To be honest when I read through the thread there are many helpful thoughtful views expressed that may not agree but that present food for thought for others.
I do think that the following trends listed below do contribute to perceptions of bullying, unkindness etc but when analysed I don't read bullying, I do read upset, disagreement and emotion across the spectrum of posters plus sometimes a lack of clear response or explanation which exacerbates the situation:
*Sometimes comments appear to get misunderstood but when genuine questions are asked to gain clarification they are sometimes ignored and no answer is given.
*Sometimes views are expressed as generalisations which are inevitably triggering for other parties, sometimes AC sometimes GPs, because, for instance, a group appears to being treated as an amorphous mass whose circumstances are all the same.
*Equally when a particular viewpoint is acknowledged but disagreed with, that acknowledgement appears to be ignored. The opposing view is repeated with apparently no acceptance that others may see things differently for clearly explained reasons, or that there might be nuances etc
*Sometimes requests are made about the behaviour or percieved "style" of posting of another poster which unfortunately comes over as a telling off and sometimes no clarity about what is being referred to leading to confusion, and then requests for clarification ignored.
*References are made regarding specific posters needs which is fine but when other posters refer to that it is felt to be inappropriate. This is hard for all concerned and causes more upset and apparently offence taken.
This ends up becoming a never ending spiral of repetition, upset, anger and accusations of "personal" and eventually derails a thread really.
I have posted a lot more than normal on this thread and expressed clear disagreement with the views of some other posters. I have not been rude as far as I am aware (unless I have inadvertently expressed my self badly and not realised) and I really have tried to explain my views. When asking for clarification on a number of comments to me, including about my percieved posting style, I have been ignored. When I apologised for a post if mine apparently coming over badly, I was ignored! I'm really not sure why.
I think discussion, disagreement and debate on such important issues is good and can be really helpful to people dealing with Estrangement etc in trying to work out what is right for them in their circumstances. But all of the above doesn't really do that and puts me off commenting...until the next time when I feel strongly that different perspectives need to heard and considered! 😏
