do-able.

That was my 'retirement ' country too. It's definitely not what it seems when there on holiday, travelling or temporarily. The Brits aren't their preferred people. And they're also very insular and not inclined to want to open their social circles to foreigners.

I doubt they are, but the place I was considering has many people from other countries and only about 50% Spaniard.

I do have a very good friend who is Spanish and lives in Spain, though whether she's going to still be there when I'll be ready, I don't know.

the difficulties about moving out of uk while continuing to work for a uk employer were not about being able to carry out the job description.
it was around the employer's responsibilities, eg employment law, tax, various liabilities and locus of jurisdiction.
most uk employers will not accept it.

My remote work is not for an employer and I pay my own taxes already for that.

I would not be expecting to work for my UK employer from Spain. I don't see its a problem.

The main thing I see is a problem is how to travel with pets and make sure they are happy.

would you need a work permit ?

Probably need a self employed visa.

It's a long term plan. We would never leave the country while we have my Dad and Mother in Law still with us.

We love our jobs here and this is definitely looking into the future for when we can no longer visit them. Our plan is to travel only after we lose our current pets because we don't like to leave them and don't want to make them travel. Before that we will continue to enjoy our furry friends and make the most of the good things in life.

I am pre empting loss, I suppose with a plan to cope. We've already lost so much and while you can never really get away from that, it's also possible to enjoy many things.

Find out as much as possible about daily life in the country you want to move to.

Check whether as a British citizen you will have to pay income tax on your pension in both the UK and the country you move to.

There are many differences from one country to another, so look into your rights if you do not apply for nationality (or cannot do so) in the country you want to move to.

These include whether you would, if you needed it, be eligible for social security, whether you would need to pay to live in a nursing home or sheltered accomodation if that becomes necessary, what kind of health insurance you will be offered, what kind of bank account you may open and whether you will is valid there if you are leaving your estate to children resident in the UK.

These are just a few of the points you need to clarify, along with if, and if so, for how long a British driving licence is valid.

My husband's nan had four children: my husband's dad, uncle and two aunts.
One aunt had one child, a daughter, who emigrated to Australia with her husband and family.
Aunt and her husband always planned to move to Australia to be with their daughter and family, but aunt refused to go while nan was still alive as she "couldn't leave her mother," despite nan having the three others nearby.
Needless to say aunt's husband died first, and by that time aunt didn't want to emigrate on her own, so she missed out on all her long-held plans.

Would it be possible for the two of you to take a rental property and leave your son and the pets at home for a trial period, see how that works out?
Easy to come back then, but nothing ventured nothing gained.

OnwardsandUpwards, when you fulfill this dream, first go to th country of your dreams and rent a house for a year and do not sell your UK home.

If after a year everything in the garden is lovely then sell your UK house and buy a house in the country you have moved to, but buy a small flat to keep as a pied-a-terre in the UK. You could rent it out.

I have noticed among people I know, who have retired abroad, that they get to an age, usually early 80s, when travelling to visit family in the UK is getting hardwork, or they have an emergency and help from home takes 5 days to arrive, when they begin to wish they lived closer to their family and a lot of them then want to move back to the UK, but that can take years to do in some cases because not every country has a house moving culture as fluid as ours, and things work a lot better if the person/couple still have a property, however small in the UK.

Even in the UK, a dear friend, decided to move from the South East to Yorkshire when she retired because she needed to release capital from her house and had worked there in her 30s and loved it.

We all advised her to rent for a year, because loving a place in the 1970s when you were in your 30s is not the same as trying to live there in your late 60s, 35 years later. We all recommended she rent for a year, but she refused to and went out and spent ever spare penny buying a house - and she found when she got to her Nirvana, that it had changed beyond recognition, - and she hated the place and found it difficult to make friends, but she could not afford to move back. She died a few years later before she was 70 and I am convinced her death was hastened by her disastrous move. If only she had rented first.

Onward...You deserve to be free and happy.

How about getting some therapy and learning how to protect yourself and detach from the toxic people and dynamics in your life that are upsetting you and dragging you into unhealthy relating.

Get your friends around you and tell them what you're doing... and that will help you take your focus off the family issues.

Being in another country, unless you have made an inner change to the pattern of how you relate to these people, will not solve the problem.

It doesn't matter if they don't take responsibility ,that's not your problem, let them get on with it.. it's perhaps time for you to take responsibility for your own well-being, keeping in mind that the only person we can ever change is ourselves

In my experience things like this have to be worked through to be finally resolved. Usually it doesn't work to try and jump over issues by going to a different geographical area. And why should you have to take such a drastic step to find peace? Peace is available in the eye of any storm should you want to find it.

You might choose to move to another area, but let it be a choice make with full awareness rather than in desperation.

As others have suggested, how about trying to go for a month in winter to your desired location and see how it is. A break might give you courage.

Good luck

thankyou all for the advice, but I won't be doing anything in the near future because

1) I won't leave the UK while I have parents and inlaws alive
2) I have a dog and don't want to make the dog travel, so might wait until I don't have a dog anymore
3) I want to keep saving.
4) I want to wait until we are retirement age

So, it is a dream and a plan for the more distant future. It's nice to dream.

it is a dream and a plan for the more distant future. It's nice to dream.
Dreams beckon hope and future happiness, so never let the thoughts go away.

If you live in the north of England I would move far south- Devon or Cornwall. That way you get the benefits of living in the country you know and have citizenship rights. Maybe somewhere like the Isle of Wight or even the Channel Islands? I was going to suggest Australia or New Zealand but it is quite hard to get permanent residence here though apparently they are easing up on it because they are short of workers in many fields. They have a lot of reciprocal arrangements with the UK.

I’m afraid you just take troubles with you Onward. You need to be at peace with yourself, you are not the one in the wrong but you’re worn out. A bit of pampering would not go a miss.

Only a few words here. Follow your dreams. Life is so short. Go for it while you can.

Why not just go somewhere by the south coast, like the Isle of Wight? That would make you feel you had left the country but without the hassle.

I am not ready to leave until my son meets someone.

Really? I think this is risky.
How long will you wait? How old are you? If he doesn't find someone by the time he's 40 (say) what will you do?

I have a lovely daughter showing no signs of settling down with anyone yet.
She is older than your son with a "good" job and her own house.
I think I might be not keen on moving by the time she's ready to hitch up with someone!